Adventuring Survival Tactics, Period 4, A Classroom, 2/2/07

[nine-and-ears.livejournal.com]

Today, the classroom had pillows. Lots and lots of pillows. The Doctor was standing, with a smug grin on his face. When everyone had gathered, he spoke.

"Sex. If you're going to get all righteous and uptight on me, you're officially excused out the door right now and you can go watch Davey and Goliath clips on YouTube or whatever it is you boring people do. Anyone leaving?"

He paused, just in case anyone did.

"Now this isn't your stupid and silly tab a into slot b lesson. That... well, frankly, that's boring. I'm sure Mr. Harkness could share his expertise for multiple, well, yes, I'm not here to talk about what two humans can do with their block and tackle, right? This is about what happens when you get really friendly with a nice blue girl with mandibles or a scaly fellow who doesn't have lips. So now, please bear with me."

And then the doctor launched into a lengthy lecture. With gestures. Dolls and bizzare plushies as Visual aids. And some possibly psychologically scarring content about what one does with horns, mandibles, scales, tails, and, of course, tentacles.

"So now, pair up, one of you pretend to be a creature with different physiology, and chat each other up. If you need some ideas, there's some tentacle porn magazines under some of the pillows. No actual sex in my classroom, please. I'd get sacked, and that would be a bad thing. So... go ahead and do what comes naturally, eh?"

[ooc: Wait for OCD is up, my friends.]

Comments

Chat Each Other Up

[nine-and-ears.livejournal.com]

Remember, one of you is supposed to be not strictly humanoid.

Re: Chat Each Other Up

[strongestgirl.livejournal.com]

Pippi is fairly certain that being all ghostly and translucent is not an excuse for missing class.

The upside is that, being ghostly and mostly insubstantial unless she really focuses, she actually does have a non-standard physiology...

Of course, she also looks cold and dog tired...

Re: Chat Each Other Up

[notthehulk.livejournal.com]

Teddy? In the same boat as Pippi. So he decided that someone as tired as him would be the perfect partner for this stupid exercise.

He sat down in the desk next to her. Well, he tried to sit down in it, but ended up just falling through. "Hey."

Re: Chat Each Other Up

[strongestgirl.livejournal.com]

Pippi is still semi-solid at this point, so she's actually sitting on the thing she's sitting on.

"Hey... You too?"

Re: Chat Each Other Up

[multiplez]

Z comes factory-standard with a not-quite-normal physiology, but it's hardly tentacles, so she's not sure that's what the Doctor meant. So mostly she just looks confused.

Re: Chat Each Other Up

[dbiers.livejournal.com]

D flopped down on a cushion and put her head in her hands. "That was entirely too much mental trauma for one class."

Re: Chat Each Other Up

[multiplez]

"Oh, God, am I supposed to chat you up now?"

Re: Chat Each Other Up

[moonbrain-tam.livejournal.com]

What came natural to River right now was hiding under a desk. There were translucent friends in class. The lecture had forever given her the wrong associations about tentacles. She wondered if poking her hand through a transparent person counted as sex, but the idea felt quite disurbing.

Re: Chat Each Other Up

[absolutesnark]

Summer blinked a lot in confusion during the lecture. Now, she was waiting for someone to pair up with.

Re: Chat Each Other Up

[stykera]

Stark hadn't so much been blinking in confusion as trying not to imagine certain aliens he knew engaging in certain acts that may or may not have been described. He was also trying not to flail at the thought of those thoughts, trying, but not necessarily succeeding.

"Did not need to think of that," he said to no one in particular, though Summer seemed to be closest. "Really."

Re: Chat Each Other Up

[absolutesnark]

"I am so with you on that," Summer agreed, nodding.

Re: Chat Each Other Up

[lovelylana.livejournal.com]

Lana signed in and couldn't help thinking about Han and his definitely non-standard human physiology. And how that was something she should probably never discuss with Jim.

She was cold and kept ending up sitting through the pillows.

Re: Chat Each Other Up

[tatooine-doofus.livejournal.com]

Luke turned huge, huge eyes towards Lana. "Tell me that's not Han Solo," he begged, holding out a slightly see-through hand. "Please."

Re: Chat Each Other Up

[lovelylana.livejournal.com]

Lana's eyes got huge themselves. "Han? Oh my God, how did you know? Can you read minds too?"

Re: Chat Each Other Up

[izzyalienqueen.livejournal.com]

Isabel had run back to her room between classes to check on Greg. He was still sleeping and if possible, a little less substantial. Worried, Isabel planned on hitting the library after class.

Then she looked around for a partner and saw a mostly transparent and very unhappy looking Jack. "Oh crap," Isabel muttered, sinking down to sit next to him. "Are you okay?"

Re: Chat Each Other Up

[anextimeagent.livejournal.com]

He was freezing, he was exhausted, and he was starting to be scared again. "Not really. Izzy?" he asked, drawing his knees up in front of him and looking thoroughly miserable. "Don't take this the wrong way, but can I sit inside you?"

Re: Chat Each Other Up

[izzyalienqueen.livejournal.com]

"Oh sweetie," she murmured, trying to rub his shoulder and frowning when her hand went through him. "Why do you need to sit inside me? I think that's taking the Doctor's project a bit too far don't you?" Isabel teased to cover her worry.

Re: Chat Each Other Up

[twohalvesofaphd.livejournal.com]

After shivering throughout the lecture, Zack sat in his cushion and looked for a partner.

Re: Chat Each Other Up

[the-right-ray.livejournal.com]

Ray wandered up and said, "Wanna pair up?"

Re: Chat Each Other Up

[twohalvesofaphd.livejournal.com]

"Sure," Zack said. "Since I'm already somewhat intangible, I guess I'm going to be the one with tentacles?"

Re: Chat Each Other Up

[slr-mercury.livejournal.com]

Ami? Very confused and not paying attention. She'd rather be back at the library researching the attacks.

Re: Chat Each Other Up

[sarcasm-guy.livejournal.com]

Sokka, moaning quietly and pitifully, sat down next to Ami.

"You don't have tentacles, do you?" he asked, and shuddered.

Re: Chat Each Other Up

[sonofdragons.livejournal.com]

Tannim? Bright pink and trying not to think about certain creatures he'd seen on his brief trips Underhill.

Re: Chat Each Other Up

[moonbrain-tam.livejournal.com]

Having managed to banish most of the tentacle related stuff from her mind, River approached an embarrassed looking boy she didn't know. "Hello?" she said. "Want to team up? Don't do things with tentacles though."

Re: Chat Each Other Up

[threeweapons.livejournal.com]

Alanna was seriously wishing she was one of the invisible people.