fandomhigh | Sex Education, February 12, 2020

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sex ed

Sex Education, February 12, 2020

Did Anakin choose to hand you screaming, ethnically diverse (waterproof) robot babies-and-one-robot-Zora-baby this week on purpose, class?

Of course he did. You're not new.

"Everyone gets to be a single parent this week," Anakin said with a little, fiendish grin. "You get to take care of these offspring like you would a real child or Zora. They need to fed, burped, changed, and put down for naps on a regular schedule."

Their regular schedule had them up every day at 2 in the morning. Anakin figured this was a veeeeery effective counterpoint to the sex pollen this week. "Come and get your offspring--Sidon, you can figure out which one is yours--and tell me what you will call it so I can program it in."

He sighed heavily. "I used to think this went without saying, but don't eat the baby."

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Ready for parenthood! Or not.

Prince Sidon

Ulysses Zane

Theron Shan

Grog Strongjaw

Nell Ingram

Or joy. Or whatever.

Sidon was definitely on the joy side of things with this one. He remembered having to do one of these children exercises before for another class, and it had been absolute fantastic experience! And this time there was even a little Zora hatchling for him! Marvelous! No stumbling around trying to guess how human babies were supposed to be raised, although he did think he did a pretty good job with little Steelquake Hazelburp Gentletoes the Third!

Nell had been taking care of babies since she was practically still in diapers herself. Cloth diapers, none of these new-fangled disposable things. She was intrigued, but not really concerned.

Maybe next year you'll all get fake baby Yodas, but not this year! Tell Anakin what you're going to call this adorable little shrieking horror designed to make your week miserable!

"Oh, well, surely," said Sidon, with a fiendish grin for how absolutely clever he was as he gestured toward one of the babies that was clearly not the Zora hatchling, "this is the one that is meant to be mine!"

Yes, he thought he was very funny.

He was having a very difficult week with a very high kissing quota and absolutely not girlfriend around to help him meet it, just let him have this.

"Hilarious," Anakin said dryly.

"Uuuuuuh." Yeah, no, everything about this was a terrible idea. "What if we don't know much about babies?"

"You'll learn from trial and error," Anakin said. "When they cry, pick them up. Try to feed them, see if they're wet, or tired. That's pretty much your three options."

"I think if it's a boy I'll call it Jacob. If it's a girl, well, Hannah would be nice," Nell said.

"Come pick up Jacob, then," Anakin said with a little smile.

"Now this is something amazing," Nell said, picking up Jacob with practiced ease. "They're just like real little ones."

She looked up at Anakin with a bit of a teasing smile. "Betcha anything you fixed 'em up to be extra fractious."

"Maybe," Anakin said, winking.

"Uh huh, that's what I thought," Nell said with a grin. "Gotta tell you, though. Prob'ly ain't nothin' I haven't seen before, but I bet robot babies don't settle near as good as real ones."

"Well, they're literally programmed to be fussy," Anakin admitted.

Nell nodded. "I suspected as much. I'm a real dab hand with an actual baby. Guess I'll see how I do with little Jacob here. Thank you, sir."

Theron and his complete lack of issues were taking the Jedi approach to child-rearing. Namely making a quick exit and leaving someone else to take care of it.

Complete lack of issues. Yep.

He will not babysit for you.

Given this week, should we cancel Friday this time? Rey texted, safely, from home.

That's probably safer, yes, Anakin wrote back. Work on meditation. A lot.

She wasn't going to tell him how much that was not working.

THANK YOU

When she actually canceled training, you knew it was bad.

I have a few extra robot babies if you need a distraction?

No one wants those, Anakin.

The response was immediate. Those little typing dots could not have shown up any faster.

Absolutely not.

They're cute!

Only if you were Anakin.

~It's the most wonderful tiiiiime of the year~

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Sex Education, February 12, 2020

Sign in 2/12

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Stare in Horror!

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Come Get Your Baby!

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Talk to Anakin

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OOC