fandomhigh | School Assembly, Friday afternoon, The Auditorium

"Welcome, one and all, to the first school assembly of the new semester! In case you haven't met me yet, I am The Tick! Dean of Students here at Fandom High. That means that where student issues are concerned, I am the parking attendant in the self park garage of your education!"

"Today, we have a special in the garage! It's a special that speaks of a different kind of special you might get in a seedier garage. Today's special is called DANK: Drugs Are Not Kool! Spelling is cool, of course, but sometimes you have to make an exception and spell something with a 'k' to work. Anyway, we will have several speakers this afternoon, guiding your car into a parking space of a clean and healthy life! Please welcome our guests!"

[OOC: Each speaker will have their own thread, plus there will be a Q&A thread at the end of the post for them to ping into. Also, since it seems appropriate this time, there will be a thread for after the assembly to speak to the guests a bit more privately. Please wait to ask the speakers questions until the speakers have pinged in.

There are also a couple of general conversation threads for people who don't want to give their undivided attention. :)

Big thanks to all of the speakers! Speaking of which, speakers should be sure to check their comm invites.]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

"Thank you for that fine introduction, Dean The Tick," Smith said, taking the stage. "For those of you who remember me, my name is Smith. An agent of a higher power. Today I have but one mission. To make sure that you, the students of Fandom High, do not become like a person of my acquaintance. We shall call him by his name."

A pause. "Mister Anderson."

"Mister Anderson was into computers. He enjoyed frolicking about in a land of pretend and mischief. This was all fun and ultimately harmless, if it did not lead him to a dangerous world. A world where he was confronted with a choice. He decided to seek out new depths of depravity. He... took the red pill. To see just how far the rabbit hole would go. And sadly for Mister Anderson, there were depths he had never even had nightmares about."

"The drugs led him to associate with a known criminal, no, I dare say terrorist element. This whirlwind of self destruction left him parading about in a silly coat and sunglasses, playing with guns and shooting innocent police officers. And then, he learned not how far the rabbit hole goes, but exactly how six feet under feels like. As yours truly put an end to his substance-powered stupidity with a bullet directly into his brain."

He smiled. He liked that part. He was foregoing the whole what happened after part, as it ruined the story.

"So you see, if you do drugs, I will be forced to hunt you down and do the same. You wouldn't want that now, would you?"

He smiled.

Steerpike rather liked this fellow.

Pippi applauded and whistled real loud for Smith.

She wishes she had some pie.

Walter whooped and applauded for former-Principal Smith and wondered if he'd be able to duck out to grab some duct tape and a pie.

Pip stood up and cheered for Smith.

Because it was Smith!

Perhaps he should take Smith out for pie.

Parker checked around for Miho. Because you never knew. She also put her shades on, and slumped a little, in case she was here.

Annette blinked. While she might like his approach... They had a murderer as a guest speaker?

Ok so that's what the scariest dude on Earth looked like.

Good to know.

Isabel meeped and sunk down in her seat.

And Liz had thought that she had seen scary people before.

As she listened to the speaker Liz was making a mental note to never get on that guy's bad side.

Sam scooted down in his seat and gave Smith a weary look.

Billy tried to remember if there was an Anderson in Cobra's ranks.

School Assembly, Friday afternoon, The Auditorium

Re: Speaker 6: Agent Smith

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