Sex Ed [Monday, Period Five]

[doubleohblonde]

When the class came in, they would have noticed several things. Quite apart from a complete lack of the ubiquitous handouts, Bond was leaning against the wall. This wasn't so unusual, however he usually wasn't wearing such tight clothing, nor did he usually pose in quite that manner, or display a fresh ring of teeth-marks on one forearm.

It was probably best for all concerned to ignore the thing currently growing on his upper lip.

If anyone still had any doubts that something not quite right was going on, they would ahve been dispelled the moment he opened his mouth. "I am Paulo," he said in a thick accent that could have come from any number of places."I am here, at great expense, to teach you about love-making."

"So ask me questions. Any question, I tell you answers for them all."

"I am also willing to give practical teaching," he added with a coquettish tilt of his head. "For you my rates are quite reasonable, and I do group bookings as well."

Yes, he did just say that. Someone would be spending the foreseeable future at the bottom of a bottle once the gremlin bite wore off.

[ooc: wait for ocd up.]

[Class Roster|Class Rules|Previous Classes]

Comments

Sign In - Sex Ed [Week 5]

[doubleohblonde]

Like you also charge reasonable rates.

Re: Sign In - Sex Ed [Week 5]

[noearsyet.livejournal.com]

George Cooper

Re: Sign In - Sex Ed [Week 5]

[guardianborn.livejournal.com]

Rose Hathaway

WHUT the icon is appropriate

Re: Sign In - Sex Ed [Week 5]

[pastmewrong.livejournal.com]

Effy Stonem

Listen to the Lecture - Sex Ed [Week 5]

[doubleohblonde]

Such as it is.

Alternatively, stare in horror at the pornstache.

Re: Listen to the Lecture - Sex Ed [Week 5]

[noearsyet.livejournal.com]

It was really, really sad that whatever was going on here was the most familiar thing George had encountered in this class.

He sat back in his chair, trying to keep the spintry's notice from falling on him.

Re: Listen to the Lecture - Sex Ed [Week 5]

[redandblueblur.livejournal.com]

Clark was working on what in the world was stuck to the professor's upper lip when he started groping his own face, in fear of it spreading.

Thankfully, it wasn't.

Re: Listen to the Lecture - Sex Ed [Week 5]

[heromaniac]

Momoko stared in horror. "Surely he's joking. Right? He's a teacher!" She may have shrieked that last bit.

Q&A with Paulo - Sex Ed [Week 5]

[doubleohblonde]

Bond mightn't have a sense of shame, but Paulo also doesn't have a sense of discretion.

Which is why he's happy to answer aaaaaaaall of your questions.

Re: Q&A with Paulo - Sex Ed [Week 5]

[weetinyreese.livejournal.com]

"Is this a test?" Kyle asked. It didn't hurt to ask.

Re: Q&A with Paulo - Sex Ed [Week 5]

[doubleohblonde]

"Love-making is always a test. A test of the heart and the body. Especially the body."

Re: Q&A with Paulo - Sex Ed [Week 5]

[weetinyreese.livejournal.com]

Okay, probably not a test. Well, not a test in that Bond was probably just crazy today. "It tests the body? How?"

Talk to Paulo - Sex Ed [Week 5]

[doubleohblonde]

For those who found that one class just wasn't enough of Paulo and his pornstache.

Re: Talk to Paulo - Sex Ed [Week 5]

[stylin-wizard.livejournal.com]

Alex knew that Mr. Bond wasn't exactly himself today, but she figured she should try and explain why she hadn't been in class last week. It was worth a shot, right?

Hence, her approaching him at the end of class.

Re: Talk to Paulo - Sex Ed [Week 5]

[doubleohblonde]

Paulo flicked his hair back out of his face invitingly. "Hello, my little... Harpsicord, yes?" he said. "You have come to take me up on my offer?"

Things like this were why Bond had emergency Scotch and emergency vodka in the first place.

Re: Talk to Paulo - Sex Ed [Week 5]

[stylin-wizard.livejournal.com]

"Hi," Alex was holding in her laughter because she knew how gremlin bites worked. Oh, he was going to hate himself in the morning. "Not exactly. I wasn't in class last Monday and I wanted to explain why, but I'm guessing you weren't around then either?"

Talk to the TAs - Sex Ed [Week 5]

[doubleohblonde]

They might have their hands full though.

Not dirty.

Re: Talk to the TAs - Sex Ed [Week 5]

[guardianborn.livejournal.com]

Um.

Um.

Rose was staring and trying to figure out what exactly she was gonna do if Mr. Bond actually tried to prostitute himself. Would she get detention for knocking out a teacher?

Re: Talk to the TAs - Sex Ed [Week 5]

[weetinyreese.livejournal.com]

Kyle went through a series of thoughts. First, he wondered if Professor Bond had one of those doubles with a really bad moustache. Then he wondered if he himself could grow a moustache like that. Then he finally settled on this being like Rose's insanity that time in the common room where she'd called him Tiny.

Throughout this series of unfortunate thoughts, he stared a lot.

Re: Talk to the TAs - Sex Ed [Week 5]

[guardianborn.livejournal.com]

During the, um, lecture, Rose glanced over at Kyle before quickly scribbling a note and passing to him.

A) Dare you to ask how much it'd be for a 'private lesson.'

B) If he makes a move on someone, take him down with me? I'll go high.

Re: Talk to the TAs - Sex Ed [Week 5]

[weetinyreese.livejournal.com]

Kyle took the note, but of course had no idea what it said. He stared at it for a few moments, seeing if he could magically suddenly read what it said, but no dice. He set the note aside on his desk, didn't reply and awkwardly tried to pay attention to Bond instead of Rose.

It wasn't his best plan.

Re: Talk to the TAs - Sex Ed [Week 5] - After Class

[weetinyreese.livejournal.com]

Kyle was glad that that was over and his stomach was grumbling as he thought of hamburgers and milkshakes. He stood up and shoved Rose's letters into his jacket pocket.

Re: Talk to the TAs - Sex Ed [Week 5] - After Class

[guardianborn.livejournal.com]

"Almost feel bad leaving him like that," Rose admitted, shoving her notebook into her bag and pulling out a hair tie. "Either that or I wanna see him hit on, like, Professor Atreides."

OOC - Sex Ed [Week 5]

[doubleohblonde]

You can thank whoever it was who decided that a pornstache would be a good look on Daniel Craig for today's class. Aren't you all grateful?

Re: OOC - Sex Ed [Week 5]

[thatsamilkshake]

I fear the pornstache, but that icon makes up for it!