fandomhigh | Tuesday Afternoon: How to Win Friends, etc. [Session One]

Current Mood: aggravated
Current Location: Danger Shop

Entry tags:

win friends

Tuesday Afternoon: How to Win Friends, etc. [Session One]

Roster:
Zack Addy
Belthazor
Cordelia Chase
John Crichton
Timothy Desmond
Tyler Durden
Draco Malfoy
Peter Pevensie
Blair Sandburg
Greg Sanders
Ranma Saotome
Shiro
Aeryn Sun
Elizabeth Weir

As the students file in they'll see that the Danger shop appears to look like a normal classroom. Suddenly from the back of the room a sharp piercing whistle is heard as Dr. Cox marches into the room with a stuffed dug under his arm.

"SEATS! NOW!" He bellows and glares at everyone in the classroom until they are sitting at a desk.

"So you want to learn how to win friends and impress people. Do you realize how pa-ha-thetic you people are? I mean for the love of GOD people! Do you realize what this leads to? It leads you to becoming something like THIS!"

Cox flips a switch and in the Danger Shop a hologram appears of a middle aged man wearing a lab coat with red horns and a pointed tail. The hologram appears to be limited because it only says: "Who has two thumbs and doesn't give a crap?"

Then hologram points at himself with its thumbs. "Bob Kelso. That'd be me."

The hologram continues to repeat itself throughout class.

"This! This is what you'll become! DO YOU NOT SEE THE DANGER!! MY GOD NEWBIES! THE HORROR!! THE HORROR!!" Dr. Cox ranted.

He then took a deep breath and glared at the students sitting at their desks. "Let's get one thing straight people. Friends? Who needs them. Impressing people? Bah! What I am about to show you are the tools of the enemy. You will learn them. You will learn to fight them. I will give you the tools to fight them.

Cox points to seven random people an then points to Rowdy's mouth. "I want each of you to write down something that you want including your name. Put it Old Yeller's mouth here and the person who gets the object of your desire? You will try to schmooze it from them. The rest of you? You will fight to the fiber of your being to keep it from them. Then you will flip sides and the schmoozer will become the schmoozee."

[ooc: For simplicity I have listed the partners already:

Zack Addy - John Crichton
Cordelia Chase - Belthazor
Timothy Desmond - Peter Pevensie
Tyler Durden - Draco Malfoy
Blair Sandburg - Aeryn Sun
Greg Sanders - Ranma Saotome
Shiro - Elizabeth Weir

Please sign in by writing down the object of your desire.]

[ooc: OCD is up. Go for it.]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Aeryn shakes her head. "No. It's impractical."

"How about we try it for one day? After that everyone can decide if they want to go back to normal." Blair bounced. "Is that more practical?"

"No," she says. "You'd be giving people a taste of something they can't possibly have, because to get everyone to frelling shut up and stop thinking about their own needs for a moment would mean changing the habits of the entire species."

"Oooh. Changing the habits! Can we do that then?" Blair smiled widely. "That's a very good idea, Aeryn!"

"And how would you propose to do that?" says Aeryn. "Besides shooting anyone who steps out of line."

"Shooting people is sorta the opposite of what I'm working for here, man." Blair tapped his foot as he thought. "Maybe we can get everyone to meditate or hugs. Hugging for peace!"

"Anyone who hugs me gets shot."

"What would you be willing to give in order to stave off hugs?" Blair bounced forward a little.

"Nothing, because I'm not giving up my weapon."

A little hostile, this girl.

Blair sighed at the hostility and shrugged. "It was a lofty goal anyway. So what are you schmoozing for?"

"I want my boyfriend's toaster dead," she answers, seriously.

"Buh?" Blair's eyes widened. Poor Aeryn had obviously lost her mind. "No can do. You can't kill inantimate objects."

"It talks, it is insulting, it insinuates things about threesomes, and it needs to die," she says. "it's done radio. It knows where I live."

"Have you thought about nonviolent solutions to your problem?" Blair smiled, pretty sure that 'toaster' was code word for someone. "Maybe you could talk about your feelings with the 'toaster'. Take it out for coffee and discuss things."

"The toaster knows how I feel," she says. "I tried kicking it, I stuck it in the freezer and still, it continues. Next time I'm taking it to the firing range so I don't get expelled for killing it dead, though it would be worth it."

Blair took a wary step back. "Aeryn, what's the 'toasters' name?"

"Toasty, I think," she says. "That's what John calls him. You can ask him!"

"Is um...Toasty a friend of John's?" Blair wracked his brain, trying to figure out of any of the students had the nickname of toasty. "You don't want to kill John's friends, do you?"

She thinks back. "I've wanted to hit a few, but not kill. And the toaster is not his friend, it's his toy."

"WTF?" Blair blinked in shock. "How could you call another student a toy? People have rights!"

Aeryn stares at him.

"It's not a student. It's a toaster. An actual little box of metal that you put bread in and you push down the little lever and through the magic of science, it makes it warm," she explains. "John broke his toaster. Bridge fixed it. Now it talks in rhyme."

"Oh." Blair blinked rapidly as he tried to process. "Not a student? You're sure? No concious being trapped inbetween heating coils and bits of bagel crumbs?"

Aeryn nods. "Positive."

[Going to have to head offline soon. Thanks for putting up with my SP!]

"Huh." Blair nodded. "Good to know. Still can't kill him...it...whatever. It doesn't belong to you."

[np! I'm glad we got to play tonight!]

"I practically live with it, though," she says. "John likes me more."

[Me too!! Night!]

Re: Group Five: Blair Sandburg - Aeryn Sun

Re: Group Five: Blair Sandburg - Aeryn Sun

Re: Group Five: Blair Sandburg - Aeryn Sun

Re: Group Five: Blair Sandburg - Aeryn Sun

Re: Group Five: Blair Sandburg - Aeryn Sun

Re: Group Five: Blair Sandburg - Aeryn Sun

Re: Group Five: Blair Sandburg - Aeryn Sun

Re: Group Five: Blair Sandburg - Aeryn Sun

Re: Group Five: Blair Sandburg - Aeryn Sun

Re: Group Five: Blair Sandburg - Aeryn Sun

Re: Group Five: Blair Sandburg - Aeryn Sun

Re: Group Five: Blair Sandburg - Aeryn Sun

Re: Group Five: Blair Sandburg - Aeryn Sun

Re: Group Five: Blair Sandburg - Aeryn Sun

Re: Group Five: Blair Sandburg - Aeryn Sun

Re: Group Five: Blair Sandburg - Aeryn Sun

Re: Group Five: Blair Sandburg - Aeryn Sun

Re: Group Five: Blair Sandburg - Aeryn Sun

Re: Group Five: Blair Sandburg - Aeryn Sun

Re: Group Five: Blair Sandburg - Aeryn Sun

Re: Group Five: Blair Sandburg - Aeryn Sun

Re: Group Five: Blair Sandburg - Aeryn Sun

Re: Group Five: Blair Sandburg - Aeryn Sun

Re: Group Five: Blair Sandburg - Aeryn Sun

Re: Group Five: Blair Sandburg - Aeryn Sun