Retail 101, Monday morning, All and Sundries

[blackadder-nth.livejournal.com]

The shop is closed for the duration of the workshop and Edmund has assumed without checking that the students would have figured out that they would be going to a retail establishment for a course titled Retail 101.

If they didn't? Well, he's in a good mood, perhaps he'll consider detention rather than making students hose Baldrick down and scrub him off with a broom. Clothed of course - even Edmund wasn't so cruel as to expect anyone to see Baldrick sans trousers.



"My name," he said, "is Edmund Blackadder the Third. This workshop is Retail 101: The Tongue is Mightier than the Sword. If you are not here for this workshop, now would be the time for you to piss off."

Edmund waited for any potential off pissing before continuing. "The key to retail is interacting with customers. But none of this touchy feely 21st century 'the customer is always right' rot. The customer is not only not always right - the customer is quite often completely wrong and stupid as well.

"This workshop is to teach you to deal with those customers without losing your mind - how to put them in their places, how to amuse yourself when you cannot, and how, upon occasion, to do the appropriate kowtowing for a well-heeled, or well-armed client.

"Today, I will be assessing your current skill level. I want each of you to pair up with another student." Edmund smiled the sort of smile you might expect to see in a dark alley on the wrong side of something shiny and very, very sharp. "As we have an odd number of students on the roster, one of you lucky souls will get to pair up with me.

"You will each take a turn behind the register as Clerk, while the other student takes a turn as Customer. Customer, your job is to attempt to pay for your purchase with these," he held up a stack of poker chips. "Clerk, your job is to explain, in whatever manner you find appropriate, that All and Sundries only accepts valid currency."

Edmund stood up and moved aside to allow the first pair to take their turn. "While you are waiting your turn, feel free to get some practice in, chat up the student of the gender of your preference, or familiarize yourself with the store's inventory - there will be a test."

[ooc: No, Edmund won't actually make anyone bathe Baldrick, although volunteers would never be turned away.]

Comments

Show your skill

[blackadder-nth.livejournal.com]

Take turns as both customer and clerk. Show us your skills.

Re: Show your skill

[chasingsnitches.livejournal.com]

Cedric sets himself up as the clerk, trying to look approachable and knowledgeable.

Re: Show your skill

[twohalvesofaphd.livejournal.com]

Zack wandered up to Cedric. "Hello, I'd like to purchase this selection of highly expensive items."

Re: Show your skill

[chasingsnitches.livejournal.com]

"Good choice, sir," Cedric says and rings the items up. Your total comes to..." He looks at the receipt before telling Zack the total. "How will you be paying, sir?"

Re: Show your skill

[twohalvesofaphd.livejournal.com]

"With these," Zack handed over a stack of poker chips. "That should be enough."

Re: Show your skill

[chasingsnitches.livejournal.com]

Cedric laughs, thinking Zack's making a joke. "Very funny, sir."

Re: Show your skill

[twohalvesofaphd.livejournal.com]

"What do you mean?" Zack frowned. "Aren't there enough chips?"

Re: Show your skill

[chasingsnitches.livejournal.com]

"I don't believe we accept chips here, sir." Cedric nods and glances at the chips. "Perhaps another method of payment?"

Re: Show your skill

[twohalvesofaphd.livejournal.com]

"What's wrong with my chips?" Zack asked, crossing his arms. "They're worth the price of the goods."

Re: Show your skill

[willbedone.livejournal.com]

Willow took her turn pretending to be a clerk. She tried several poses, not sure which one truly conveyed clerkish behavior.

Re: Show your skill

[lovechildblair.livejournal.com]

Blair placed a candy bar on the counter. "Hello person I don't know! I'd like to buy this product."

Re: Show your skill

[willbedone.livejournal.com]

"Hello, person who is also a stranger to me," Willow replied. "This is a very good day for you because I would like to sell you this product, for I am a clerk and must fulfill my clerkish destiny."

Re: Show your skill

[lovechildblair.livejournal.com]

"Right on, man. Destiny must be fulfilled, even if it means that you have to work for The Man to do so." Blair jingled his pockets and the sound of poker chips could be heard. "Let's get on with the exhanging of goods and money, shall we? I've got an important day of consumerism ahead of me."

Re: Show your skill

[willbedone.livejournal.com]

"By all means," Willow replied. "How would you like to pay for your purchase of this fine candy? Also would you like paper or plastic, though I'm not totally sure if that's a question for someone of my job description or if I've just been very mean and taken poor Mr. Baldrick's job."

Re: Show your skill

[lovechildblair.livejournal.com]

"I think that I need neither paper nor plastic for my purchase since my rampant consumerism also makes me greedy and impatient. I think I will be unable to control myself and probably eat this candy bar on the spot directly after purchasing." Blair dug into his pocket and withdrew a handful of poker chips. "I've chosen these small colorful discs to give you today. Would you like red, green or white?"

Re: Show your skill

[willbedone.livejournal.com]

"Normally I would like all three, because those are Italian colors and I've recently proven myself very adept at picking winning football teams," Willow said. "But unfortunately I'm not allowed to take those in exchange for candy. Do you have something in more of a money shape?"

Re: Show your skill

[lovechildblair.livejournal.com]

"Viva Italia!" Blair smiled. "In fact, because of the recent football win, today has been declared Italy day and all the world's money has been changed to these festive and represenative colors. You are in the midst of making history, Clerk! You don't want to stand in the way of history, do you?"

Re: Show your skill

[bigfat-peter.livejournal.com]

Peter dropped some (invisible) items in front of Jaye. "Yeah, I'd like to buy these. And that Playboy isn't for me, it's uh for my...wife?"

Re: Show your skill

[fates_jaye]

"Yeah, explains a lot," says Jaye, vaguely pretending to ring it up. "That'll be... whatever the hell amount it's supposed to be."

Re: Show your skill

[bigfat-peter.livejournal.com]

Peter sits down the poker chips. "Here ya go little lady."

Re: Show your skill

[fates_jaye]

"Aw, how nice, a present. Now fork over the cash, bucko."

Re: Show your skill

[bigfat-peter.livejournal.com]

Peter looked confused. "I just gave it to you."

Re: Show your skill

[fates_jaye]

"That's not real money. You give me real money, you get the stuff."

Re: Show your skill

[bigfat-peter.livejournal.com]

"Excuse me miss, but this is real money." says Peter "I was watching TV last night and some guy bet 5,000 dollars worth of these things during a card game."

Re: Show your skill

[fates_jaye]

"No, this is fake money. After that card game, they trade it in for the real money, because no reputable business will actually take this crap," Jaye says.