Careers Fair, Fandom High Front Lawn, Friday Afternoon, 07/21/06

[drywitmartini.livejournal.com]

By lunch time, the booths were set up, the guests had arrived and there was quaint music playing from somewhere undetermined. Hawkeye is walking around with one of those portable microphone/speaker set-ups, roaming from booth to booth announcing the various guests that have come to Fandom to talk about their professions.

And despite what the mainland weather forecast said, it was definitely a nice, fine day.

Comments

Re: BUSINESSMAN/ENTERPRENEUR

[divine-southpaw.livejournal.com]

Ned puts one hand to his head and tries not to faint.

He would've run to call Reverend Lovejoy but the last time he'd called, the Reverend said that would be his only allowed call of the day.

"Excuse me for one moment."

And, Ned's off again, down the hall and to the pay phone. He dials a number.

"Homer? It's Ned Flanders."

Ned immediately thrusts the phone away from his ear as Homer burps loudly. After waiting for it to subside, he asks, "This school is full of sex! What should I do?"

Pause.

"No, I am not going to get Maude and join the sex crowd. Stop burping in my ear!"

When Homer doesn't stop, Ned hangs up and returns to his booth. "You sure do know a lot about s-e-x. But how much do you know about...left handed razors?"

Re: BUSINESSMAN/ENTERPRENEUR

[auroryborealis.livejournal.com]

Normally she wouldn't have said it.

But it was really too funny not to.... "Is that a euphemism?"

Re: BUSINESSMAN/ENTERPRENEUR

[divine-southpaw.livejournal.com]

"Right as rain," Ned says, missing the innuendo. "It's an euphemism for too much hair!"

Re: BUSINESSMAN/ENTERPRENEUR

[auroryborealis.livejournal.com]

"How does it differ from a right handed razor?" she asked with a sigh.

Re: BUSINESSMAN/ENTERPRENEUR

[divine-southpaw.livejournal.com]

"I happen to have one right diddily here," Ned says, producing a pink razor from his bag. "Should I demonstrate?"

Re: BUSINESSMAN/ENTERPRENEUR

[auroryborealis.livejournal.com]

"...sure," Rory said, nodding.

Re: BUSINESSMAN/ENTERPRENEUR

[divine-southpaw.livejournal.com]

"Right-o," Ned says and rolls up one of his pants leg. He takes the razor in one hand and says, "Now, if you notice, if this was a right handed razor, I'd be having a dilly of a time not cutting an artery. With my handy dandy left handed razor..." He stops and actually shaves a patch of hair from his leg. "No artery gushing!"

Re: BUSINESSMAN/ENTERPRENEUR

[auroryborealis.livejournal.com]

"But I'm right handed. If I use a left handed razor, will I have artery gushing?" she asked curiously.

Re: BUSINESSMAN/ENTERPRENEUR

[divine-southpaw.livejournal.com]

"It's a very real possibility," Ned tells her. "If that should happen, just tuck n' roll and everything will be a-okay!"

Re: BUSINESSMAN/ENTERPRENEUR

[auroryborealis.livejournal.com]

"Tuck n' roll? Like with a fire?" she asked, confused.

Re: BUSINESSMAN/ENTERPRENEUR

[divine-southpaw.livejournal.com]

"Yes, in-deedly-do," Ned says. "And then go to church!"

Re: BUSINESSMAN/ENTERPRENEUR

[auroryborealis.livejournal.com]

"I don't go to church," she said.

Re: BUSINESSMAN/ENTERPRENEUR

[divine-southpaw.livejournal.com]

"Oh dear heavens," Ned says, fanning himself. "Why the heck not?"

Re: BUSINESSMAN/ENTERPRENEUR

[auroryborealis.livejournal.com]

"I don't practice a religion, really," she said, shrugging. "I think we're Episcopalian. But I'm not even sure that I believe in God, really."

Re: BUSINESSMAN/ENTERPRENEUR

[divine-southpaw.livejournal.com]

Ned twitches. And twitches again.

"I feel faint," he says, wobbling again. "First, sex and now this. Oh, dear dear dear."

Re: BUSINESSMAN/ENTERPRENEUR

[auroryborealis.livejournal.com]

"Would you like some water or something, sir?" she offered.

Re: BUSINESSMAN/ENTERPRENEUR

[divine-southpaw.livejournal.com]

"No-diddily do diddily-no," Ned flails. "I'm just slightly ruffled by the lack of spirituality in this school. If I'd brought my Lip Baptizin' kit, I'd take care of this right now!"

Re: BUSINESSMAN/ENTERPRENEUR

[auroryborealis.livejournal.com]

"...you baptize lips?" she asked.

Re: BUSINESSMAN/ENTERPRENEUR

[divine-southpaw.livejournal.com]

"When you're baptized, every part of your body is and there is nothing sexual about that, little missy!"

Re: BUSINESSMAN/ENTERPRENEUR

[auroryborealis.livejournal.com]

Rory considered this. "I think I might've been baptized," she mused.

Re: BUSINESSMAN/ENTERPRENEUR

[divine-southpaw.livejournal.com]

Ned flails about. And twitches. And shakes. He's resisting the urge to run and call Reverend Lovejoy again.

"Why, baptizing will put you on the right path to salvation. It'll save you from such vices as sugar, pornography, Woody Allen movies, and Barney."

Re: BUSINESSMAN/ENTERPRENEUR

[auroryborealis.livejournal.com]

"What's wrong with sugar?" The others she could totally buy as vices.

Re: BUSINESSMAN/ENTERPRENEUR

[divine-southpaw.livejournal.com]

"It gets you high," Ned says sagely. "If Rod or Todd have one pinch of sugar, they're up all night, demanding to watch something hedonistic like The Little Blue People."

Re: BUSINESSMAN/ENTERPRENEUR

[auroryborealis.livejournal.com]

"Are Rod and Tod your children?" she asked. "My mother raised me on sugar and tater tots and I turned out just fine."

Re: BUSINESSMAN/ENTERPRENEUR

[divine-southpaw.livejournal.com]

"They are," he says, "and did you turn out fine? Did you really?"

Stupid Ned.