fandomhigh | Adventuring Survival Tactics, Period 4, A Classroom, 2/2/07

Today, the classroom had pillows. Lots and lots of pillows. The Doctor was standing, with a smug grin on his face. When everyone had gathered, he spoke.

"Sex. If you're going to get all righteous and uptight on me, you're officially excused out the door right now and you can go watch Davey and Goliath clips on YouTube or whatever it is you boring people do. Anyone leaving?"

He paused, just in case anyone did.

"Now this isn't your stupid and silly tab a into slot b lesson. That... well, frankly, that's boring. I'm sure Mr. Harkness could share his expertise for multiple, well, yes, I'm not here to talk about what two humans can do with their block and tackle, right? This is about what happens when you get really friendly with a nice blue girl with mandibles or a scaly fellow who doesn't have lips. So now, please bear with me."

And then the doctor launched into a lengthy lecture. With gestures. Dolls and bizzare plushies as Visual aids. And some possibly psychologically scarring content about what one does with horns, mandibles, scales, tails, and, of course, tentacles.

"So now, pair up, one of you pretend to be a creature with different physiology, and chat each other up. If you need some ideas, there's some ~~tentacle porn~~ magazines under some of the pillows. No actual sex in my classroom, please. I'd get sacked, and that would be a bad thing. So... go ahead and do what comes naturally, eh?"

[ooc: ~~Wait for~~ OCD is up, my friends.]

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"Well, I normally go for dancing girls with head-tails," Lukey the Hutt said, "but I think with the right outfit you'll fit right in down at my secret lair of debauchery."

Quite the ladies' man, Lukey the Hutt.

"Oooh, a secret lair of debauchery! I've always wanted to dance at a secret lair of debauchery!" Lana exclaimed. "And are there any, um... perks to being one of your dancing girls? If you know what I mean?"

Luke let out his deepest, most Hutt-y "heh, heh, heh."

"Indeed," he said. "We Hutts have quite a reputation for the things we can do with our tongues."

He broke character for a second. "Ewww. I'm sorry."

"Ewww..." Lana echoed and then laughed. "Okay, that's an image I didn't really need."

She gathered herself together and tried to get back into character. "Oooh, that sounds lovely!"

And giggled again as she shook her head. "Okay, this is soooo bad."

"Tell me about it," Luke said, giggling too. "The mental image is scarring me."

He waggled his eyebrows. "So come on back to my secret lair and I'll give you a personal fitting for your dancing girl outfit...with my tiny, tiny arms. Huh."

Lana lost it at that and burst into laughter. "With your tiny, tiny arms," she repeated through the laughter. "Oh God, that is just too funny!"

Luke grinned. "They're slugs with arms. Big, fat, drooly slugs with tiny little arms. I don't get the appeal."

He raised an eyebrow. "But you're the dancing girl. Maybe you can explain it."

Lana shuddered again, even as she laughed. "No appeal at all. At least not for me."

She raised her own eyebrow at him and grinned. "This dancing girl prefers far more humanoid seeming partners."

Luke's cheeks went pink. "We'll just leave the Hutts to the other Hutts, then," he decided.

Adventuring Survival Tactics, Period 4, A Classroom, 2/2/07

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