The Library is Open - 11/18

[prof-methos.livejournal.com]

Methos is in a good mood again. There might well be whistling.

The salamander is not whistling. Methos occasionally addresses it by some of the suggested names, but so far it has not responded to any of them.

ETA: Shoved out by Janet, Methos pastes a sign on the door: Now accepting applications for library assistants.

Comments

[mparkerceo.livejournal.com]

Parker is tense when she gets in, but not so tense that she can't cock an eyebrow at her boss. And smirk.

She gives him the traditional coffee without comment, though.

[janet_fraiser]

Janet comes in, tosses her backpack behind the desk, and starts printing out application forms. "Hey," she says. "You have that sign ready?"

[swerval_zero]

*A little pink kitty follows Janet in. She plans on spending her day curled up on the desk or following one of the library staff around mewing about how someone needs to e-mail her family, not that anyone understands her, and omg her parrot is going to starve to death.*

LIBRARY ASSISTANT APPLICATIONS

[janet_fraiser]

Please fill them out in blue or black ink only. Include any dates you are not available to work in the library. You will be in training the remainder of this semester so that the Library gets used to you.

1. Explain the Dewey Decimal System in three words or less.

2. Complete the following phrase, "Happiness is..."

3. What number rule is Dr. Pierson's favorite rule? ETA: Please note which section and number it is, ie. IV./27. The current library assistants are easily bribed for the answer to this.

4. What do you do when someone comes in and asks to check out the Necronomicon?

5. What do you do if someone walks into Special Collections without a library card?

6. Can you actually make someone sing and dance to get their library card? What song would you choose?

7. Zombies invade the high school. Where's the first place you think of to hide out?

8. Who do you blame for the zombie stew when you're stuck cleaning the damned sludge out of the library for weeks on end?

9. Dr. Pierson has been missing for four days. Do you:
a) Run around in a panic.
b) Assume he's in Special Collections.
c) Call Dr. Cregg and the Doctor, and tell them to wake his ass up. Report him missing to the proper authorities.

10. No food or drink is allowed in the library. What is an appropriate response to someone bringing some in?
a) Kick them out immediately.
b) Accept a bribe, and make sure they don't get it on the books.
c) Confiscate the food and redistribute it only to those we like.

11. The Library runs on:
a) Caffiene
b) Snark
c) Efficiency
d) All of the Above

12. If you find a Library Assistant contract lying on the Collections Desk with no one around, what do you do?

13. If a patron attempts to report you to the librarian for improper conduct, what is the appropriate reaction?

14. Are you comfortable with the title of 'minion?'

[chasingangela]

Angela walks into the library carrying a gray-and-brown tabby, who doesn't look especially happy to be carried and is, in fact, expressing this with pathetic "mew. mew. MEW" noises every few steps.

She sets the cat down on the desk. "Hey, Janet. I brought Minerva by to keep Zero company."

[carter-i-am.livejournal.com]

Sam walked into the library, waved to Janet, Parker, Zero, Angela, and Professor Pierson, and sat down at one of the tables. She was shortly surrounded by open quantum physics textbooks, diagrams, and many, many loose pages of notebook paper with equations scribbled on them.

[courier-gavin.livejournal.com]

Jake wanders in, looking around cautiously like he's expecting the books to attack him any second. "Parker? Are you here?"