Careers Fair, Fandom High Front Lawn, Friday Afternoon, 07/21/06

[drywitmartini.livejournal.com]

By lunch time, the booths were set up, the guests had arrived and there was quaint music playing from somewhere undetermined. Hawkeye is walking around with one of those portable microphone/speaker set-ups, roaming from booth to booth announcing the various guests that have come to Fandom to talk about their professions.

And despite what the mainland weather forecast said, it was definitely a nice, fine day.

Comments

BUSINESSMAN/ENTERPRENEUR

[drywitmartini.livejournal.com]

"If you're a self-starter and want to get your own business going, come and talk to the founder of the Leftorium, Mr Ned Flanders!"

Re: BUSINESSMAN/ENTERPRENEUR

[divine-southpaw.livejournal.com]

"Good morning pupilrinos! Like your wonderful vice principal just said, I am Ned Flanders, owner and operator of the Leftorium. What is the Leftorium, you may be asking yourself? Well, I like to to say it's the store that will make you bereft not to be left!"

Ned waits for laughter that probably never comes.

"I've brought some samples of the Leftorium's merchanse. Left handed scissors, left handed shot glasses, and left handed...CONDOMS?!"

Ned shrieks like a girl and immediately throws the condoms into the crowd.

Laughing nervously, he says, "No idea how those got in there. Must've been a err-diddily-or with my inventory."

Possibly waiting to see if the condoms make a reapparance, Ned finally continues: "Being a self starter wasn't easy kids. It took dedication, intelligence, and many, many sleepless nights reading the Lord's word. That's the way to go, let me tell you! So, questions?"

Re: BUSINESSMAN/ENTERPRENEUR

[greenmagebriar.livejournal.com]

"How much of a profit do you bring in?" Briar had his hands tucked into his pockets.

Re: BUSINESSMAN/ENTERPRENEUR

[divine-southpaw.livejournal.com]

"Well, young future business man of America, profit's only one of the things you should worry about when starting a business," Ned says, waggling a finger. "The first and numero uno thing is customer satisfaction. If my customers aren't satisfied then I don't sleep for weeks!"

Re: BUSINESSMAN/ENTERPRENEUR

[greenmagebriar.livejournal.com]

Briar blinked and didn't ask the first question that popped into his mind. He went for the second. "How is not sleeping going to help your customers?"

Re: BUSINESSMAN/ENTERPRENEUR

[divine-southpaw.livejournal.com]

"Because, buckorino, that sleepless time is spent devising new ways for me to improve my customer service," he says, pumping one fist in excitement. "Why, just last month, a woman was dissatisfied with the accomodations for her child so I had a changing table installed!"

Re: BUSINESSMAN/ENTERPRENEUR

[greenmagebriar.livejournal.com]

Briar opened his mouth and then closed it. "So basically your company produces products for people who are left handed?"

Re: BUSINESSMAN/ENTERPRENEUR

[divine-southpaw.livejournal.com]

"Right as rain," Ned says and gives Briar a pamphlet describing the Leftorium's goals, mission statement, and products. "Tell me, future businessman, are you a left hander in a world of right handers?"

Re: BUSINESSMAN/ENTERPRENEUR

[auroryborealis.livejournal.com]

"I'm right-handed. Will this make me a less efective businesswoman?" Rory asked solemnly.

Re: BUSINESSMAN/ENTERPRENEUR

[divine-southpaw.livejournal.com]

"Not at all," Ned says cheerfully. "Only the evils of our culture will prevent someone from becoming a good business person!"

Re: BUSINESSMAN/ENTERPRENEUR

[auroryborealis.livejournal.com]

"Evils?" she asked. "Like oppression and ignorance and lack of fair pay?"

Re: BUSINESSMAN/ENTERPRENEUR

[divine-southpaw.livejournal.com]

"No, no, no," Ned says, laughing that off. "Like people who insist on bring s-e-x into a place of business."

Re: BUSINESSMAN/ENTERPRENEUR

[auroryborealis.livejournal.com]

"Sex is an unavoidable issue, though," she pointed out. "It's used unconsciously in everything from advertising to the news."

Re: BUSINESSMAN/ENTERPRENEUR

[divine-southpaw.livejournal.com]

Ned might look a little red in the face. "And it makes everything eeeeeevil."

Re: BUSINESSMAN/ENTERPRENEUR

[absolutesnark]

"You said being a self starter wasn't easy. What kind of difficulties did you encounter when trying to start yours?" Piper asked curiously. "I ask because I'm planning to start one of my own someday."

Re: BUSINESSMAN/ENTERPRENEUR

[divine-southpaw.livejournal.com]

"Well, I'm glad you asked," Ned says, tugging at his moustache. "Getting the word out about your business is almost always the most difficult thing to do. I tried advertising at my church, on PBS, and with fliers throughout my neighborhood and nothing worked. Why, I even had to close my beloved business down once because I was out of money."

Re: BUSINESSMAN/ENTERPRENEUR

[absolutesnark]

"But it's open now, so you must have done something right," Piper said. "Or are there just a lot of left-handed people out there?"

Re: BUSINESSMAN/ENTERPRENEUR

[divine-southpaw.livejournal.com]

"Why, I had some good luck, good fortune and some good friends," Ned tells her. "Forming strong networks of people is one of the most important things when succeeding in business. I get a lot of my business through referrals from my friends' companies!"

Re: BUSINESSMAN/ENTERPRENEUR

[absolutesnark]

"I'll definitely have to remember that when I open my own restaurant someday," Piper said confidently. "Maybe I can even order utensils for the left-handed patrons."

She kind of liked this idea.

Re: BUSINESSMAN/ENTERPRENEUR

[divine-southpaw.livejournal.com]

"That would be a splen-diddily-did idea," Ned chirps. "I'll even give you half off. Get it, half off? Because a left hand is just one hand and you have two hands."

He geniunely thinks he's hilarious.

Re: BUSINESSMAN/ENTERPRENEUR

[kawalsky.livejournal.com]

"What's a Leftorium?"

Re: BUSINESSMAN/ENTERPRENEUR

[divine-southpaw.livejournal.com]

"The Leftorium is my store," Ned answers. "It's for all your left handed needs and desires!"

Re: BUSINESSMAN/ENTERPRENEUR

[kawalsky.livejournal.com]

"Do you sell left-handed weapons?"

Re: BUSINESSMAN/ENTERPRENEUR

[divine-southpaw.livejournal.com]

"Well, unless you consider the left handed sheet music of one Axel Rose a weapon, then no, we don't."

Re: BUSINESSMAN/ENTERPRENEUR

[kawalsky.livejournal.com]

"Oh. That's a shame. You could probably get a really good contract with the military selling those. Umm...how about left-handed spatulas?"