fandomhigh | Adventuring Survival Tactics, Period 4, A Classroom, 2/2/07

Today, the classroom had pillows. Lots and lots of pillows. The Doctor was standing, with a smug grin on his face. When everyone had gathered, he spoke.

"Sex. If you're going to get all righteous and uptight on me, you're officially excused out the door right now and you can go watch Davey and Goliath clips on YouTube or whatever it is you boring people do. Anyone leaving?"

He paused, just in case anyone did.

"Now this isn't your stupid and silly tab a into slot b lesson. That... well, frankly, that's boring. I'm sure Mr. Harkness could share his expertise for multiple, well, yes, I'm not here to talk about what two humans can do with their block and tackle, right? This is about what happens when you get really friendly with a nice blue girl with mandibles or a scaly fellow who doesn't have lips. So now, please bear with me."

And then the doctor launched into a lengthy lecture. With gestures. Dolls and bizzare plushies as Visual aids. And some possibly psychologically scarring content about what one does with horns, mandibles, scales, tails, and, of course, tentacles.

"So now, pair up, one of you pretend to be a creature with different physiology, and chat each other up. If you need some ideas, there's some ~~tentacle porn~~ magazines under some of the pillows. No actual sex in my classroom, please. I'd get sacked, and that would be a bad thing. So... go ahead and do what comes naturally, eh?"

[ooc: ~~Wait for~~ OCD is up, my friends.]

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Luke turned huge, huge eyes towards Lana. "Tell me that's not Han Solo," he begged, holding out a slightly see-through hand. "Please."

Lana's eyes got huge themselves. "Han? Oh my God, how did you know? Can you read minds too?"

"I didn't mean to," Luke whined. "Oh, I'll never be able to look at him again."

Lana tried desperately to think of something, anything else. Grilled cheese sandwiches, books, rainbows. But finally she just resorted to 'lalalalala'-ing in her head.

Luke looked incredibly grateful. "Hi," he said. "This is the most awkward introduction ever, huh? I'm Luke."

"Lana," Lana said, feeling utterly mortified. "And I'm... yes really awkward intro. Sorry. I had no idea anyone here could, well, you know."

"It's a recent development," Luke said, still very, very pink in the face. "I'm sooo sorry."

"It's okay," Lana said, still incredibly red herself. "Just really, really unexpected. And maybe we could never ever mention it? Like ever? And pretend we just now randomly met for no reason at all?"

Luke nodded his head hard. "Perfect." He stuck his hand out. "Hello, random person who I'm picking for a partner in class. I'm Luke Skywalker."

"Hello random person, now to be known as Luke. I'm Lana Lang. Very nice to meet you." She smiled at him a little weakly and tried to shake his hand, but hers went right through his. "Sorry, I'm not exactly all here somehow. Which sounds a lot more funny than it feels."

Luke made a face and stopped concentrating as hard as he had been. He immediately went all misty too. "Yeah, I get it. Stupid Fandom."

Lana couldn't help shivering even more. "Was it shadows?" she asked. "They attacked me in the bookstore yesterday. This is the first time I dared leave my room and my boyfriend. And that's only 'cause I didn't want to miss the Doctor's class."

Luke nodded, pulling his robe around himself. "They attacked me in my room...which is probably not what you wanted to hear, huh?"

Lana shivered again. "No. Really, not so much. Are there others who've been attacked? I thought maybe it was some fluke thing about the bookstore."

[OOC: And must crash now. 2 AM, sorry. Continue when I'm up again?]

"I saw a few others like this in third period," Luke said, "so it's not just us. I think Cameron'd put up a poster about it. I didn't stop to read."

[OOC: Slowplay is great! Sleep well!]

Lana nodded. "I don't know if it's reassuring to know I'm not alone or even more frightening."

"Reassuring," Luke decided. "With it being more than one person, all of the brain power in the school will be devoted to fixing us back."

"I hadn't thought of it that way," Lana said, "But of course you're right." She smiled at him. "So... who gets to be the alien to chat up?"

Luke grinned. "I can do it. I've seen enough non-humanoid types to be able to play a convincing Hutt, I suppose."

Lana made a little face. "Hutts... I saw a picture of one once. Definitely creepy alien. Anyway..." she batted her eyes at him. "Hey, good looking."

"Blergh," Luke replied, eyes sparkling as he stretched out on a pillow.

He paused. "There should be more drool, probably. But you can imagine that part. I'm not getting that into my role."

"Ew..." Lana said with a little shudder. "Yes, please don't. And I think I'll just pretend I'm imagining it. Um... so... What's a wonderfully slimy guy like you doing in a place like this?"

"Looking for beautiful women like yourself, of course," Luke replied with a smile. "I could use a good dancing girl. Interested?"

"Really?" Lana smiled at him. "I do love to dance. Do you think I'd make a good dancing girl?"

"Well, I normally go for dancing girls with head-tails," Lukey the Hutt said, "but I think with the right outfit you'll fit right in down at my secret lair of debauchery."

Quite the ladies' man, Lukey the Hutt.

Re: Chat Each Other Up

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