fandomhigh | Journalism 101/201 and Journalistic Integrity FINAL

Woe.

"Hat boy?" Rita asked incredulously.

"Ma'am?" Xander answered politely.

She rolled her eyes. "Neither of you is on the roster."

"...you're kidding me." Bridge says, looking shocked and maybe a little wibbly.

"'Fraid not," Rita said, frowning. She picked up a sheet of paper. "Barbossa. Callisto. Echolls, Logan. Fraiser, Janet. Krycek, Alexeij. Mars, Veronica. Thrace, Kara. Trebond, Alan. Sullivan, Chloe."

She glanced up. "Official roster. Are you any of those people?"

Xander nods ~~and files Krycek's full name away for any possible future use~~. "I'm Alex Krycek."

Well, it isn't totally a lie. Alex is in his name.

Callisto looked up. "Professor Skeeter, that's the old roster. You had Krycek-" she shot a look at Xander, " -and I update it to add Bridge, remember?"

"...that is not Alex," she said firmly.

"My name is too Alex. That's what my grandmother calls me and everything." Xander looks slightly hurt.

"Yes, it is Alex," Callisto said, reaching over to pat Xander on the arm. "Why don't you recognise your own TA?"

Rita sighed ~~AND DOES NOT KNOW KRYCEK'S NAME, PEOPLE. NO SHE DOES NOT. I SCREWED UP. BEAT ME WITH STICKS NOT DIRTY SORRY OOPS~~ and looked at Xander again.

"No, that's not my TA. He's not looking at you all lovelorn for one thing."

"That's because Alex has a boyfriend," Callisto said. "Whom he cares for very much."

"Indeed." Xander leaned sideways in his desk, put one arm around Bridge, and kissed him. Hard.

Rita stared.

And then thought it might be funny if "Alex" was suddenly kissing something smaller and slimier.

So she waved her wand at them vaguely, aiming for Bridge.

Xander stares suspiciously -- without, you know, disconnecting his lips -- when he hears her start to speak something that isn't English and isn't anything he learned in Creature Languages either. When the wand waves, he moves forward fast, as if he's about to pin Bridge against his chair. Which he does, for like, a millisecond.

Oops.

Rita hadn't meant to turn that boy into a newt.

Oh well. Still funny.

Callisto noticed that Xander was not so Xander shaped anymore. "Hey! You could have hit Bridge!" She lunged for Rita.

Pity her clothes disappeared mid-lunge.

Greater pity the armour meant she didn't need a bra.

Okay, so... one minute, Bridge had been kissing Xander, and the next, he's holding a newt and Callisto is wearing nothing but boxers.

"Um."

"Callistie, cover yourself," Rita said, ignoring Bridge and flailing at her TA instead.

Xander is a newt, yo.

BUT HE STILL HAS EYES!

Callisto flailed. Until she realised that was leaving her a wee bit exposed. "You did this!"

"No, I did not," Rita said, covering her eyes. "I really, really did not."

Callisto put her hands on her hips and glared. "Yes you did!"

It is entirely possible that Xander will remember the Newt for "ZOMG BOOBIES!" when he is once again human. ...if he is ever again human. Because it's certainly all that's going through his head at this particular second.

Well, there's also "I am safe, a nice person is holding me" but that's more an unconscious awareness. He is a newt; he has a very small brain.

JI - Talk, annoy Rita, all of that FOR THE LAST TIME OMG.

Re: JI - Talk, annoy Rita, all of that FOR THE LAST TIME OMG.

Re: JI - Talk, annoy Rita, all of that FOR THE LAST TIME OMG.

Re: JI - Talk, annoy Rita, all of that FOR THE LAST TIME OMG.

Re: JI - Talk, annoy Rita, all of that FOR THE LAST TIME OMG.

Re: JI - Talk, annoy Rita, all of that FOR THE LAST TIME OMG.

Re: JI - Talk, annoy Rita, all of that FOR THE LAST TIME OMG.

Re: JI - Talk, annoy Rita, all of that FOR THE LAST TIME OMG.

Re: JI - Talk, annoy Rita, all of that FOR THE LAST TIME OMG.

Re: JI - Talk, annoy Rita, all of that FOR THE LAST TIME OMG.

Re: JI - Talk, annoy Rita, all of that FOR THE LAST TIME OMG.

Re: JI - Talk, annoy Rita, all of that FOR THE LAST TIME OMG.

Re: JI - Talk, annoy Rita, all of that FOR THE LAST TIME OMG.

Re: JI - Talk, annoy Rita, all of that FOR THE LAST TIME OMG.

Re: JI - Talk, annoy Rita, all of that FOR THE LAST TIME OMG.

Re: JI - Talk, annoy Rita, all of that FOR THE LAST TIME OMG.

Re: JI - Talk, annoy Rita, all of that FOR THE LAST TIME OMG.

Re: JI - Talk, annoy Rita, all of that FOR THE LAST TIME OMG.

Re: JI - Talk, annoy Rita, all of that FOR THE LAST TIME OMG.

Re: JI - Talk, annoy Rita, all of that FOR THE LAST TIME OMG.

Re: JI - Talk, annoy Rita, all of that FOR THE LAST TIME OMG.

Re: JI - Talk, annoy Rita, all of that FOR THE LAST TIME OMG.

Re: JI - Talk, annoy Rita, all of that FOR THE LAST TIME OMG.

Re: JI - Talk, annoy Rita, all of that FOR THE LAST TIME OMG.

Re: JI - Talk, annoy Rita, all of that FOR THE LAST TIME OMG.