fandomhigh | Sexual Education [06/22]

When the students arrived at the Main Campfire for their Sex Ed workshop, they may have noticed something a little different. The instructor was less monochrome than normal. And more masculine. And he had significantly less hair.

"Hey, kids. Becky couldn't be here today, so I'm your sub. My name is GOB Bluth and I run Caritas; where you can all come and get trashed before doing what you learn today to each other. Everyone who signs in today gets their next drink at half price. Talk to Tino at the bar about that." Tino was, of course, still on strike and nowhere to be found to talk to about this kind of thing.

"Anyway, today we're going to watch a video then have a question and answer session because, honestly, I know way too much about sex to sum it up in an afternoon." He didn't, really. "So it'll be Q&A bulletpoints."

"Okay, watch the video and try not to get someone pregnant during it." But if you did, you'd have an excellent story to tell your child someday.

[OOC: The video (in two parts) is NSFW, obviously, but not in the way you may expect. Q&A can be about anything, video-related or not. I will not be answering any questions during the day because, well, this class really isn't the smartest thing to read at work. Also, my computer there might be dead. Whatever. ~~Wait for~~ OCD is up.

If anyone wants a detention for any reason, let me know in the OOC thread.]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Ask GOB anything about sex. He will answer it truthfully. Unless he lies. Or makes something up. Or dodges the question.

"Was this the current educational material when you were a teenager, Mr. Bluth?"

"God, no," GOB said. "I wasn't even born yet. I got the hippie crap."

"Oh." Walter shrugged. "You looked old enough."

"Yeah, well, you're an idiot. Next question," GOB said.

"Have you ever gotten someone pregnant while watching a sex ed video?"

Re: Q&A [WS5]

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Pippi raised her hand.

"The video seemed to cut off at the end there Mr. Bluth. What's a period?"

"It's a thing women deal with at the end of a sentence," GOB said, ducking that question as best he could. "Next question!"

Pippi thought about how the runty kid wasn't good at anything.

"So boys aren't good at sports until they hit puberty?"

"Some boys are. Others just think they're good and look like jerks," GOB said.

"Does it help make them better athletes to show them diagrams?"

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Fry raised his hand. "So, what. I don't get it. Guys grow because of something in their head? Is it a chip? Who put it in there? And was it just me, or did that coach guy have a.. you know.. while leaning over and talking to those kids?"

"God put it there. Or a monkey scientist. That depends on if you believe in the one thing or the other," GOB said. "But that's not for this workshop. This workshop is for the fact that the coach not only had a you know, but he ended up spending ten years in jail because of it." GOB had no idea if that was true, but it sounded like a good story to tell the kids.

"What the storage place for all the sperm called? Can it go bad if you leave it long enough? Dean seemed kind of worried about that," Alec asked on behalf of his double, helpfull pointing out Dean for GOB.

In an action born of reflexes developed over years of dealing with a snarking little brother, Dean reached over and whapped Alec in the back of the head.

Alec yelped in surprise and shot Dean a hurt look, rubbing at the back of his head. "Hey, just because you need some help, you don't have to get cranky."

"Cut it out, guys. I'm not a chick. I don't find twins beating each other up hot," GOB said. "Anyway, sperm is stored at the sperm bank, they're safe as long as they stay frozen, and you get money for donating. It's fun. Look into it."

"We're not related," Alec said, looking very interested all of a sudden. "And how much money?"

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Tyler raised his hand and tried to look innocent. "Do you think the video would have more educational merit if it had photographs rather than line drawings, sir?"

"Probably. But it was the fifties. They had weird issues with nudity," GOB said.

Tyler nodded. "But we're in 2006 now. It might help us to be more aware of natural variations in the body if we saw some real-life pictures."

"You can get that on the internet. Becky would threaten to kill me if I showed you porn," GOB said. "I just got her to stop doing that."

"You got her to stop showing you porn?" Tyler seemed confused. Perhaps he actually was.

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Cedric raises his hand.

"Was I the only one frightened by the coach?"

"No, I think we all were. And anyone who wasn't should see a shrink," GOB said.