fandomhigh | Careers Fair, Fandom High Front Lawn, Friday Afternoon, 07/21/06

Entry tags:

!event: friday events

Careers Fair, Fandom High Front Lawn, Friday Afternoon, 07/21/06

By lunch time, the booths were set up, the guests had arrived and there was quaint music playing from somewhere undetermined. Hawkeye is walking around with one of those portable microphone/speaker set-ups, roaming from booth to booth announcing the various guests that have come to Fandom to talk about their professions.

And despite what the mainland weather forecast said, it was definitely a nice, fine day.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

"What're your favorite movies?" Greg asked curiously.

"Short ones!" Statler said.

"With fight sequences," Waldorf added.

"And fish!"

"Carrying umbrellas!"

"And singing!"

"In Swedish!"

"...the avante garde, mostly," Statler concluded.

"I saw that one!" Greg said excitedly. "With the basketballs and the singing nun-cows?"

Waldorf shook his head. "That was the remake. The original had the dancing elephants and was in black and white."

"Hollywood can't come up with an original idea," Statler said angrily.

"They totally can't," Greg agreed. "I am so sick of sequels, oh em gee. What's your take on the sudden influx of comic books films? Good, or unoriginal?"

"Unoriginal," Statler said.

"And bad," Waldorf added.

"And not nearly enough women in Spandex," they said together.

"I heard they're remaking the Bitterwoman movie," he said seriously.

"Don't tell Piggy," they replied, then broke out into guffaws.

Greg simply looked puzzled at that for a moment, then nodded and laughed along like he had any idea.

"So," Waldorf said, wiping tears from his eyes, "you want to be a critic?"

"You're almost good looking enough to do it, too," Statler added.

"Better looking that Ebert, that's for sure," Waldorf said.

"Practically Joel Siegel-esque," Statler agreed.

They turned to look at Greg critically.

"Be entertaining," they demanded in unison.

"I can juggle," Greg offered.

"Fish?" Statler asked.

"Chainsaws?" Waldorf added over him.

"Fish with chainsaws?"

Four eyes looked at him expectantly.

"I have no fish with chainsaws," Greg pointed out. "But...I probably could."

Statler and Waldorf had a muffled conversation, then Waldorf ducked under their table and came back out with a bucket of Muppet fish.

They waved at Greg.

"Juggle," Statler said.

"Um. They're alive," Greg pointed out.

They nodded. "Of course," Waldorf said. "Juggling with dead fish is just weird."

He waved a hand. "Off you go, then."

"I only juggle dead fish," Greg argued.

"That's just rude," the fish in the bucket commented, splashing water towards Greg.

"And not very entertaining," Statler added.

Greg blinked.

"What if I dropped you?" he asked the fish. "That would be ruder."

The fish dove under the water and returned with a business card in its back fin. "We're flying fish," he replied, rolling his eyes. "We're professionals."

"And SAG accredited!" another fish piped in.

Waldorf rolled his eyes. "Less networking, more entertaining!" he demanded.

Greg carefully lifted one of the fish and experimentally tossed it up to catch it with his other hand.

"Yay!" shouted the fish. The other fish in the bucket applauded.

Statler and Waldorf didn't look quite as impressed.

Greg picked up another fish and began to carefully juggle.

He didn't want a Muppet fishie lawsuit against him after all.

"Higher!" the fish cried.

Statler looked at Waldorf. "Definitely more entertaining than that Keanu Reeves movie."

"Which one?"

"Does it matter?"

"Good point."

Greg added a third fishie to the mix, not daring to throw them too high because he really didn't want to drop one of them and have a giant scary Muppet shark after him or something.

"So I don't suck?" he said, not looking away from the flying fishies.

Re: MOVIE CRITIC

needmoresarcasm.livejournal.com - 2006-07-22 01:05 (UTC) - Expand

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only