The Library is Open - 11/18

[prof-methos.livejournal.com]

Methos is in a good mood again. There might well be whistling.

The salamander is not whistling. Methos occasionally addresses it by some of the suggested names, but so far it has not responded to any of them.

ETA: Shoved out by Janet, Methos pastes a sign on the door: Now accepting applications for library assistants.

Comments

Re: LIBRARY ASSISTANT APPLICATIONS

[wraithbaitjohn.livejournal.com]

Shep isn't really sure he wants the job, but since he's got time he fills out the application:

1. Explain the Dewey Decimal System in three words or less.

Where's. My.Book?

2. Complete the following phrase, "Happiness is..."

a noun

3. What number rule is Dr. Pierson's favorite rule? ETA: Please note which section and number it is, ie. IV./27. The current library assistants are easily bribed for the answer to this.

Uh... Janet?

4. What do you do when someone comes in and asks to check out the Necronomicon?

Ask them what my roommate paid them to come in and do that for him.

5. What do you do if someone walks into Special Collections without a library card?

Issue them a card? (I'm a non-confrontational sort)

6. Can you actually make someone sing and dance to get their library card? What song would you choose?

Depends on who they are. Certain people should never be allowed to sing or dance. If they could... I'm particularly fond of 'Defying Gravity' right now.

7. Zombies invade the high school. Where's the first place you think of to hide out?

Hide? Screw hiding. Hand me something lethal.

8. Who do you blame for the zombie stew when you're stuck cleaning the damned sludge out of the library for weeks on end?

McKay. But then again I've found life is much easier when I just blame him for everything.

9. Dr. Pierson has been missing for four days. Do you:
a) Run around in a panic.
b) Assume he's in Special Collections.
c) Call Dr. Cregg and the Doctor, and tell them to wake his ass up. Report him missing to the proper authorities.

Hope for a postcard? Maybe a little seashell bracelet... when he comes back.

10. No food or drink is allowed in the library. What is an appropriate response to someone bringing some in?
a) Kick them out immediately.
b) Accept a bribe, and make sure they don't get it on the books.
c) Confiscate the food and redistribute it only to those we like.

Depends on if it's something I like or not and how hungry I am.

11. The Library runs on:
a) Caffiene
b) Snark
c) Efficiency
d) All of the Above

Would that make the answer Snarcaffiency?

12. If you find a Library Assistant contract lying on the Collections Desk with no one around, what do you do?

Do I look like janitorial services? Clean up your own mess.

13. If a patron attempts to report you to the librarian for improper conduct, what is the appropriate reaction?

Depends on who I was accused of being improper with. *winks* In some cases I may make them demonstrate what exactly it was I supposedly did.

14. Are you comfortable with the title of 'minion?'

I'm USAF... I'v always been someone's beck and call boy. (And to be abundantly clear, that is not Beka's call boy!)