fandomhigh | Advanced Journalism (Wednesday, February 8, 3rd period)

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journalism

Advanced Journalism (Wednesday, February 8, 3rd period)

Rita sat behind her desk studying a book entitled 50 Signs of Mental Illness : A Guide to Understanding Mental Health.

Across the board in sparkling purple letters were instructions:

Work on the obituaries.

Do not attempt to be any nationality but your own.

If Nigel van Susteren shows up, he is advised to leave before he finds out what it's like to be a ~~scarab beetle~~ ~~cockroach~~ canary.

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Rita just stared.

"I am not your mother. Thank God."

John smiles sweetly.

"Except yesterday you said your child's name was Jonathan which is long for John which is my name. Mom, don't remember the eighteen hours of childbirth you went through?"

Rory began to look through her bag for candy to feed whatever wee animal John became today.

"Little Jonathan is two years old," Rita said quickly. "Are you two years old?"

"You had a kid at the age of 58?" John boggles. "I'm your child by that wild affair you had with the copy editor from that lowly tabloid."

"I'm fo - er, thirty-six!" Rita said, annoyed. "Magical people age much better, anyway. I know a man who's at least one hundred and fifty years old. And I've no idea what you're talking about."

"You're forty five?" John crinkles his nose. "Mom, I had no idea you were that old. Seemed like just yesterday you were tucking me into bed and then going off for a wild night of the town."

"All right. Then, oh son of mine, I'm acting as your guardian and grounding you," Rita said sardonically.

"Unfortunately, that's not gonna happen," John says. "See, we're estranged, you and I. You love your work more than me and I love my socks more than you. Plus, the last name Skeeter sounds like some ugly bug. I prefer my foster parent's last name."

Rita blanched a little, but shook it off.

"Fine. If we're so estranged, then you may stop addressing me as your mother."

"What, we can't reconcile? I'm sure this would go a long way in Dad's mind of possibly giving you a second chance?"

And he stands and spreads his arms. "C'mon, how bout a hug?"

Rita looked horrified.

"Ah, Mom, this could be our moment, our time, our special connection," John says, clasping his hands together. "We could be a family again!"

'Erm. No," Rita said. "Sit down, Mr. Crichton."

John actually listens...kind of.

He sits down, puts his head on his desk and starts to bawl. "My mother doesn't love me," he cries, sniffling and coughing on the desk. "Nobody loves me!"

Rita was getting bored.

So she turned him into a tiny baby meerkat.

Chloe manages to ignore John's plight for about 30 seconds, before going over and picking him up. "Thank you for turning him into something smaller than an elephant," she says to Rita. "He's a lot less violent this way."

"Quieter, too," Rita noted, going back to her book.

Rory offered the wee meerkat an Oreo.

John is furry. Dammit!

Well, sweets were good so John takes the Oreo and nibbles on it. And tries to look cute. And glares at Professor Skeeter all in one pose!

Rory pet the tiny meerkat John. "Aww."

And look, there's her phone. Picture time!

If John could talk, he would totally protest to this picture taking that's been happening lately.

So, he attempts to speak but is only able to wave his hand in the air and look confused.

"Aw, lookit, he's dancing!" Rory said happily.

John scowls but it doesn't translate very well on a meerkat's face.

For this, he will get revenge on Professor Skeeter. So, he jumps off the desk and snakes his way over to where she's reading, trying to be stealthy.

Rita totally saw him coming but ignored him.

Probably a bad move.

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