Intergalactic Justice: A Crash Course, Tuesday First Period

[notjustaworm.livejournal.com]

Upon entering the Danger Shop, the students would find a severely disinterested-looking worm sulking somewhere in the corner.

"Oh, hellooo, students," Jim said, when they'd all managed to make their way in and he could manage some scrap of enthusiasm. Some. "I'm supposed to be teaching you. You want a lesson? Community service SUCKS. I mean, what's their problem?! You don't surgically implant fish heads in the middle of an invasion from La Planeta de la Agua (arriba!) or you're going to end up shot, it's not rocket science or anything."

He took a moment to consider it. "And in terms of fashion it's reeeeally gauche." Ew. Fishheads. "Unless you're a Giant Furbearing Trout. Oh!" He leapt up to his feet, "Teaching. Riiiight. So going by the radio I figure you'll all be wanting to tell me stuff about yourselves. Be a little quick about it or I'll miss the first few minutes of my show and then I'll be really CHEESED OFF."

He took a breath to compose himself. "If you look at the table in front of you, you'll find a couple of blasters. If we're going to be dealing with Intergalactic Justice, you're going to want to figure out how those work. They come in really handy, kind of like this--"

A target in the shape of a cow popped up out of nowhere.

"EAT DIRT, YOU BOVINE INSULT TO ALL THINGS NATURAL!" Bursting into a round of malicious laughter, he reduced the target to a smoking crisp in a flurry of blasts.

Then he put the blaster back. "Alright, now it's your turn, kids."

More cow targets popped up. Jim just threw himself back in his chair and tried to look bored.

[ OCD up! ]

Comments

Shoot the Targets

[notjustaworm.livejournal.com]

Jim will critique your performance accordingly. Really.

Re: Shoot the Targets

[ihaveniceteeth.livejournal.com]

Gwen quickly picked up and aimed the blaster, then paused. "Why are we shooting the cows?"

Re: Shoot the Targets

[notjustaworm.livejournal.com]

Jim looked up from his magazine. "We'll get to that later," he said, calmly. "Now SHOOT THE DANG BOVINES!"

Re: Shoot the Targets

[cheminthehead.livejournal.com]

The blaster disappeared in Gladys' hands. Her eyes dimmed a little. Handling it very delicately, because crushing it had not been part of the instructions, she managed to wrap her smallest finger around the handle and pointed it at the cows.

Re: Shoot the Targets

[notjustaworm.livejournal.com]

"Learn to fire, walking nutlog!" Jim declared, proudly. He was starting to groove with the whole nutlog idea, "Fire your way to freedom!"

Re: Shoot the Targets

[stupid-toasters.livejournal.com]

Lee picked up the blaster, examined it for a moment just to get a feel for where everything was before taking aim and shooting pretty accurately. He could definitely do better but he didn't suck.

Re: Shoot the Targets

[notjustaworm.livejournal.com]

Jim was watching. He squinted. "Faster!" he decided, "Faster! Come on, that's no way to shoot a cow!"

Re: Shoot the Targets

[sarcasm-guy.livejournal.com]

Sokka cackled madly and fired a constant stream of blaster bolts, decimating the cows.

Re: Shoot the Targets

[notjustaworm.livejournal.com]

"Oooo!" Jim was grinning. "I like your panache, wolftail."

Re: Shoot the Targets

[repeterpetrelli.livejournal.com]

"How is this justice?" Peter asked.

Re: Shoot the Targets

[notjustaworm.livejournal.com]

"Shooting the cows first, questions later," Jim said, delicately.

Re: Shoot the Targets

[lordofthecats.livejournal.com]

Lion-o picked up a blaster, but he looked a little confused. "It doesn't seem really fair to shoot the cows. They haven't done anything wrong," he protested.

Re: Shoot the Targets

[notjustaworm.livejournal.com]

"Just wait until you rescue your first princess," Jim said, with the air of experience, "Then you'll see behind their dull, brainless facade."

Re: Shoot the Targets

[intraspective]

"Are cows seriously the bad guys where you're from?" Ino asked off-handedly as she picked up a blaster, took aim, and shot at one of the cows.

Re: Shoot the Targets

[notjustaworm.livejournal.com]

"Mostly they're just unaligned forces of chaos out to randomly destroy stuff right after you've rescued it," Jim said, conversationally.

Re: Shoot the Targets

[ktarian-wildman.livejournal.com]

Naomi picked up a blaster but before she aimed it to fire at the cows she asked, "is there a reason why we're shooting at the cows?"

Re: Shoot the Targets

[notjustaworm.livejournal.com]

Jim lifted an eyebrow at her. "Yes."

Re: Shoot the Targets

[likethegun]

Sam picked up the blaster, eying it. "Just so you know, cows aren't really considered a threat here," he said. "Usually, they just stand around and moo."

Re: Shoot the Targets

[morpherboy.livejournal.com]

"I don't like guns." Marco said, after looking back and forth between the blaster and the ... teacher.

Re: Shoot the Targets

[thankgoditsme.livejournal.com]

Friday looked at his blaster, then at the teacher. "What if the cows have guns and shoot back?"

Re: Shoot the Targets

[notyourpawn.livejournal.com]

It wasn't a knife, but a gun just required a different mindset. Alice narrowed her eyes at the cows and aimed.

She only stopped shooting when there was less "target" than "holes" left, and at that, it was with a sigh. No more cow to shoot.

Re: Shoot the Targets

[bob-ofhydra.livejournal.com]

Bob carefully looked at the blaster he had picked.

"So, how much for one of this?"

"Oh and... could we save one of the cows for a bbq?" Bob asked.

Re: Shoot the Targets

[futureclone]

Alex picked up the blaster, sighed, and popped off three shots. All would hve been kill shots if this was, you know, an actual cow. "Will there be anything else, sir?"

Re: Shoot the Targets

[time-flyer-5.livejournal.com]

Jen tried not to shoot too well, and it kind of annoyed her that she was deliberately missing a few times. If she was right and this was really a younger Alex, he'd notice that she wasn't the lousy shot she'd been in the Academy.

Re: Shoot the Targets

[key-of-heart.livejournal.com]

It was a lot smaller than a keyblade, but the principle was the same, wasn't it?

Still, Sora seemed to be having a lot of fun shooting the cow standees.