fandomhigh | School Assembly, Friday afternoon, The Auditorium

Entry tags:

!event: assembly

School Assembly, Friday afternoon, The Auditorium

"Welcome, one and all, to the first school assembly of the new semester! In case you haven't met me yet, I am The Tick! Dean of Students here at Fandom High. That means that where student issues are concerned, I am the parking attendant in the self park garage of your education!"

"Today, we have a special in the garage! It's a special that speaks of a different kind of special you might get in a seedier garage. Today's special is called DANK: Drugs Are Not Kool! Spelling is cool, of course, but sometimes you have to make an exception and spell something with a 'k' to work. Anyway, we will have several speakers this afternoon, guiding your car into a parking space of a clean and healthy life! Please welcome our guests!"

[OOC: Each speaker will have their own thread, plus there will be a Q&A thread at the end of the post for them to ping into. Also, since it seems appropriate this time, there will be a thread for after the assembly to speak to the guests a bit more privately. Please wait to ask the speakers questions until the speakers have pinged in.

There are also a couple of general conversation threads for people who don't want to give their undivided attention. :)

Big thanks to all of the speakers! Speaking of which, speakers should be sure to check their comm invites.]

Threaded | Top-Level Comments Only

Find your seats and mingle!

"We start off with one of our very own professors, El Mariachi! This is a personal subject for him, so please give him your full attention!"

"Our next speaker is the mascot for a beer company. He is here as part of a public service agreement and is reminded that he should be promoting general responsibility, not promoting his product. Ladies and gentlemen, I give you a man who makes a mockery of his costume, Duffman!"

The Tick didn't take kindly to superheroes trying to convince people to drink. It just wasn't keen.

"Now I proudly present to you the mother of one of our seniors and a better role model than our last speaker. Please welcome Nikki Savage!"

"Next we have the mother of another Fandom resident. In this case, it's one of the local bar owners, so this may have an interesting slant. Please welcome Lucille Bluth!"

"Now I would like to present to you the executive producer of a show that I enjoy quite a bit, Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip --" Tick liked sketch comedy, "-- Danny Tripp!"

"Finally, I would like to welcome back a former Principal of Fandom High! He's taken some time to come back and make sure that we all know about the dangers of drugs. Please welcome back Former Principal Smith!"

"Now that all of our speakers are done, it's time to open the floor up to questions. If you have any questions for them, please step up and ask!"

[OOC: Please don't ask a question of a speaker until they have pinged into this thread. Thank you.]

"I would like to give a mighty thank you to all of our speakers! We appreciate your insights and hopefully choose to live life the DANK way!"

If any of the speakers would like to talk to people a little more privately than they would be able to on stage, now would be a good time for it.

[OOC: Completely voluntary by the speakers. Please don't wait to talk to a speaker unless they ping in.]

DANK is courtesy of the lovely and wonderful

the_merriest. I've gone ahead and unscreened the posted suggestions (http://community.livejournal.com/fhplotterywheel/52180.html?thread=1251028#t1251028) in the original plottery post. This one just caught me. :)

"Thank you for that fine introduction, Dean The Tick," Smith said, taking the stage. "For those of you who remember me, my name is Smith. An agent of a higher power. Today I have but one mission. To make sure that you, the students of Fandom High, do not become like a person of my acquaintance. We shall call him by his name."

A pause. "Mister Anderson."

"Mister Anderson was into computers. He enjoyed frolicking about in a land of pretend and mischief. This was all fun and ultimately harmless, if it did not lead him to a dangerous world. A world where he was confronted with a choice. He decided to seek out new depths of depravity. He... took the red pill. To see just how far the rabbit hole would go. And sadly for Mister Anderson, there were depths he had never even had nightmares about."

"The drugs led him to associate with a known criminal, no, I dare say terrorist element. This whirlwind of self destruction left him parading about in a silly coat and sunglasses, playing with guns and shooting innocent police officers. And then, he learned not how far the rabbit hole goes, but exactly how six feet under feels like. As yours truly put an end to his substance-powered stupidity with a bullet directly into his brain."

He smiled. He liked that part. He was foregoing the whole what happened after part, as it ruined the story.

"So you see, if you do drugs, I will be forced to hunt you down and do the same. You wouldn't want that now, would you?"

He smiled.

"I suppose you all have questions," Smith said. "And I suppose I could bring myself to answer them."

Smith was adjusting his cuffs. Like you do.

"Thank you Mr... Tick." Danny wasn't totally sure about the costume, but hey: a fan was a fan.

"As he said, my name is Danny Tripp and I run a little show called Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip, also known as the flagship program for NBS and the largest guiding force in American culture for as long as the show has been on the air. Moreso now that I'm in charge of it.

"I'm currently running the show because a few months ago I tested positive for cocaine which meant I couldn't get bonded for the movie that my partner, Matt, and I were working on. I'm currently here because apparently calling your boss a few thousand times during her vacation is not without consequences.

"Now contrary to what your basement-living friends on the Internet might tell you - none of whom, by the way, would recognize quality television programming if it was titled Quality Television Programming And You complete with their names at the end - taking certain mind-altering substances into your body isn't 'hip' or 'righteous' or whatever word red-state reality-show-loving freaks are using to describe something that's good these days. No. There can be consequences.

"For instance drunk driving is one of the most toxic, selfish, and potentially lethal things you could ever do. There's no excuse for it. None whatsoever. Anyone who drives drunk, attempts to drive drunk, or even thinks of driving drunk should be taken out and shot, or sent to Iraq so they can know what real problems are like.

"I am a coke addict who in one weekend took away the potential for my partner and I to win an Oscar, locked the both of us into a non-negotiable deal to work on a job that results in neither one of us getting any sleep and him especially having to shoulder the lion's share of the endless nights, totally ruined the job plans and income for anyone and everyone involved in our movie down to the smallest employees whose names I can't be bothered to learn but who count on those checks to feed their families, and that is exactly why I am qualified to stand here and tell you that drinking and driving is awful, while cocaine use is a fairly victimless crime."

Danny nodded, as though satifsfied with all that. "I think that covers it."

Steerpike rather liked this fellow.

"Questions?" Danny asked, raising his glasses so he could look out over the audience. "Requests for autographs?"

Danny was trying to get his cellphone to pick up a signal, but he could be interrupted if someone grabbed his attention.

Literal grabbing might be required here.

Danny has been pinged in but ze player is going to bed. I shall be around tomorrow for replies.

*checks time*

I shall be around later today for replies.

"El walked out on stage with his guitar case and set it down. He pulled it out, played a few chords, and faced the class.

"I suppose you're all half asleep by now. Expecting your professor and a bunch of random puntas from off island to bore you to tears with explanations about why drugs are bad from you. Perhaps a few songs will be played about the dangers of drugs."

El played another chord. Then, like lightning, the guitar was returned to the cased and El shut the case with a definite finality. There two loud clicks that rang through the silence of the auditorium.

"But no. I have a different story I want to tell you about." He began walking forward towards the front of the stage, stepping over the guitar case.

"As most of you know, I come from Mexico. And in Mexico, and in Colombia, and in all those other places, that's where the drug cartels are. The people who are responsible for producing and transporting the drugs up here. Crime empires built upon the trafficking of drugs. Whenever you buy drugs, you're supporting one of those empires. Here. In Mexico. In Colombia. Anywhere. These are people who rule over towns like they were their own personal kingdoms. These are people who keep all of Mexico in a sea of gunpowder and blood."

He stepped forward to the very front of the stage.

"These are the people who took my family. My friends. Everyone I ever loved. And even my hand." He ripped of the brace he normally had on his hand to reveal the ugly bullet hole scare through the palm.

"Now remember that every time you buy drugs, you're giving more power to these monsters."

El fiddled with his arm strap/support as he looked out over the crowd. "Any questions?"

El, as always, was available to talk to his students.

Pippi applauded and whistled real loud for Smith.

She wishes she had some pie.

"Principal Smith! How great to see you!"

Pippi flounces up and pounces on him, giving him a big hug... If she can catch him.

She's pretty determined to do so.

Ignore that shriek of, "MOM?!" from the back of the room. God knows Nikki is.

"So, I usually don't do things like this, but...yes. I'm here to tell you not to do drugs. And to embarrass my daughter horribly, because children need to be embarrassed. But mostly, to tell you not to do drugs. Seriously. I did drugs. I was young and stupid and this really cute guy said that if I came with him to New York and tried some of this he'd love me and make me a star. And I did stupid things, like taking my top off onstage, and okay, I did those after I got clean, too, but I knew what I was doing then. And then this guy died, and I was hooked and alone, and I got clean and made my own damn self a star, but it was hard work. Rehab is not a fun place. Don't wind up there. And the best way not to wind up there? Don't do drugs. Thank you."

Pippi raises her hand, waving it around and bouncing it a little.

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Page 1 of 16

School Assembly, Friday afternoon, The Auditorium

Before the Assembly [1/26]

Speaker 1: El Mariachi

Speaker 2: Duffman

Speaker 3: Nikki Savage

Speaker 4: Lucille Bluth

Speaker 5: Danny Tripp

Speaker 6: Agent Smith

Speaker Q&A [1/26]

After the Assembly [1/26]

OOC [1/26]

Re: Speaker 6: Agent Smith

Re: Speaker Q&A [1/26]

Re: After the Assembly [1/26]

Re: Speaker 5: Danny Tripp

Re: Speaker 6: Agent Smith

Re: Speaker Q&A [1/26]

Re: After the Assembly [1/26]

Re: OOC [1/26]

Re: Speaker Q&A [1/26]

Re: Speaker Q&A [1/26]

Re: After the Assembly [1/26]

Re: Speaker 6: Agent Smith

Re: After the Assembly [1/26]

Re: Speaker 3: Nikki Savage

Re: Speaker Q&A [1/26]