Love Smart: Period 2, Week 2

[suit-of-awesome.livejournal.com]

Barney leaned against the whiteboard while the students took their seats. “So. Relationships. Whatever. Today we’re going to focus on the getting part of the relationship for the benefit of those of you who need a hook-up or who wish to trade up,” he announced with a grin. Yeah, he listened to the radio. It was great entertainment.

“For those of you who missed my legendary summer workshop, How to Be Awesome, here is a list of pick up lines to try on your own time. I also have video of your classmates' greatest hits in my office should you need a visual reference. Keep in mind these pick up lines were designed with the hot and dirty in mind. Not the deeply emotional relationships you teens seem intent on having." That last bit might have been sarcastic and accompanied by wide, grossed-out eyes.

"Now that that bit of business is taken care of, let's discuss how and why we choose our significant others."

"Couples: Why did you select your partner as 'The One' for you? Was it for their looks? Because hell yeah, you want someone you can stand to stare at for days on end. Was it for their money? Because of... feelings?" He looked at them sadly, because really, they should be out there having meaningless sex. It was a tragedy.

Focusing in on those lucky enough to be without an SO, Barney addressed the class studs loners. "Singles: How and where do you find a mate? Any alternatives to finding 'The One'? Let's discuss!"

[ooc: Wait for OCD is up! The questions are open to all for reply and discussion! Go Swarley!]

Comments

Alternatives

[suit-of-awesome.livejournal.com]

DISCUSS!

What are the alternatives to 'The One'?

Re: Alternatives

[multi-madrox.livejournal.com]

"If we can't find 'The One' how are we to know that 'The Two' or 'The Three aren't hiding too?" Jamie asked.

Re: Alternatives

[willbedone.livejournal.com]

"And why must it be so math-centric?" Willow replied. "Couldn't we be looking for the 'A' or the 'B'? Though then it's really unfair to the LMNOPs of the world, because they never get to come first."

Re: Alternatives

[multi-madrox.livejournal.com]

"And what about the cyrrilic alphabet?" Jamie continued. "What if there's a Б, Г, Д, Є, Ж out there waiting for us and we just can't find them because we don't know the cyrrilic alphabet?"

Re: Alternatives

[willbedone.livejournal.com]

"It'd be awful!" Willow said.

Re: Alternatives

[multi-madrox.livejournal.com]

"I think Mr. Stinson should teach us foreign alphabets just in case our person of interest is in another country. Don't you think so Willow?"

Re: Alternatives

[vkandis-son.livejournal.com]

"If you commit your life to searching for some ideal of what love is, then you will likely grow old, alone and sad," Karal said. "It is important to open yourself to what is around you."

Re: Alternatives

[suit-of-awesome.livejournal.com]

"That's right, Al! Play the field," Barney thought Al would've done well in How to Be Awesome.

Re: Alternatives

[misshargrove.livejournal.com]

"I'm not answering this question." Pause. "My leg hurts."

Re: Alternatives

[surferboy-09er.livejournal.com]

"Hookers." Dick said. What? It was a joke. Except not really, if you could find a clean one.

Re: Alternatives

[misshargrove.livejournal.com]

Annette gave Dick a buhhh look, then her head hit her desk.

Re: Alternatives

[surferboy-09er.livejournal.com]

Dick gave her a 'what?' look. It was a joke!

Re: Alternatives

[misshargrove.livejournal.com]

She looked over, cheek pressed to desk and waved her hand, mumbling. "You can have a hooker. I deserve that." Pause. "Are there hookers on this island?"

Re: Alternatives

[surferboy-09er.livejournal.com]

"Not anymore. And I was kidding." he said. Jeez, some people couldn't take a joke.

Re: Alternatives

[fat-halpert.livejournal.com]

Jim frowned. That was going to he his answer.

Re: Alternatives

[comelyhonour.livejournal.com]

Beauty was starting to feel a little bit snarky. Possibly because this class made her head hurt.

"You can always become a nun."

Re: Alternatives

[suit-of-awesome.livejournal.com]

"Interesting kink," Barney nodded.

Re: Alternatives

[comelyhonour.livejournal.com]

"Um..."

Okay, no, maybe Beauty would just let that go and not ask.

Re: Alternatives

[fat-halpert.livejournal.com]

"I've got to go with Dick here. Hookers," Jim said. "More than one of them, just to be sure."

Re: Alternatives

[suit-of-awesome.livejournal.com]

"Why pay for sex when women give it away for free all the time?" Barney asked.

Re: Alternatives

[fat-halpert.livejournal.com]

"Because I'm confident that I can show them such a good time that they give the money back?" Jim tried.

Re: Alternatives

[suit-of-awesome.livejournal.com]

"HAHAHA!" Barney laughed loudly. "Would you give the money back?"

Re: Alternatives

[lilpunkinbelly.livejournal.com]

"A dull meaningless existence sleeping with anyone who looks good in a leather duster?" Dawn volunteered.

Re: Alternatives

[suit-of-awesome.livejournal.com]

"What's dull about that?" Barney asked. He looked pretty good in a leather duster. Not that he'd wear one when he looked this hot in a suit, but still.

Re: Alternatives

[lilpunkinbelly.livejournal.com]

She actually wasn't sure. It didn't sound good to her, but it didn't sound dull either. "It's empty."

If Buffy had ever really talked to her about Spike, she might have been able to articulate better.