fandomhigh | How to be a Hired Gun

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mercenary work

How to be a Hired Gun - Monday Period Three

Somebody at the school office had thoughtfully provided Jayne with a list of activities that he should never do with students. They had also used small words so he could easily understand them. He decided that he was going to break at least one of those rules so today he chose to smoke a cigar

Consider yourself lucky kids.

When the students entered the danger shop, they'd no doubt notice that there were multiple people on horses wearing some odd cowboy costumes in a prairie type setting.

"Right. I'm Jayne. This class is how to be a hired gun slash mercenary," Jayne announced as he took a puff from his cigar. "And the most important thing about being a hired gun is to not get shot. So. These guys are going to shoot at you and I'm going to see how fast you can run and hide."

Jayne wasn't much for complicated lectures. Or activities.

Run kids!

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Raven shrieked and turned into a tortoise.

Not that this would help that much, beyond making her a much smaller target. At least she could burrow into the ground?

Wait.

There was another girl.

Where'd the girl go?

Jayne stood up and took his cigar out of his mouth. Seriously. She was just here.

Raven decided the best place to cower would be right around the teacher's feet. He wasn't going to have the men on horseback shoot at him, right?

She booked it over towards Jayne. She was moving pretty fast, too.

You know, for a tortoise.

Jayne was continuing to look around for the missing girl. Did she ditch class? Jayne made a mental note to lock the doors next time. Chances are he wouldn't remember the locking of the door.

Oh. Look. A turtle.

"Seriously, where is she?"

Loki debated it with himself for a moment before tucking his phone away and dashing out to pick up the tortoise to haul her back to his cozy little cover. Because for one, having someone owe you anything was always useful in the future. And two... that turtle just looked so pathetic.

"Are your brains chǎo yòng qīng dànhuáng nǎiyóu suān làjiàng⁶? It's a rutting turtle!"

Clearly Loki was going to be the star pupil in this class today.

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⁶ Brains scrambled with a light hollandaise sauce

Everything sounds dirtier in Chinese.

Raven flailed her legs a little at being picked up, and glared at Jayne.

She was a tortoise, thank you very much.

"He is not the brightest teacher," Loki remarked. Because he was certain Raven would agree with him.

"I got that when he had them shoot at us," Raven noted. It came out a bit raspy and garbled. She wasn't very well practiced at making a tortoise's beak make human noises.

"Ah, but I believe mine brother would do the same," Loki replied. "Though with him it would be more likely with arrows..."

"I liked Thor's class," Raven protested. "He had us blow things up in microwaves."

"Yes. Yes he did." This Thor was so young. It was adorable.

"He didn't seem like the shooting students type."

Now if Loki were running a class. . . .

"Ah, but the friendships of Asgard are based in violent play."

"You mean like roughhousing?"

Raven and Charles had occasionally gotten yelled at for roughhousing growing up.

Mostly Raven.

"That would be like calling you a tiny bit mercurial."

"I'm not mercurial!"

It was likely she hadn't thought this through.

Just a tiny bit.

"Of course you are not."

"Thank you," Raven said, as haughtily as she could muster while wearing the shape of a tortoise. ". . . That means moody, right?"

"Easily changed as well."

"Oh. Well. I guess that fits."

She was totally disproving the "moody" definition, though.

"What do you think, should I run in and try to startle their horses?"

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How to be a Hired Gun - Monday Period Three

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