The Kludge's Guide to the Universe | Dangershop, Wednesday Afternoon (Week 1)

[theharperisgood.livejournal.com]

The danger-shop was set up to look like a cluttered workshop, every available surface covered in futuristic looking junk. Harper sat with his feet up on a bench tapping at a control pad and drinking from a can of Sparky's.

"Good afternoon class," Harper said, taking a sip of his cola. "Just find somewhere to take a seat and we'll get started."

After the class had found somewhere to sit or lean, he stood up.

"My name is Seamus Zelazny Harper," he said. "You can call me Harper. Now I could give this big inspiring Dylan-like speech about the universe, chaos and how we must and really, all you need to know can be condensed into two sentences." Harper held up two fingers.

"The universe hates you. Deal with it.

"And how to successfully deal with it is what you're going to be learning to do over the next few weeks, " Harper said. "And trust me, I've done more than my fair share of dealing with it.

"One important thing to realise is that just because the universe hates you, not everyone in the universe does too. In fact sometimes the only thing standing between you and a horrible painful demise is a group of friends not willing to give up on you. So to start with we'll be doing a number of team-building exercises." Harper grinned. "Of course, since the universe does hate you, and it's been my experience that nothing builds a team faster than your own impending demise, they aren't your regular team building exercises.

"But we'll just start off slow with some introductions."


[ooc: OCD threads coming are up! Post away!]
[Workshop Information]

Comments

Sign In (Kludge- Wk1)

[theharperisgood.livejournal.com]

Make the thread collapse!

Re: Sign In (Kludge- Wk1)

[apocalypsesoon.livejournal.com]

John Connor

During the Lecture (Kludge - Wk1)

[theharperisgood.livejournal.com]

Talk, pass notes, fiddle with Harper's junk not dirty.

Introductions (Kludge - Wk1)

[theharperisgood.livejournal.com]

"Just tell the class your name and why, other than good taste, you took this workshop."

Re: Introductions (Kludge - Wk1)

[apocalypsesoon.livejournal.com]

"I'm John Connor. I took this workshop to handle the crap I know is coming to me."

Re: Introductions (Kludge - Wk1)

[cameronmitchell.livejournal.com]

"I'm Cameron Mitchell and I signed up because it seemed pretty useful to know how to not get killed out there," Cameron said.

Re: Introductions (Kludge - Wk1)

[janet_fraiser]

"My name is Janet Fraiser, and I signed up for this workshop because the universe isn't always a friendly place."

Re: Introductions (Kludge - Wk1)

[whitedeathpod.livejournal.com]

"I'm John and I took this class because, if Fandom can throw zombies and snow monsters at us, I fear the real world."

Re: Introductions (Kludge - Wk1)

[multi-madrox.livejournal.com]

"I'm Jamie Madrox and I just wanted to know what the hell a Kludge was."

Re: Introductions (Kludge - Wk1)

[fatalvoyage.livejournal.com]

"I'm Tempe Brennan, and I signed up for this workshop because, um, the description sounded interesting. Oh, and I know nothing about surviving on any planet except this one, and even then it's a little iffy."

Re: Introductions (Kludge - Wk1)

[bruiser-in-pink.livejournal.com]

"I'm Molly Hayes and I signed up for this class because it sounded interesting."

Re: Introductions (Kludge - Wk1)

[thenamesxander.livejournal.com]

"The name's Xander. Xander Bly. And I took this workshop because I've already had my illusions about the real world painfully shattered, so it can't hurt to learn more about what's *really* out there."

Re: Introductions (Kludge - Wk1)

[notcalledlizzie.livejournal.com]

"I'm Elizabeth Weir, and I took this class because I figured it can never hurt to learn more about a potentially hostile environment."

Re: Introductions (Kludge - Wk1)

[bigfat-peter.livejournal.com]

"I'm Peter Griffin and I took this class so I could not get my ass kicked by the universe."

Re: Introductions (Kludge - Wk1)

[carter-i-am.livejournal.com]

"I'm Sam Carter, and I'm here because chaos is an absolute truth and extra intergalactic survival tactics never go to waste."

Re: Introductions (Kludge - Wk1)

[can_be_more]

"Aeryn Sun. I'm here because... I'm just frelling here, deal with it."

Re: Introductions (Kludge - Wk1)

[mmmanchovies.livejournal.com]

"I'm Fry. I came for the cookies. There are cookies, right? Oh, and I used to work for an intergalactic delivery service called Planet Express and figure I can use learny stuff to not get eaten by space bees when I go back. There are cookies, right?"

Nitro Stick! (Kludge - Wk1)

[theharperisgood.livejournal.com]

"Now that introductions are out of the way I want you to stand in two lines, facing each other, and extend your index finger out towards the middle."" Harper held up a thin metal rod and balanced it on the outstretched fingers."This is a Nitro Stick (http://www.wilderdom.com/games/descriptions/HeliumStick.html). Very unstable, very powerful explosive, reacts badly to any sort of pressure.

"Now, I want you to lower it to the ground. Your fingers must be in contact with the stick at all times, but if you hold or pinch it…boom."

Re: Nitro Stick! (Kludge - Wk1)

[janet_fraiser]

"I don't normally deal with explosives," said Janet, looking very unhappy. "I'm not a front lines kind of gal."

Re: Nitro Stick! (Kludge - Wk1)

[multi-madrox.livejournal.com]

Jamie looked at the stick balancing on his finger. "Um. And the point of handling explosives is?"

Mines! (Kludge - Wk1)

[theharperisgood.livejournal.com]

"Okay, I need you to split into pairs. After you've done that choose one person to wear one of the blindfolds provided," Harper clapped his hands together, before tapping his controller. The workshop was replaced by a large room, filled with a number of floating objects of various shapes, sizes and heights. "Those objects are mines (http://www.wilderdom.com/games/descriptions/Minefield.html), the object of this exercise is for the one without the blindfold to guide the one with the blindfold across the room without getting caught. Then you'll swap."

Re: Mines! (Kludge - Wk1)

[multi-madrox.livejournal.com]

Jamie stood in front of the minefield holding a blindfold. Somehow before this workshop was over he was pretty sure there'd either be dozen of him or he'd be unconscious with a dozen other versions of him debating what to do next.

Nova Bomb! (Kludge - Wk1)

[theharperisgood.livejournal.com]

Harper fiddled with the controller again, now, instead of the floating mines, there was a emitting a blue glow approximately ten feet across.

"That object over there is a Nova Bomb core (http://www.wilderdom.com/games/descriptions/ToxicWaste.html), back home , unfortunately that one over there is faulty and it'll go critical in about…" Harper checked his watch. "Half an hour. That is unless you can get it into that containment unit up the other end of the room.

"However, you see that blue glow? Very nasty form of radiation, touch it and well, the results aren't too pretty, or survivable. And the only thing you guys have to move it are these cables and hooks. Also you drop the core, or let it get too unstable? We all die.

"Have fun!"

Re: Nova Bomb! (Kludge - Wk1)

[bruiser-in-pink.livejournal.com]

"I suppose one person sacrificing themselves for the good of the group isn't an option, is it?" Molly asked.

Talk to Harper (Kludge - Wk1)

[theharperisgood.livejournal.com]

He'll listen!

After Class (Kludge - Wk1)

[theharperisgood.livejournal.com]

You survived (to a greater or lesser degree) the first class, have a Sparky on Harper!

Re: After Class (Kludge - Wk1)

[cheerfulgoth.livejournal.com]

The pigtailed blur that darted in and made off with a couple of cans of Sparky could have been the computers teacher. Or it could just be a figment of your over-caffienated imagination.

OOC (Kludge - Wk1)

[theharperisgood.livejournal.com]

*thuds*

Re: OOC (Kludge - Wk1)

[whitedeathpod.livejournal.com]

Aeryn's player is still without internets. Not sure when she'll be able to sign in.