The Science of Sexuality, Monday

[justhisblogger.livejournal.com]

There was a friendly little basket of condoms right next to the door when students filed into the classroom this morning. Because the teachers cared about your safety.

Well. John cared about it. Sherlock wanted to keep you all out of the gene pool.

"Birth control, as none of you were aware a few weekends ago, comes in various forms," Sherlock began lazily. Someone had also had a holiday filled with crimes and cases. He'd even been shot at! Best. Vacation. Ever. "The obvious condoms, diaphragms, pills, surgeries, and of course abstinence--ask Ms Fabray if you wish--one of which should always be employed unless you plan on caring for a child for more than one weekend."

Hell, even John looked a lot less twitchy and a lot more satisfied with himself and the world in general. He'd gotten his adrenaline fix over the week, and that always made him feel miles better.

... Shut up, it was healthy. "Of course, none of these methods are a hundred percent perfect if you want to avoid having children, except for the abstinence," he said, matter-of-factly. "That's why it's usually best to use a combination of these means of birth control. Condoms can tear, or have holes in them, or react badly to certain oils, or even simply slip off. You run about a two percent chance of getting someone pregnant if you use them. Likewise, the contraceptive pill has a pregnancy rate of two to eight percent. Most problems with the pill occur because the wrong instructions have been given, or you've simply followed them wrong."

"You will be pairing off to practice with the condom. Really, John? Is this necessary?" Sherlock was not impressed with this plan.

"Absolutely," John said, straight faced. Though there was probably a reason why they were in a classroom with faucets...

Comments

Sign In

[justhisblogger.livejournal.com]

With protection!

Re: Sign In

[shes-got-legs.livejournal.com]

Princess Ariel

Re: Sign In

[icecoldfrost]

Emma Frost

Re: Sign In

[chief-cheerio.livejournal.com]

Quinn Fabray

Listen to the Lecture

[justhisblogger.livejournal.com]

That's what it's there for.

Re: Listen to the Lecture

[chief-cheerio.livejournal.com]

Seriously, two percent? Quinn got so distracted focusing on that, and how she probably needed to pee on a stick, that she was unable to look properly smug about the abstinence shout-out.

Re: Listen to the Lecture

[tripledmyself.livejournal.com]

Nathan had expected the safe sex lecture at some points so, as soon as it started, he half paid attention and half wondered what sorts of balloon animals you could make out of condoms. It would probably depend on the size. Magnums would make great poodles.

Re: Listen to the Lecture

[faithandscience.livejournal.com]

William... was kind of goggling at the condoms, actually. They were so thin. How did they not tear more often?

Re: Listen to the Lecture

[glacial_queen]

Why didn't they all just drink magical tea like civilized people, Karla would never know.

Except for that whole 'lack of Craft' thing. Whatever.

Activity: Water Balloons!

[justhisblogger.livejournal.com]

...Sort of.

Pair off and grab some condoms. Fill them up like water balloons. A small percentage of them have holes in them, so be careful - you're allowed to splash each other if the condom's fine, but if there's a hole, you're done!

Water-proof coats available beforehand.

Re: Activity: Water Balloons!

[shes-got-legs.livejournal.com]

Wait, wait, wait. So the point of the exercise was to fill up the condoms like water balloons?

Just when Ariel was worried she was getting bored with this class, something like this came around. She grabbed a handful and didn't even care if she wound up with some holes, because that would make it even more fun!

She may have been missing the point, though. That's what you get for introducing an element of water and getting wet into the mix.

Re: Activity: Water Balloons!

[tripledmyself.livejournal.com]

"Planning on starting a condom war?" Nathan asked, wandering over. "That's a lot of fucking condoms right there. I'm impressed by your dedication to the activity."

Re: Activity: Water Balloons!

[shes-got-legs.livejournal.com]

"Better safe than sorry!" Ariel chirped. "And, seriously, did they really think this through? Did they really say to themselves, 'Let's give a bunch of teenagers some condoms and tell them to fill them with water,' and not expect a war to break out?"

And then she giggled, ducking her head closer to Nathan as she lowered her voice, "You think I could get one of the teachers with one?"

Re: Activity: Water Balloons!

[onlymistaken]

Fine, Cally's first condom sprung a leak. Fair enough.

The odds on the second one also spitting water the moment she placed it under the faucet, though...

The third, at least, was different.

It exploded in her hands, instead.

"Oh, honestly! My people reproduce by cloning. What exactly are you trying to teach me, Fandom?"

Re: Activity: Water Balloons!

[theotherpeter.livejournal.com]

"...your people reproduce by cloning?" Peter said, instantly more interested in what Cally had said than anything having to do with condoms. "So either you're from some super-sterile or one gendered future or... not human?"

Re: Activity: Water Balloons!

[onlymistaken]

"Not human," Cally said, nodding. "And from the future. We do have two genders, though, and we can reproduce the natural way. We just don't, for the most part."

Re: Activity: Water Balloons!

[willbethenight.livejournal.com]

Bruce grabbed a few condoms and started to fit one over a faucet. He was considering double bagging it, so to speak, but that almost seemed like cheating the idea of discovery. He'd wait a little bit to double up.

Talk to the Teachers

[justhisblogger.livejournal.com]

Both of which are in at least tolerable spirits this week. Mmm, murder.

Re: Talk to the Teachers

[justhisblogger.livejournal.com]

John was actually in really good spirits indeed, though he was feeling a little homesick.

He might've missed London like one could miss a limb.

Re: Talk to the Teachers

[shes-got-legs.livejournal.com]

They had divided (http://community.livejournal.com/fandomhigh/2763766.html?thread=175352054#t175352054) and now Ariel and Nathan hoped to conquer, now that their condoms were successfully filled with water and tied to make balloons, and the only thing missing were targets for them.

And targets in the form of teachers were easily found. On the cry of three, Ariel launched hers at Dr. Watson.

Re: Talk to the Teachers

[3patchproblem.livejournal.com]

Ah, London.

Sherlock was quiet and calm for a change. This could not last long.

Re: Talk to the Teachers

[tripledmyself.livejournal.com]

It hadn't been that hard to talk him into it so Ariel suggesting (http://community.livejournal.com/fandomhigh/2763766.html?thread=175352054#t175352054) they throw the water filled condoms at the teachers was met with quick agreement from Nathan's end of things.

As soon as he heard the word 'three', he slung his condom at Professor Holmes, unable to keep a freaking huge grin off his face.

Re: Talk to the Teachers

[shes-got-legs.livejournal.com]

"I guess I have to come to you for detention, Mr. Holmes," Ariel announced, looking very distraught and irritated over the whole situation. "For doing something that my teachers should have had the good sense to tell us not to do if they didn't want us doing it."

OOC

[justhisblogger.livejournal.com]

Why am I so tired right now?

Re: OOC

[onlymistaken]

Because you live in a ridiculous timezone. Not fake. Just ridiculous.