fandomhigh | Adventuring Survival Tactics, Period 4, A Classroom, 2/2/07

Today, the classroom had pillows. Lots and lots of pillows. The Doctor was standing, with a smug grin on his face. When everyone had gathered, he spoke.

"Sex. If you're going to get all righteous and uptight on me, you're officially excused out the door right now and you can go watch Davey and Goliath clips on YouTube or whatever it is you boring people do. Anyone leaving?"

He paused, just in case anyone did.

"Now this isn't your stupid and silly tab a into slot b lesson. That... well, frankly, that's boring. I'm sure Mr. Harkness could share his expertise for multiple, well, yes, I'm not here to talk about what two humans can do with their block and tackle, right? This is about what happens when you get really friendly with a nice blue girl with mandibles or a scaly fellow who doesn't have lips. So now, please bear with me."

And then the doctor launched into a lengthy lecture. With gestures. Dolls and bizzare plushies as Visual aids. And some possibly psychologically scarring content about what one does with horns, mandibles, scales, tails, and, of course, tentacles.

"So now, pair up, one of you pretend to be a creature with different physiology, and chat each other up. If you need some ideas, there's some ~~tentacle porn~~ magazines under some of the pillows. No actual sex in my classroom, please. I'd get sacked, and that would be a bad thing. So... go ahead and do what comes naturally, eh?"

[ooc: ~~Wait for~~ OCD is up, my friends.]

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Summer blinked a lot in confusion during the lecture. Now, she was waiting for someone to pair up with.

Stark hadn't so much been blinking in confusion as trying not to imagine certain aliens he knew engaging in certain acts that may or may not have been described. He was also trying not to flail at the thought of those thoughts, trying, but not necessarily succeeding.

"Did not need to think of that," he said to no one in particular, though Summer seemed to be closest. "Really."

"I am so with you on that," Summer agreed, nodding.

"Good. Good. Maybe nobody needed to think that. There are some things that don't need to be thought, ever." Stark nodded vigorously for a moment.

"Would you like a partner? I'm already an alien, if that helps."

"I really agree," Summer replied, grinning at Stark. "Sure, I could use a partner. I'm Summer, by the way. I don't think we've met before."

"I'm Stark. I don't remember meeting you, either. So maybe we never did."

Stark paused. "Um. So."

"So what kind of alien are you?" Summer asked curiously.

"Banik," Stark said. "Which you've never heard of, I'm sure. Nobody here has, except the ones who have."

"Well, now I have too," Summer said. "So what's with the Phantom of the Opera look? Not that there's anything wrong with that, really. It's a nice mask..."

She really should work on that speaking before thinking thing.

"I don't have that half of my face," Stark answered, very matter-of-fact. "I glow," he added, very helpfully.

"Can I ask something? Everyone says that, the Phantom thing. And I keep meaning to find out about it and I never do. Is it a book? Or a movie? I know he has a white mask, and a cape, but only because someone told me that for Halloween. But I don't know anything else."

"You glow?" Summer repeated. "Phantom of the Opera is a musical. I think it might have been a book first? Those things usually are."

"I glow," Stark confirmed. "Under the mask. Alien, like I said. People think it's weird usually, here. But some people like it." Yes, he was grinning a little wickedly at the end there.

"That's cool that some people like it. Means they are pretty accepting..." Then Summer realized just what he meant by that. "Oh my god. Ew!"

"Sorry, sorry," Stark said quickly. "Shouldn't have said that. Sorry."

Yes, he was one smooth alien. For reals.

"It's okay," Summer replied. "Just don't do it again."

Or there could be rage blackouts involved, but she didn't say that out loud.

"I won't," Stark promised. Well, unless he forgot. But he probably wouldn't. Then he grinned again. "I blame the Doctor. He's setting a terrible example today."

Summer grinned as well. "Blaming the teacher works for me."

"Good." Stark nodded again. "So. Um. Now what?"

"We try hitting on each other?" Summer said, shrugging.

"Are you just going to ew at me again?" Stark asked warily.

"I...will try not to," Summer promised.

"Okay." Stark wasn't sure about all this. "Um."

Again, so smooth.

"Um." Yeah, Summer really wasn't sure about this either. She never tried to hit on an alien before.

"I don't do this often. At all," Stark said. And when he did, the other party was usually a lot more...blue.

Adventuring Survival Tactics, Period 4, A Classroom, 2/2/07

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