How to be a Hired Gun - Monday Period Three

[notasalad.livejournal.com]

Somebody at the school office had thoughtfully provided Jayne with a list of activities that he should never do with students. They had also used small words so he could easily understand them. He decided that he was going to break at least one of those rules so today he chose to smoke a cigar

Consider yourself lucky kids.

When the students entered the danger shop, they'd no doubt notice that there were multiple people on horses wearing some odd cowboy costumes in a prairie type setting.

"Right. I'm Jayne. This class is how to be a hired gun slash mercenary," Jayne announced as he took a puff from his cigar. "And the most important thing about being a hired gun is to not get shot. So. These guys are going to shoot at you and I'm going to see how fast you can run and hide."

Jayne wasn't much for complicated lectures. Or activities.

Run kids!

Comments

Activity

[notasalad.livejournal.com]

Run! Dodge Bullets!

Safety locks are in place of course. Not that Jayne would know how to disable them.

Re: Activity

[gavegoodface]

Hey! Face had been shot at enough for one lifetime! At least when he couldn't shoot back.

So he'd be ducking, ducking like the wind!

Re: Activity

[notasalad.livejournal.com]

"Keep moving!" Jayne suggested. "Don't get shot in the ass. I'm not carrying anyone to the clinic."

Re: Activity

[gavegoodface]

"That's some helpful advice there," Face yelled back. In a perfect imitation of Jayne's accent, because some people had odd ways of dealing with stress. "Never would've thought of that."

Re: Activity

[notasalad.livejournal.com]

"You're welcome!" Jayne bellowed back.

The sarcasm was lost on Jayne. Sorry Face.

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[giveherahand]

Who used bullets any more?!

...er, Mara meant "Eek, eek, I'm being shot at!"

Being pretty tiny, she found something to hide behind and pretend like she was afraid of being hit. Mostly she looked annoyed.

Re: Activity

[notasalad.livejournal.com]

Hey now! Bullets were awesome!

"Good use of terrain!" Jayne called out as he lit up another cigar.

Re: Activity

[giveherahand]

"Thank you!" Mara called back, looking for something to trip one of the people on horseback.

Hiding was all very well, but having your own weapon was much, much better.

Re: Activity

[doesnotkneel]

... "What the bloody-- what is it with you lot?!"

Edward was scrambling. Up a roof, in fact.

Re: Activity

[notasalad.livejournal.com]

"Being shot at builds character!" Jayne shouted back with a laugh.

He was enjoying this a little too much.

Re: Activity

[doesnotkneel]

"No, it bloody well doesn't!" Edward yelled back.

He'd appreciate the practice a couple of years from now when this became a regular staple of his life?

Re: Activity

[abitlowkey]

Loki had found himself a safe position and had pulled out his phone to take a selfie with 'first day of school and already being shot at' added to it.

Odindamnit, Loki.

Re: Activity

[notasalad.livejournal.com]

"PAUSE!"

The action stopped for a second as Jayne stomped over to where Loki was sitting. "What in nánguā xiǎobiàn qī gè dìyù xuànfēng¹ did you just do?" Jayne growled.

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¹ Translated from chinese: Seven swirly hells of pumpkin piss.

IDEK

Re: Activity

[abitlowkey]

"I do not think pumpkins capable of such an action," Loki replied thoughtfully. Because there was that Allspeak thing to translate what was in Jayne's greedy little heart.

Re: Activity

[nobloodymessiah.livejournal.com]

Eleanor started running, because the man had said to run. Once her brain caught up, she realized it would be much better to teleport, and she flashed once and reappeared over behind some brush.

The brush wasn't offering that much cover, which meant she reconsidered her options and decided to teleport again -- this time, directly behind the men on horseback.

A shame she didn't have her skewer. They were seated higher than her, so that would make it difficult to run up and do any neck-snapping. And she didn't want to accidentally hurt the horses, so that meant fire was out.

The hell with it. Eleanor was going to dash up behind the closest cowboy, grab a handful of his shirt, and yank for all she was worth. With any luck, he'd fall out of the saddle. Or else be so discombobulated that she could snatch the gun right out of his hand.

Re: Activity

[notasalad.livejournal.com]

Which she was rightly able to do. However there was a shot from Jayne's perch.

"PAUSE!"

He jumped down as everything paused while he clomped over to Eleanor's location.

"How in the shàngdì hé tā de gǔguài de zhízi shèngmǔ² did you do that?"

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² Holy mother of God and all her wacky nephews

Re: Activity

[nobloodymessiah.livejournal.com]

Eleanor stared at the teacher, and at the paused simulation. And she let go of the cowboy's shirt, feeling really sheepish now that everything was stopped.

"I ... teleported?" she said, biting her lower lip. "You didn't say we couldn't."

Were they not supposed to attack the cowboys? Maybe she was screwing up the class activity. Er. Oops?

Re: Activity

[myownface]

"Jesus fucking Christ I hate this school!"

Yeah, of course Sparkle was running. In fact, Sparkle had pretty much figured that he only needed to run fast enough to keep his classmates between himself and the shooters while he scrambled to get to cover.

Sparkle was not too proud to be terrible, and anyway, this was a simulation, and also, screw everything.

Re: Activity

[notasalad.livejournal.com]

"Good speed!" Jayne called encouragingly as he took a drag on his cigar.

Re: Activity

[myownface]

Sparkle did not reply. Not aloud, at least.

Sparkle didn't even turn around as he ran, really.

He just flipped Jayne the bird. Because sometimes obscene gestures were all you really needed in order to say what was important.

Re: Activity

[tigerundercover]

Raven shrieked and turned into a tortoise.

Not that this would help that much, beyond making her a much smaller target. At least she could burrow into the ground?

Re: Activity

[notasalad.livejournal.com]

Wait.

There was another girl.

Where'd the girl go?

Jayne stood up and took his cigar out of his mouth. Seriously. She was just here.

Re: Activity

[tigerundercover]

Raven decided the best place to cower would be right around the teacher's feet. He wasn't going to have the men on horseback shoot at him, right?

She booked it over towards Jayne. She was moving pretty fast, too.

You know, for a tortoise.

Re: Activity

[abitlowkey]

Loki debated it with himself for a moment before tucking his phone away and dashing out to pick up the tortoise to haul her back to his cozy little cover. Because for one, having someone owe you anything was always useful in the future. And two... that turtle just looked so pathetic.

Re: Activity

[notasalad.livejournal.com]

"Are your brains chǎo yòng qīng dànhuáng nǎiyóu suān làjiàng⁶? It's a rutting turtle!"

Clearly Loki was going to be the star pupil in this class today.

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⁶ Brains scrambled with a light hollandaise sauce

Everything sounds dirtier in Chinese.