fandomhigh | Adventuring Survival Tactics, Period 4, A Classroom, 2/2/07

Today, the classroom had pillows. Lots and lots of pillows. The Doctor was standing, with a smug grin on his face. When everyone had gathered, he spoke.

"Sex. If you're going to get all righteous and uptight on me, you're officially excused out the door right now and you can go watch Davey and Goliath clips on YouTube or whatever it is you boring people do. Anyone leaving?"

He paused, just in case anyone did.

"Now this isn't your stupid and silly tab a into slot b lesson. That... well, frankly, that's boring. I'm sure Mr. Harkness could share his expertise for multiple, well, yes, I'm not here to talk about what two humans can do with their block and tackle, right? This is about what happens when you get really friendly with a nice blue girl with mandibles or a scaly fellow who doesn't have lips. So now, please bear with me."

And then the doctor launched into a lengthy lecture. With gestures. Dolls and bizzare plushies as Visual aids. And some possibly psychologically scarring content about what one does with horns, mandibles, scales, tails, and, of course, tentacles.

"So now, pair up, one of you pretend to be a creature with different physiology, and chat each other up. If you need some ideas, there's some ~~tentacle porn~~ magazines under some of the pillows. No actual sex in my classroom, please. I'd get sacked, and that would be a bad thing. So... go ahead and do what comes naturally, eh?"

[ooc: ~~Wait for~~ OCD is up, my friends.]

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"Right. Sex," Tannim said. He glanced down at the magazine he was still clutching, and he wondered what the snake tail sex felt like. "Oh, did you get a chance to look at it?" he asked, offering her the magazine.

River shook her head. "Not necessary. I think you need to do some tail-tickling." She couldn't help grinning at that, as it seemed quite... sweet.

Not necessary? "Oh my god, have you actually done this?" he blurted out.

"No. But I'm beginning to wish I had," she said, looking completely serious. "I read your mind."

Tannim stared at her. "Seriously?" One of the more... interesting images that his imagination had provided returned to the forefront of his mind. He flailed mentally and tried to push it away. Music! he thought desperately, trying to find a song to replace the very graphic images in his brain.

You and me baby ain't nothing but mammals/Let's do it like they do on the Discovery Channel.

Yeah, not helping.

River smiled happily. "I think you've got the idea. Use that imagination and we'll manage this assignment perfectly."

Put your hand/Down my pants/And I bet you'll feel nuts

Tannim stared at her, then grabbed his notebook. "I need to go," he said, and fled.

River watched him go, suddenly feeling very much alone. This had actually been fun.

Adventuring Survival Tactics, Period 4, A Classroom, 2/2/07

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