Retail 101, Monday morning, All and Sundries

[blackadder-nth.livejournal.com]

The shop is closed for the duration of the workshop and Edmund has assumed without checking that the students would have figured out that they would be going to a retail establishment for a course titled Retail 101.

If they didn't? Well, he's in a good mood, perhaps he'll consider detention rather than making students hose Baldrick down and scrub him off with a broom. Clothed of course - even Edmund wasn't so cruel as to expect anyone to see Baldrick sans trousers.



"My name," he said, "is Edmund Blackadder the Third. This workshop is Retail 101: The Tongue is Mightier than the Sword. If you are not here for this workshop, now would be the time for you to piss off."

Edmund waited for any potential off pissing before continuing. "The key to retail is interacting with customers. But none of this touchy feely 21st century 'the customer is always right' rot. The customer is not only not always right - the customer is quite often completely wrong and stupid as well.

"This workshop is to teach you to deal with those customers without losing your mind - how to put them in their places, how to amuse yourself when you cannot, and how, upon occasion, to do the appropriate kowtowing for a well-heeled, or well-armed client.

"Today, I will be assessing your current skill level. I want each of you to pair up with another student." Edmund smiled the sort of smile you might expect to see in a dark alley on the wrong side of something shiny and very, very sharp. "As we have an odd number of students on the roster, one of you lucky souls will get to pair up with me.

"You will each take a turn behind the register as Clerk, while the other student takes a turn as Customer. Customer, your job is to attempt to pay for your purchase with these," he held up a stack of poker chips. "Clerk, your job is to explain, in whatever manner you find appropriate, that All and Sundries only accepts valid currency."

Edmund stood up and moved aside to allow the first pair to take their turn. "While you are waiting your turn, feel free to get some practice in, chat up the student of the gender of your preference, or familiarize yourself with the store's inventory - there will be a test."

[ooc: No, Edmund won't actually make anyone bathe Baldrick, although volunteers would never be turned away.]

Comments

Re: Show your skill

[chasingsnitches.livejournal.com]

"You're an extremely rude little man," Cedric snaps.

Re: Show your skill

[twohalvesofaphd.livejournal.com]

"And you are trying to commit fraud, and failing miserably."

Re: Show your skill

[chasingsnitches.livejournal.com]

"I need cheese!" Cedric snaps. "It's prescribed. If you can't take my money, can I take the cheese and come back and pay you?"

Re: Show your skill

[twohalvesofaphd.livejournal.com]

"Go to the clinic then," Zack replied. "For we do not extend credit here."

Re: Show your skill

[chasingsnitches.livejournal.com]

"That's very discrminatory of you," Cedric seethes. "Expecting all customers to have the same method of payment. This is unacceptable."

Re: Show your skill

[twohalvesofaphd.livejournal.com]

"I'm afraid you'll have to take taht up with the federal reserve, they're the ones who decide what counts as legal tender in this country and by extension, this store."

Re: Show your skill

[chasingsnitches.livejournal.com]

"Don't lecture me," Cedric says, snatching up his poker chips. "You're lucky I don't turn you into a frog."

Re: Show your skill

[twohalvesofaphd.livejournal.com]

"Sorry, but I'm afraid the management does not appreciate Acts of Frog."

Re: Show your skill

[chasingsnitches.livejournal.com]

"No one will ever marry you," he snaps once more before stalking off.

Re: Show your skill

[twohalvesofaphd.livejournal.com]

Zack waved at Cedric's back. "Thank you, come again."

Re: Show your skill

[chasingsnitches.livejournal.com]

"You're good," Cedric says, coming back and dropping the poker chips.

Re: Show your skill

[twohalvesofaphd.livejournal.com]

"Thanks," Zack said. "The frog threat was a nice touch."

Re: Show your skill

[chasingsnitches.livejournal.com]

"Thanks," he answers. "And I don't really like cheese this much. Ten pounds would make me ill."

Re: Show your skill

[twohalvesofaphd.livejournal.com]

"You might have been having a cheese-tasting party or something," Zack said. "Or knew someone with cravings."

Re: Show your skill

[chasingsnitches.livejournal.com]

"True," he says, nodding. "But carrying ten pounds of cheese in the summer heat would be rather smelly."

Re: Show your skill

[twohalvesofaphd.livejournal.com]

"Yes, it would." Zack totally didn't look like he was getting ideas just in case the stickbugs tried anything clever.