fandomhigh | Love Smart: Period 2, Week 2

Barney leaned against the whiteboard while the students took their seats. “So. Relationships. Whatever. Today we’re going to focus on the getting part of the relationship for the benefit of those of you who need a hook-up or who wish to trade up,” he announced with a grin. Yeah, he listened to the radio. It was great entertainment.

“For those of you who missed my legendary summer workshop, How to Be Awesome, here is a list of pick up lines to try on your own time. I also have video of your classmates' greatest hits in my office should you need a visual reference. Keep in mind these pick up lines were designed with the hot and dirty in mind. Not the deeply emotional relationships you teens seem intent on having." That last bit might have been sarcastic and accompanied by wide, grossed-out eyes.

"Now that that bit of business is taken care of, let's discuss how and why we choose our significant others."

"Couples: Why did you select your partner as 'The One' for you? Was it for their looks? Because hell yeah, you want someone you can stand to stare at for days on end. Was it for their money? Because of... feelings?" He looked at them sadly, because really, they should be out there having meaningless sex. It was a tragedy.

Focusing in on those lucky enough to be without an SO, Barney addressed the class ~~studs~~ loners. "Singles: How and where do you find a mate? Any alternatives to finding 'The One'? Let's discuss!"

[ooc: ~~Wait for~~ OCD is up! The questions are open to all for reply and discussion! Go Swarley!]

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"You know, there are people who survive from STD's." he said, grinning. "Look at Paris Hilton, I'm pretty sure she has herpes and she's still kicking."

"Yeah, you're right. I guess it's just easier imagining people on the streets dying."

Change of subject. "Dick?"

"Yeah?"

"I'm taking myself to the doctor today."

"For your legs?" Dick said hopefully. All that talk of STDs freaked him out.

She paused and looked at him all serious like. Should she tease him or not? Hmm.

"Among other things."

In her position, she really shouldn't be. "What other kinds of things?"

In her position, she shouldn't and knew it.

"Pain pills."

"Oh." Dick looked visably relieved. "Hey, you never know. The doctor might give you the good kind of pain pills and you can be all loopy."

"Are you going to offer to take care of me if that happens?" She felt like she had to ask him these things now.

Hell, if that happened Dick would ask for some pills of his own. "Hell yeah. Have you ever taken strong pain pills before? You sleep most of the time but before you pass out it's awesome."

She shook her head. "No, but I'm going to try and get some because I just can't take this pain. It's hurting my head even and I'm sorry, but I don't think I can play your hypothetical hooker anytime soon, although I'm sure real hookers have all kinds of bruises."

She rubbed the back of her head. "My head might hurt from the hair pulling though."

Dick nodded in agreement. Hookers led a tough life. Probably why they're hookers.

"Aw, I'm sorry." Wait. No. He wasn't supposed to be sorry!

She pouted at that look. He wasn't sorry. She knew he wasn't sorry. She slumped down in her chair, ready to crawl under her desk and stay there forever.

"What's wrong?" He thought his sorry was convincing.

But the look wasn't. At least she didn't think so.

"I just want to make you happy again and it's going to take forever and I don't think I get to live that long."

"It's not going to take forever." he said. He couldn't stay mad for too long. Being mad gives you wrinkles.

"Half of forever?"

"No, probably shorter than that." But he wasn't going to give her an actual timeframe.

She ought to be thankful that he was even talking to her. "Dick?"

"Hmmm?"

She leaned over and whispered again, blushing. "Do you think tonight, that, you might you know, or is it too soon to ask for that?"

"Crap, I would have done it the first night if you asked." he said. Please. A hot chick could have ran over his mother and he'd still sleep with her if she asked.

If Annette had been drinking anything, she would have choked and spit all over herself. "I want to. Tonight. But I don't have the slutty clothes. I have a Tink dress though."

"What's a Tink dress?"

Re: Alternatives

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