fandomhigh | Faculty Party, The Danger Shop, Thursday afternoon through evening

Faculty Party, The Danger Shop, Thursday afternoon through evening

Invitations had ~~handwavily~~ gone out to all Fandom High faculty:
Party on a cruise ship in the comfort of our own shop!
Thursday, May 3!
The Danger Shop!
Faculty Party!

When the faculty members stepped into the Danger Shop, they saw that it did indeed look like the deck of a cruise ship on a nice, sunny day. There was a snazzy buffet, shuffleboard, deck chairs, a string quartet, and much, much more.

And an open bar.

Above the door leading out of the shop was a banner:

But enough of that. Now it was time to boogie.

[OOC: Post is open all day, huzzah! NPCs are completely free to mod. And, um, sorry about the egregious punnery inside the OCD. This is pretty bad even for me.

ETA: Also, if there are any terrible typos or other general errors anywhere, I wrote this at 3:00 AM. You're lucky I strung three words together, let alone a series of painful puns.]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

"She's a singer. Her whiny and angry tones are soothing and not that horrible Celine Dion." Deadpool shuddered. "Plus, according to E!, she's dating that hunky Ryan Reynolds."

He sipped his drink for a moment, trying to think of anything he'd done recently that would call for an angry girlfriend. "Is this about Tex leaving town?"

"Not at all," he said. "I can't bring sexyback with you."

"No, that's Justin Timberlake, completely different-"

Now it was Deadpool's turn to be completely and utterly confused.

"Wait, what?"

"Barring the fact that I have no idea what entails bringing sexyback," he started, "I gather using maple syrup during that sort of exercise would prove both sticky and uncomfortable."

Deadpool was horrified. Kinda turned on, but that was because of an ex who liked maple syrup and yes, it was sticky but oh so fun. Anyway! Mostly horrified.

Like 85% horrified. 10% turned on and about 5% wanting to stab someone.

Times like these where a pie chart would be useful.

"What the hell? Is this some weird RCMP maple syrup fetish thing? Because I really don't swing that way."

"Apparently you do," Fraser replied quickly. "Making big gay love? A relationship like that between two or more adults shouldn't be made to sound like you're making a soufflé."

"But souffles are good!" Wade protested before realizing that he was getting off track. "What are you talking about? Usually I'm the crazy one in red here, not you. Stop trying to steal my title."

"And you're definitely not wearing my hat," Fraser said. "Definitely not. Especially if you seem to like maple syrup as much as you say. I wouldn't want to see my hat sticking to your...self."

That was just cruel. What Canadian child didn't want to wear a mountie hat?

"Crazy talk! Stop talking crazy and tell me why you think I'd want to wear your hat while covered in maple syrup!" Pause. "Can wear the hat without the syrup?"

"What makes you think you're even the type of person I'd let wear my hat?" Fraser asked. "It takes a special person for me to give my hat to. And it's not intended to be sticky! That just defeats the whole purpose."

"I said no syrup! And you let Aly wear the hat." Puppy eyes through a mask, watch him use those emoting skills with a z.

"Aly won my hat in a game," he said. "Difference. She's not asking me to make big gay love with her."

But.... haaat!

"And you're just being crazy because I'm relatively certain that I've never asked you that."

"I'm not being crazy," Fraser replied. "Beer and pizza and sex and other people? Honestly, Professor, wouldn't that just be crowed and messy? Tomato sauce in places where tomato sauce should never be!"

"Oh, you're only saying that because you've never been to an orgy with pizza involved."

Had Deadpool? Best not to ask, really.

"Now I want pizza."

"I'd prefer to keep pizza out of my pants," Fraser said without really thinking.

"Why would you still be wearing pants at an orgy?"

Fraser spluttered. "I wouldn't be at an orgy! I've never been at an orgy!"

Wade patted him on the shoulder. "It's okay. I won't tell anyone that you're an orgy virgin."

"And I suppose you'd teach me if I asked?" Bad bad BAD BAD BAD choice of words.

Very bad.

Deadpool was about to say 'Hell no!' but stopped because there was a hat involved. "As long as I get to wear the hat and there are women involved, sure."

"Charts might actually be bett-" He cut himself off as quickly as he could. "What's so special about my hat that you want to wear it? You're not wearing it to make big gay sex with me. It would just fall off."

"So you want big gay sex without the hat then?" He shook his head. "What Canadian child didn't want to wear one of those hats growing up?"

"Not with you," Fraser said. "No sex. You can't be with me despite your love of maple syrup and beer and pizza and models and my hat. My hat is mine. It stays with me. Only special people get to see my hat."

Deadpool narrowed his eyes. He'd get that hat sometime, damn it.

"Hat!" And with that, he lunged for the aforementioned clothing article.

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