Careers Fair, Fandom High Front Lawn, Friday Afternoon, 07/21/06

[drywitmartini.livejournal.com]

By lunch time, the booths were set up, the guests had arrived and there was quaint music playing from somewhere undetermined. Hawkeye is walking around with one of those portable microphone/speaker set-ups, roaming from booth to booth announcing the various guests that have come to Fandom to talk about their professions.

And despite what the mainland weather forecast said, it was definitely a nice, fine day.

Comments

MOVIE CRITIC

[drywitmartini.livejournal.com]

"Got a sharp tongue? Like movies and theater? Come and see Mr Statler and Mr Waldorf. They're here to tell you all about being a critic."

Re: MOVIE CRITIC

[needmoresarcasm.livejournal.com]

Two cantankerous old men gave the assembled crowd blank stares.

"We're Statler..." said one, pointing to the other.

"...and Waldorf," said the other pointing to the first guy.

"...and we're very glad to be here," the first one concluded.

"Well, we're okay with being here."

"We're being paid a lot of money to be here."

"We're not getting paid nearly enough to be here."

"We're not getting paid at all to be here?"

"Why are we here?"

"Boo!"

"Boo!!"

They sat down at their booth and looked around the assemblage with baleful eyes.

Re: MOVIE CRITIC

[multi-madrox.livejournal.com]

"Do you find reviewing movies rewarding?" Jamie asked. "What's the best part about your job?"

Re: MOVIE CRITIC

[needmoresarcasm.livejournal.com]

"We get paid..." Statler began.

"...and not enough," Waldorf interjected.

"...to tell the public just how terrible these movies are," Statler concluded.

"Sometimes we make people cry!" Waldorf said, grinning.

"Like what's-his-face from Space Battles," Statler said, turning to Waldorf.

"The green guy?"

"No, the blue one."

"What a baby!"

They turned back to look at the kid in front of them. "Plus there's free popcorn," they said together, tossing some at him.

Re: MOVIE CRITIC

[like-a-sponge.livejournal.com]

"What're your favorite movies?" Greg asked curiously.

Re: MOVIE CRITIC

[needmoresarcasm.livejournal.com]

"Short ones!" Statler said.

"With fight sequences," Waldorf added.

"And fish!"

"Carrying umbrellas!"

"And singing!"

"In Swedish!"

"...the avante garde, mostly," Statler concluded.

Re: MOVIE CRITIC

[like-a-sponge.livejournal.com]

"I saw that one!" Greg said excitedly. "With the basketballs and the singing nun-cows?"

Re: MOVIE CRITIC

[needmoresarcasm.livejournal.com]

Waldorf shook his head. "That was the remake. The original had the dancing elephants and was in black and white."

"Hollywood can't come up with an original idea," Statler said angrily.

Re: MOVIE CRITIC

[like-a-sponge.livejournal.com]

"They totally can't," Greg agreed. "I am so sick of sequels, oh em gee. What's your take on the sudden influx of comic books films? Good, or unoriginal?"

Re: MOVIE CRITIC

[needmoresarcasm.livejournal.com]

"Unoriginal," Statler said.

"And bad," Waldorf added.

"And not nearly enough women in Spandex," they said together.

Re: MOVIE CRITIC

[like-a-sponge.livejournal.com]

"I heard they're remaking the Bitterwoman movie," he said seriously.

Re: MOVIE CRITIC

[needmoresarcasm.livejournal.com]

"Don't tell Piggy," they replied, then broke out into guffaws.

Re: MOVIE CRITIC

[like-a-sponge.livejournal.com]

Greg simply looked puzzled at that for a moment, then nodded and laughed along like he had any idea.

Re: MOVIE CRITIC

[needmoresarcasm.livejournal.com]

"So," Waldorf said, wiping tears from his eyes, "you want to be a critic?"

"You're almost good looking enough to do it, too," Statler added.

"Better looking that Ebert, that's for sure," Waldorf said.

"Practically Joel Siegel-esque," Statler agreed.

They turned to look at Greg critically.

"Be entertaining," they demanded in unison.

Re: MOVIE CRITIC

[like-a-sponge.livejournal.com]

"I can juggle," Greg offered.

Re: MOVIE CRITIC

[can_be_more]

Aeryn stares. A lot.

Re: MOVIE CRITIC

[needmoresarcasm.livejournal.com]

Statler and Waldorf stared back.

"I think she wants to ask us for an autograph," Statler finally muttered.

"No doubt," Waldorf replied.

"Or she heard about the fish juggling."

Walfdorf looked at Aeryn. "So which one is it? Autograph or fish juggling?"

Re: MOVIE CRITIC

[can_be_more]

She tilts her head at them. "Neither. You're... movie critics?"

Re: MOVIE CRITIC

[needmoresarcasm.livejournal.com]

"Sure," Statler said. "You want to be one?"

Re: MOVIE CRITIC

[can_be_more]

Aeryn shakes her head. "No. You just draw attention."

Re: MOVIE CRITIC

[needmoresarcasm.livejournal.com]

"And free movie passes," Waldorf added.

"And interviews with Hollywood starlets," Statler chimed in.

They both sighed. "Selma Hayek...."

Re: MOVIE CRITIC

[can_be_more]

She frowns. "What's a Selma Hayek?"

Re: MOVIE CRITIC

[needmoresarcasm.livejournal.com]

Statler and Waldorf flailed.

"She's the actress with the..." Statler, said, gesturing with his hands.

"...enormous talent," Waldorf finished.

Talent generally doesn't look like what they just described.

Re: MOVIE CRITIC

[can_be_more]

"I'm sure," she says. She has no idea why she feels the urge to thwap them.

Re: MOVIE CRITIC

[needmoresarcasm.livejournal.com]

"Would you like a fish?" Statler asked, waving to the bucket on the table.

The fish in it waved at Aeryn.

"They come in very handy at bad movies."