fandomhigh | The Science of Sexuality, Monday

There was a friendly little basket of condoms right next to the door when students filed into the classroom this morning. Because the teachers cared about your safety.

Well. John cared about it. Sherlock wanted to keep you all out of the gene pool.

"Birth control, as none of you were aware a few weekends ago, comes in various forms," Sherlock began lazily. Someone had also had a holiday filled with crimes and cases. He'd even been shot at! Best. Vacation. Ever. "The obvious condoms, diaphragms, pills, surgeries, and of course abstinence--ask Ms Fabray if you wish--one of which should always be employed unless you plan on caring for a child for more than one weekend."

Hell, even John looked a lot less twitchy and a lot more satisfied with himself and the world in general. He'd gotten his adrenaline fix over the week, and that always made him feel miles better.

... Shut up, it was healthy. "Of course, none of these methods are a hundred percent perfect if you want to avoid having children, except for the abstinence," he said, matter-of-factly. "That's why it's usually best to use a combination of these means of birth control. Condoms can tear, or have holes in them, or react badly to certain oils, or even simply slip off. You run about a two percent chance of getting someone pregnant if you use them. Likewise, the contraceptive pill has a pregnancy rate of two to eight percent. Most problems with the pill occur because the wrong instructions have been given, or you've simply followed them wrong."

"You will be pairing off to practice with the condom. Really, John? Is this necessary?" Sherlock was not impressed with this plan.

"Absolutely," John said, straight faced. Though there was probably a reason why they were in a classroom with faucets...

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John was actually in really good spirits indeed, though he was feeling a little homesick.

He might've missed London like one could miss a limb.

They had divided (http://community.livejournal.com/fandomhigh/2763766.html?thread=175352054#t175352054) and now Ariel and Nathan hoped to conquer, now that their condoms were successfully filled with water and tied to make balloons, and the only thing missing were targets for them.

And targets in the form of teachers were easily found. On the cry of three, Ariel launched hers at Dr. Watson.

Dr. Watson may have been a soldier a few years ago, but that didn't mean his ducking skills were that much better. ...A little better, though, which explained why about half the water content of that balloon splashed all over the wall, instead of over Dr. Watson's face, where the rest of it wound up.

He was immediately alert. Mostly by ducking instinctively into a combat-ready position.

Give him a few seconds.

John wasn't the only one who was ducking. Ariel, as soon as the balloon left her hand, ducked down below the desks, as if that would help eradicate the possibility of being found out, and trying to tug Nathan down (http://community.livejournal.com/fandomhigh/2763766.html?thread=175364854#t175364854) with her.

Of course, the desperate attempts not to giggle were probably a give-away.

After spending a second or two groping for a gun he didn't have, John... slowly came back into reality. Not a battlefield, just a classroom, and a student tittering behind a desk.

"Ariel!"

Yeah, she was never very good at sneaky.

With the decency to blush, Ariel peeked up from the other side of the desk with as innocent a look as she could muster.

"Yes, Dr. Watson?"

Man, he sounded like her father.

"What," John said, dripping wet and thankfully still a few inches away from the edge of flashbacking to something dramatic or something, "Do you think you are doing."

Probably not doing away with the father impression, there.

Nope, not in the slightest.

Ariel bit her lip and straightened up with confidence. She'd been asked that questions many times in the past and so she had quite a well-practiced bright-eyed look to go along with answering. "We were curious as to the durability of the condoms in extreme situations, Dr. Watson," she said, shrugging her shoulders to help add to the impression of insatiable teenage curiosity.

"And I'm sure none of that had anything to do with wanting to have a bit of fun at the expense of your teachers," John said, flatly. He was Not Very Amused, no. "Give me a good reason not to give you detention."

And that quirked Ariel's eyebrow a little.

"You never said they couldn't be thrown," she pointed out. "If you hand a bunch of teenagers condoms and have them fill them with water and don't want them thrown, then, really, you should make that more clear."

"I would think that don't throw water balloons at your teachers would be fairly self-evident!" John snapped.

Maybe he should sign her up for detention with Sherlock. That'd rub out some of the smart-aleccy streak, right?

Clearly, John didn't know Ariel very well at all.

"It's not exactly fair," said Ariel, turning a bit petulant, "for me to be punished for some else's presumptions."

"It is when any--" Don't say idiot, she's a kid, "--fool would be able to figure it out. Now do you know what you did wrong, or are you going to try and get out by being pedantic? Because it won't work."

He wasn't made to be a teacher.

"I didn't do anything wrong!" Ariel insisted, because that was easier than admitting that she didn't know what pedantic meant. "There's nothing that says there's anything wrong with using what was given to you. Honestly, who gives kids an assignment like this and doesn't expect someone to make water balloons out of them? Really, Dr. Watson? Weren't you seventeen once?"

"The idea was to make water balloons and keep them between you and your fellow students," John said. He was quickly starting to make room for a place in his head he could deposit Ariel-shaped headaches. "Right. I believe Sherlock's running a detention soon."

"So, you're saying it would have been fine if I threw it at, oh, let's say Nathan or Quinn or Cally or Emma or Bruce or Peter, just so long as it wasn't you or Mr. Holmes?" Ariel asked, and now she really was being stubborn about it. Just be glad you didn't have a great big beard and a pitchfork, John. "Again, that could have been much clearly, Doctor."

"As long as you'd agreed on it, as per teaming up for the exercise," John said, then realised he was arguing with a seventeen-year-old. "It was clear enough. Report to Sherlock for your detention."

"That is so not fair!" Ariel insisted. "You can't even give the detention out yourself, I have to go talk to Mr. Holmes about it? Lame, lame, and lame some more, ohmygosh!"

But it should be noted that she was stomping off now anyway. Any good argument ended with her shouting something of that nature and storming off, so it was definitely a success.

The Science of Sexuality, Monday

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