http://justhisblogger.livejournal.com/ ([identity profile] justhisblogger.livejournal.com) wrote in [community profile] fandomhigh2011-02-28 05:49 pm
Entry tags:

The Science of Sexuality, Monday

There was a friendly little basket of condoms right next to the door when students filed into the classroom this morning. Because the teachers cared about your safety.

Well. John cared about it. Sherlock wanted to keep you all out of the gene pool.

"Birth control, as none of you were aware a few weekends ago, comes in various forms," Sherlock began lazily. Someone had also had a holiday filled with crimes and cases. He'd even been shot at! Best. Vacation. Ever. "The obvious condoms, diaphragms, pills, surgeries, and of course abstinence--ask Ms Fabray if you wish--one of which should always be employed unless you plan on caring for a child for more than one weekend."

Hell, even John looked a lot less twitchy and a lot more satisfied with himself and the world in general. He'd gotten his adrenaline fix over the week, and that always made him feel miles better.

... Shut up, it was healthy. "Of course, none of these methods are a hundred percent perfect if you want to avoid having children, except for the abstinence," he said, matter-of-factly. "That's why it's usually best to use a combination of these means of birth control. Condoms can tear, or have holes in them, or react badly to certain oils, or even simply slip off. You run about a two percent chance of getting someone pregnant if you use them. Likewise, the contraceptive pill has a pregnancy rate of two to eight percent. Most problems with the pill occur because the wrong instructions have been given, or you've simply followed them wrong."

"You will be pairing off to practice with the condom. Really, John? Is this necessary?" Sherlock was not impressed with this plan.

"Absolutely," John said, straight faced. Though there was probably a reason why they were in a classroom with faucets...

Re: Talk to the Teachers

[identity profile] 3patchproblem.livejournal.com 2011-03-01 12:37 am (UTC)(link)
"And what was the theory?"

Re: Talk to the Teachers

[identity profile] tripledmyself.livejournal.com 2011-03-01 12:48 am (UTC)(link)
"The theory was..." He paused and glanced at Ariel. "...that giving students condom and letting them make water balloons is a really, really bad idea. Really, we were just teaching you lot a lesson."

Granted, it wasn't a good theory.

Re: Talk to the Teachers

[identity profile] 3patchproblem.livejournal.com 2011-03-01 12:52 am (UTC)(link)
It was unique, at least.

Sherlock was just going to stare at him for a moment or two, thank you.

Re: Talk to the Teachers

[identity profile] tripledmyself.livejournal.com 2011-03-01 12:54 am (UTC)(link)
Nathan would just stare back, then. Really, there was no good excuse for doing what he did but Nathan was a little unhinged and just didn't care what he did most days.

He made some sounds with his lips and mouth and swung his arms while he waited.

Re: Talk to the Teachers

[identity profile] 3patchproblem.livejournal.com 2011-03-01 01:00 am (UTC)(link)
"I'm sorry, I was hoping a brain would spontaneously appear between your ears," Sherlock drawled. "No luck as of yet. Detention."

Re: Talk to the Teachers

[identity profile] tripledmyself.livejournal.com 2011-03-01 01:11 am (UTC)(link)
"Detention? Really?" Nathan asked, frowning. "You sure you don't wanna reconsider? I mean, I did formulate a theory for this!"

Re: Talk to the Teachers

[identity profile] 3patchproblem.livejournal.com 2011-03-01 01:12 am (UTC)(link)
"I could always consult with Doctor Watson. I'm sure he could use help at the clinic if you wanted."

Re: Talk to the Teachers

[identity profile] tripledmyself.livejournal.com 2011-03-01 01:17 am (UTC)(link)
"Would his detention be better than yours?" Nathan asked, always willing to take the easier choice.

Re: Talk to the Teachers

[identity profile] 3patchproblem.livejournal.com 2011-03-01 01:18 am (UTC)(link)
"That wasn't an 'either or' scenario," Sherlock replied kindly.

Re: Talk to the Teachers

[identity profile] tripledmyself.livejournal.com 2011-03-01 01:28 am (UTC)(link)
"So, I take your detention or his?" Nathan guessed, scratching his head. "I can't take what's behind door number 3 in the hopes that it's a brand new car?"

Re: Talk to the Teachers

[identity profile] 3patchproblem.livejournal.com 2011-03-01 01:30 am (UTC)(link)
"I shudder to think of you being trusted with a car."

Re: Talk to the Teachers

[identity profile] tripledmyself.livejournal.com 2011-03-01 01:35 am (UTC)(link)
"Hey, I am great with a car," Nathan said, making a face. "It's the cars that always fuck up or fall apart. I can't help if it the craftsmanship from America is totally fucking shoddy."

Re: Talk to the Teachers

[identity profile] 3patchproblem.livejournal.com 2011-03-01 01:38 am (UTC)(link)
"Yes, I'm certain that's the problem."

Re: Talk to the Teachers

[identity profile] tripledmyself.livejournal.com 2011-03-01 01:40 am (UTC)(link)
Professor Holmes was such a pleasant person. Nathan rolled his eyes. Whatever, he was awesome and this bloke just couldn't see it. "I'll take your detention mostly because I don't want to run the risk of having to look at STD's under a microscope with the other guy."

Re: Talk to the Teachers

[identity profile] 3patchproblem.livejournal.com 2011-03-01 01:52 am (UTC)(link)
Professor Holmes was the nicest person ever! A SAINT.

"Excellent." The smile he gave Nathan wasn't exactly friendly. "The Arms Hotel lobby, Saturday morning. Bright and early."

Re: Talk to the Teachers

[identity profile] tripledmyself.livejournal.com 2011-03-01 02:05 am (UTC)(link)
"Yeah, yeah," he said, rolling his eyes again and heading back to his seat. "I'll be there."

He'd have to set an alarm. The horror!