fandomhigh | Friday Afternoon Assembly

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!event: assembly

Friday Afternoon Assembly

Josh stood up on the stage, looking distinctly uncomfortable.

It wasn't like someone had given him a microphone and an audience in a while. Not since the whole "secret plan to fight inflation" thing, anyway.

"Welcome to the first game show at Fandom High," he read from his cue card. "Where the questions are just as cracked out as the school." He raised an eyebrow. "Huh. Today we will be vying teachers against students for bragging rights and pie from Jeff, God of Biscuits. The game will be divided into three sections--much like the US government--though the students will be overrepresented because they know that the teachers at this school will kick their butts otherwise with their superior wit and guile."

Josh grinned. "Let the games begin!"

[OOC: ~~Please wait for the truly excessive OCD~~ Have at it! And yes, I'm insane.]

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"Anyone have any booze?" Josh asked, looking very traumatized. "Just kidding! Mostly!"

He reached for the cue cards.

"Our final round is straight out of Family Feud but without the stupid part where everyone poses on a couch. Actually, we're skipping straight to the lightning round. We asked a hundred residents of Fandom--possibly including squirrels and teal deer, looking at the answers--a series of questions. Our two teams will try to guess the most popular answers."

He grinned. "And our lucky contestants for this final round are Dean Winchester and Door for the students and Ms. Next and Ms. Adair." He pointed towards three soundproof rooms for Daisy, Dean and Door to lock themselves into.

"Thursday," Josh said, "you need to give the first answers that pop into your mind about each of the following five questions.

1) What is the thing the residents of Fandom fear the most?
2) What is the most popular pastry at Jeff, God of Biscuits?
3) What is the song lesat likely to be played by Barbossa?
4) What is the most random thing being sold at All & Sundries?
5) Which Hollywood star is secretly hiding behing V's mask?"

Thursday wasn't entirely sure how she found herself in this position, but she thought it best not to think too hard about it.

She rattled off the first answers that came to mind. Of course, her answers were largely based on listening to the radio.

"Lack of glitter. Pie. God Save the Queen. Flamingo-shaped croquet mallets. Lola Vavoom."

"Let's find what our results say," Josh said, reaching for the cue cards.

"We asked 'What is the thing the residents of Fandom fear the most?' You said 'lack of glitter.' Survey says...22 people agreed with you." Josh grinned. "We asked 'What is the most popular pastry at Jeff, God of Biscuits?' You said 'pie.' Survey says...53 people argreed with you. Well done! We asked 'What is the song least likely to be played by Barbossa?' You said 'God Save the Queen.' Survey says...16 people agreed with you. We asked 'What is the most random thing being sold at All & Sundries?' You said 'flamingo-shaped croquet mallets' and now I want one. Survey says...6 other people find that bizarre. Finally, we asked 'which Hollywood star is secretly hiding behind V's mask?' You said 'Lola Vavoom.' Survey says...pi people agree with you."

Josh stared at the card. "Seriously? Pi? This town...Anyway. Your score comes to 100.14159265...and so on. Good job. That number will be added to your partner's total and the teachers can do a victory dance of joy and extreme coordination."

Josh waited until Thursday was away from the center of the stage before waving Dean on.

"Dean," Josh said, "you need to give the first answers that pop into your mind about each of the following five questions.

1) What is the thing the residents of Fandom fear the most?
2) What is the most popular pastry at Jeff, God of Biscuits?
3) What is the song lesat likely to be played by Barbossa?
4) What is the most random thing being sold at All & Sundries?
5) Which Hollywood star is secretly hiding behing V's mask?"

Dean was just glad there was nothing remotely related to the ballet in his round.

He took a deep breath and answered each question in turn.

1) What is the thing the residents of Fandom fear the most?

"Being bit by a gremlin."

2) What is the most popular pastry at Jeff, God of Biscuits?

Dean shrugged. "Donuts?"

3) What is the song lesat likely to be played by Barbossa?

"Anything by Zanfir."

4) What is the most random thing being sold at All & Sundries?

"A sign that says 'random'?"

5) Which Hollywood star is secretly hiding behing V's mask?"

"Steve McQueen."

"Nicely done," Josh said, then looked down at his cue cards. "Let's see what our survey says. We asked 'What is the thing the residents of Fandom fear the most?' You said 'being bit by a gremlin.' Survey says...17 people agreed with you." Josh frowned at the results. "I wonder if the questions were being asked by gremlins. Moving on. We asked 'What is the most popular pastry at Jeff, God of Biscuits?' You said 'donuts.' Survey says...11 people agree with you. We asked 'What is the song least like to be played by Barbossa?' You said 'anything by Zanfir.' Survey says...17 people also believe that the pirate's not a huge fan of the pan flute. We asked 'What is the most random thing being sold at All & Sundries?' You said 'a sign that says 'random'.' Survey says...18 people are just as literal as you are."

Josh grinned. "Finally, we asked 'Which Hollywood star is secretly hiding behind V's mask. You chose the most excellent Steve McQueen. Survey says...19 people agreed with you. That brings your total to 82 points. Well done! Now you get to wait and see how your partner Door does with the same questions."

Josh waited for Dean to step off stage before waving Daisy on.

"Daisy," Josh said, "you need to give the first answers that pop into your mind about each of the following five questions. If you repeat the answer your partner gave, a gremlin will come out and bite you on the ankle. Or a buzzer will sound. Try not to find out which one actually happens.

1) What is the thing the residents of Fandom fear the most?
2) What is the most popular pastry at Jeff, God of Biscuits?
3) What is the song lesat likely to be played by Barbossa?
4) What is the most random thing being sold at All & Sundries?
5) Which Hollywood star is secretly hiding behind V's mask?"

Daisy examined her french manicure for chips or cracks as she answered.

"Invasion, biscuits of course, You make me feel like a natural woman, whatever the heck as 'squishie' is, and Clark Gable." She answered the questions with absolute conviction, then gave Josh a sunny smile. "How was that?"

Josh smiled back. "They sounded great to me. Let's find out if our survey-takers agreed with you. In our first question we asked 'what is the thing the residents of Fandom fear the most?' You said 'invasion.' Survey says...45 people agreed with you." Josh's grin widened. "We asked 'what is the most popular pastry at Jeff, God of Biscuits?' You said, logically, 'biscuits.' Survey says...31 people agreed with you. We asked 'What is the song least likely to be played by Barbossa?' You said 'You Make Me Feel Like a Natural Woman' and broke something important in my brain with that image. Survey says...9 other people think that would be a terrible choice for the pirate. We asked 'what is the most random thing being sold at All & Sundries?' You said, 'a squishie.' Survey says...27 people also have no idea what that is. Maybe we should ask Marty if they're made of people."

Josh winked at the audience. "Finally, we asked 'Which Hollywood star is secretly hiding behind V's mask. You said 'Clark Gable.' Survey says...9 other people went old Hollywood on this answer. That brings your total to 121, and your team's combined score to 221.14 blahblah pi integers. Go teachers!"

Josh was a tiny bit biased, yes.

"Hey, don't ask the question if you don't want to get important brain bits broken. Did we win?"

Josh waited for Daisy to step off stage before waving Door on.

"Door," Josh said, "you need to give the first answers that pop into your mind about each of the following five questions. If you repeat the answer your partner gave, a gremlin will come out and bite you on the ankle. Or a buzzer will sound. Try not to find out which one actually happens.

1) What is the thing the residents of Fandom fear the most?
2) What is the most popular pastry at Jeff, God of Biscuits?
3) What is the song lesat likely to be played by Barbossa?
4) What is the most random thing being sold at All & Sundries?
5) Which Hollywood star is secretly hiding behind V's mask?"

See? This is why Door would've chosen gremlin!

She shakes her head and answers:

"1. Principal Washburn's wrath.
2. The cream-filled Extra-Long John.
3. Ave Maria
4. ...I'll go with the Tamarind Squishys.
5. There's room for somebody behind V's mask besides V? It's not that big of a mask, so they must be pretty small. Shirley Temple?

"Nice work," Josh praised. "Okay. We asked 'what do the residents of Fandom fear most?' You said 'Principal Washburn's wrath.' Survey says...9 people agree with you." Josh coughed. "Clearly they didn't know about the goat cannon. We asked 'What is the most popular pastry at Jeff, God of Biscuits?' You said 'the cream-filled Extra-Long John.'" Josh paused. "I'm really hoping that's a pastry. Survey says...1 other person has heard of that. We asked 'What is the song least like to be played by Barbossa? You said 'Ave Maria.' I love the Ave Maria! Our survey says...12 people agreed with you. We asked 'What is the most random thing being sold at All & Sundries? You said 'Tamarind Squishies.' I say eww. Our survey says...27 people thought the same thing."

Josh ran a hand through his hair. "And finally, we asked 'Which Hollywood star is secretly hiding behind V's mask. You said 'Shirley Temple.' Survey says...12 people agreed with you. That brings your total up to 61 points. Added to Dean's score, the students add 143 points to their total. Nicely done!"

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Friday Afternoon Assembly

Round Three!

Re: Round Three! Thursday

Re: Round Three! Thursday

Re: Round Three! Thursday

Re: Round Three! Dean

Re: Round Three! Dean

Re: Round Three! Dean

Re: Round Three! Daisy

Re: Round Three! Daisy

Re: Round Three! Daisy

Re: Round Three! Daisy

Re: Round Three! Door

Re: Round Three! Door

Re: Round Three! Door