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Sex Ed, Tuesday, 3rd Period

"So, if the radio is to be believed, some of you have already been talking about a result of pregnancy with your babies from Ethics class," Clint said, giving anyone with one of said babies a sympathetic look. "We talked a little bit about how to prevent pregnancy already by protecting yourself, but sometimes sh--tuff happens and you have to decide what to do. If you decide that you want to go through with your pregnancy--and really, I'm just talking to the girls here since that's ultimately your decision, and any guy who wants to make that decision for you deserves to be thrown from your life at top speed--if you decide you want to go through with staying pregnant, well, there are some things you should know."

At this point, Clint passed out a handout and went through the various effects and symptoms of pregnancy on a month by month basis. If any of the guys were weirded out, Clint figured they'd be all the more likely to use protection when they did the deed, and that was half of his job here as far as he was concerned. "In the end, you'll end up with a baby who I can almost guarantee will cry less than anything designed by someone whose last name is Skywalker, but that doesn't mean the nine months will be pleasant. So, our discussion for today: ladies, if you could pass one aspect of being pregnant on to guys instead, what would you get rid of? Guys, what would you be willing to take on to make things more fair?"

[Much thanks to

evilpinkthing for the foundation of this idea. :D]

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With cravings!

Nathan Byrn

Ada Miller

Isabela

April

Gwen Stacy

Eric Bittle

Try not to gawk at the baby bellies in the pictures.

Gwen still had her baby. Sure, it was stuffed in her backpack to try and keep it quiet, but she'd left the zipper open a little to let it "breathe" so sorry for the tying, class.

"So, I have to ask, how much sleep have you gotten in the last few days?" Clint asked, giving Gwen a sympathetic look.

"I have a partner for this, so.... Some," Gwen said. "You want to take her?"

"Not even remotely. I'll probably make it worse," Clint said. "I'm okay with technology, but if it's anything like a real baby, contact with me will make it scream."

"Oh she already does that anyway." Gwen was a helper.

"Did you get a specially cranky one?" Clint asked. "Did you make the teachers mad? Or just have bad luck?"

"I don't know. I think she's just Satan. Are you sure you won't take her?"

"I can see if I can find some duct tape to go over wherever the noise is coming from?" Clint offered. "But I don't want to get you into trouble either."

"Yes please duct tape get it best teacher ever thank you," said Gwen because screw her grade.

Clint laughed and dug around in his bag until he found a roll of duct tape. Most of it had been used to patch arrows and such together (and also wounds, but shhh there was no blood to prove that) but there was still more than enough tape on the roll for a droid baby. "Here, try this," he said, tossing the roll to Gwen. "And sleep well, I hope."

"I'm sending you a gift basket," she said, gleefully taking the tape and opening her bag to shut the kid up. Mother of the year!

Isabela had actually brought her driod baby to class instead of continuing to leave it the closet, mostly because there had to be some way to torment Clint with it.

Which would be why she kept looking from the thing to him with a thoughtful expression on her face.

"Oh, you have a baby too? Are you enjoying motherhood?"

Clint, this was why she tormented you, really.

It certainly didn't make her inclined to go easy on him.

"I might enjoy it more if the father stepped up." She held the baby up in a way that made it obvious she was comparing its features and his. "The family resemblance is uncanny."

Clint resisted the urge to roll his eyes, but only barely. "No part of me is mechanical, so you might want to look in that direction for the father."

"That's the kind of thing a man who'd abandoned a young mother would say."

"You don't want me to be the father of your child. I'd be a terrible dad," Clint said. Maybe playing along wouldn't be so bad. "You're better off with a good man who will treat you right."

That argument fell on deaf ears, the fact that if Isabela had actually cared even vaguely about treating the thing's welfare like a real child's it wouldn't have spent most of the last week in her closet being only one reason why.

"Oh, I don't want a good man. I just don't think it's particularly fair that I'm expected to carry and raise the babe while you merrily skip out on the consequences."

"I'm not dealing with any consequences until I get a paternity test," Clint said with a nod. "I'm not your only teacher, after all."

A what?

"Are you suggesting I'm lying about your involvement?"

That you were lying might have something to do with it, Isabela.

"Yeah, that's pretty much what I'm saying," Clint said, doing his best to manage a straight face. "You're a nice girl, but I can guarantee I'm not the person you're looking for."

Isabela directly addressed the driod for the first time in the entire week. "I'm sorry, but it seems your father is a complete arse."

A statement that conveniently applied to all the men involved.

Okay folks, how do we make this baby-carrying thing fair?

"It'd be nice if he could carry it half the time. Or, heck, the whole time, like a seahorse. It's his fault, anyway," Ada offered helpfully.

"How about this," said Gwen. "The guy gets childbirth and the weight gain. I think that's an awesome deal."

"Not that I disagree, but where would it come out?" Isabela knew perfectly well what the most logical place would be, she just wanted all the guys to have to figure it out as well.

"Don't care," Gwen said immediately.

Before or after class.

Kitty was bored, and it was too early for the bar, so she headed to Clint's class with coffee. "How's it going?"

"If I got you pregnant, would you want me to carry the baby instead?" That was how it was going, Kitty.

"...Why, can you do that?" she asked slowly.

"If the girls in this class ever rule the world, maybe," Clint said. "How are you doing?"

"I was bored but now I wanna hear about your baby-carrying plans," she said, holding his coffee out to him.

"There will be a lot of whining and complaining," Clint said, taking the coffee with a grin. "It would ruin my figure."

"I'm remembering you said that when the day comes that I'm sobbing at you over how my jeans don't fit anymore," she told him.

Edited 2015-09-29 22:20 (UTC)

"I'll try to remember to be sympathetic and ply you with ice cream," Clint said, "or whatever else you want at the time."

"And then we get to see how sympathetic you can be when I'm probably being a hormonal bitch, sorry in advance," she teased.

I love you all, as usual. :D

Hahaha, I'm so glad you went with it. :D

<333333

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Sex Ed, Tuesday, 3rd Period

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