Sexual Health and Education, Tuesday, 1st Period

[spin_kick_snap]

"So," Kathy said, when everyone had assembled for class. Today, she was leaning against the desk, still trying to look teacherly in a pencil skirt and button-up blouse. "We're talking about the most important aspect of sex - and, honestly, of human interaction: consent. Consent, while it most frequently talked about in regards to sex, is applicable to your every day life. At it's most basic, consent is permission and when it comes to people, it's the permission to involve you in whatever activities are happening. Borrowing clothes, drinking alcohol, giving hugs, and, yes, having sex. Do do something with someone without their consent is a violation - both of themselves and sometimes the law. Today we're going to talk about different kinds of consent and, most particularly, the kinds of consent based around sex."

"So you mighta heard the phrase 'no means no'," Dante said. He was seated this time! ... Sprawling in the chair behind the desk in his red coat and a tank top, but whatever. Sitting! "Well, with sex, it's more like 'yes means yes', if you get what I mean."

Oh, right. Teacher. He should probably explain.

"It's not good enough to just have somebody who's willing to go along with whatever you want," he said. "You gotta check in, make sure they're actually cool. Sometimes people feel pressured to do stuff they don't really want to do."

"When it comes to sex, what all involved parties are looking for is informed and enthusiastic consent," Kathy said, perching on the edge of the desk. "The kind of consent that implies excitement and eagerness - the people involves aren't just going along with what is happening, they're enthusiastically onboard with going ahead. And informed consent means that everyone knows what's going on. Any relevant STIs have been discussed, a general idea has been expressed - or they have consented to being surprised - they know who and what is going to be involved. Basically, you know what's happening, you know any risks involved, and you're still excited to get down. Cool, that's informed, enthusiastic consent."

Ooof. And now the hard stuff.

"But there are a lot of scenarios where consent hasn't or can't be given," she continued. "When you're drunk or high, for example. Or unconscious. Or haven't been fully and properly informed."

"But that can and does happen a fucking lot," Dante said, wincing. "So watch out for that. And don't, like, do that to anybody. If they seem too drunk or out of it to think about what they want, they're too drunk and out of it to do you."

"Also, if someone isn't as excited as you about what is happening - especially if they're lying still, or not communicating, or seem checked out...if you've had to try to guilt or manipulate or convince--that's coercion, not consent. So don't. And if someone is trying that with you? Get out. It can be really hard to say no, especially when you know someone else really wants something you can provide. But you're not here for them, and you have a right to not do things that hurt you, upset you, or make you feel uncomfortable."

Kathy was getting really emphatic there.

He glanced at Kathy. "So we got a few questions for you guys to discuss with each other today."

Ugh, now he felt teacherly.

Kathy took a second to breathe, and went back to casually leaning. "Our questions for class discussion today:
1) What do you think about consent being defined as the presence of a yes?

2) Imagine you and another person start kissing. You are attracted to this person, and you think you’re getting non-verbal signals that both of you want to 'do more' than kiss. As a group, generate 3 examples of something you could say to your partner to determine what to do next. Again, give examples of things you could say before going any further.

3) Do you think sexual partners talking about what they are interested in experiencing together will lead to a better sexual experience for them? Why or why not?"

All right kids. Have at!

Comments

Sign In

[spin_kick_snap]

Doing something you wanna!

Re: Sign In

[howareyanow]

Wayne

Re: Sign In

[mother_forker]

Eleanor Shellstrop

Re: Sign In

[gospel_of_oblivion]

Illyana Rasputin

Listen to the Lecture

[spin_kick_snap]

Look, one of your teachers just gets spun up a lot about things that she's passionate about. Get used to it.

...Just ask your other teacher.

Anyway, there is also a few hand outs for everyone to peruse.

Re: Listen to the Lecture

[gospel_of_oblivion]

Unfortunately, Illyana knew a lot about having her autonomy violated.

She was paying attention to the lesson, sure, but was also making sure to do her meditation breathing, so that she didn't slip and start shifting demonic, or bolt for the door. Outwardly, there was no sign of her discomfort, unless you counted the focus with which she was sketching in her notebook.

Answer the Questions!

[spin_kick_snap]

1) What do you think about consent being defined as the presence of a yes?

2) Imagine you and another person start kissing. You are attracted to this person, and you think you’re getting non-verbal signals that both of you want to 'do more' than kiss. As a group, generate 3 examples of something you could say to your partner to determine what to do next. Again, give examples of things you could say before going any further.

3) Do you think sexual partners talking about what they are interested in experiencing together will lead to a better sexual experience for them? Why or why not?

Re: Answer the Questions!

[mother_forker]

"Uh. Yeah, so I'm pretty blunt and to the point when it comes to these things? I find it helps skip the bullshirt talking parts and skip right to the fun stuff," Eleanor said actually participating in the conversation. "So. 1? Nothing ain't happening unless there's a yes on both sides. 2? Again. I'm blunt so there's no confusion. 3? Yes. Communication. Because that way I get what I want."

Of course the other person may not get anything but there is at least bluntness and consent.

Re: Answer the Questions!

[gospel_of_oblivion]

"I am very confused by all of this," Illyana admitted. "I understand feeling like you cannot say 'no' because of a power imbalance, but I thought sex was supposed to happen between peers."

This was what happened when you left the sex-ed up to two middle-aged men who were academics, and didn't really want to discuss this with their tempermental teenage ward. When 'Yana talked about sex, she tended to sound like a clinical doctor.

Re: Answer the Questions!

[mother_forker]

"Well. It can be," Eleanor said mulling it over. "I guess for me it just depends on what your definition of 'peer' is. Hypothetically it could be just a really attractive person you meet in a Denny's Parking lot after both of you scam the restaurant out of a free grand slam because you both have fake id's with the same birthday."

Actually it wasn't a hypothetical at all. "The point being though that both of us were down for it."

Oh. Wait.

"Hypothetically."

"And you should never feel like there is a power imbalance in a situation. Too many times I've been told by old creeps that we were running out of time and they were my last option just as the bar was about to close. But I never settled for them. Because my ex-boyfriend lived nearby, he was obsessed with me and he never slept because he was addicted to Adderall. There is always another option."

Re: Answer the Questions!

[toottootmagicflute]

Wei Wuxian was still processing the lecture. "But you don't need consent if it's for their own good, right? Like a medical procedure?"

Re: Answer the Questions!

[rebelseekspizza]

That was definitely a flare-up of "welp" you could see on Dante's face for a second.

"You sure as fuck need consent," he said, "You don't know if the other person is gonna agree with you on what's good for them."

Re: Answer the Questions!

[toottootmagicflute]

"Right, right," Wei Wuxian nodded. "But what if they're wrong?"

Optional Homework!

[spin_kick_snap]

"We have some optional homework for you," Kathy announced when the group discussions were over. "Yes, optional in that 'even if you do it, you don't have to show it to us'," she said. "One of the biggest so-called 'complaints' is that stopping to check breaks the mood." She rolled her eyes. "That's bullshit and usually an excuse for why someone didn't bother. But, you can also practice finding ways to make getting consent sexy - it doesn't have to be pausing to say, 'Do you consent to X'? So, optional homework assignment one: What are ways you can get consent that actually further the mood in a sexual situation?"

And, look! Another handout! (Dante had not realized she'd had quite so many). "As I said earlier, saying no to people is hard. Society conditions you against it, especially those people assigned female at birth. Your other optional homework assignment is to practice saying 'No.' If this is hard for you, practice ways of saying it nicely but firmly. Tell someone 'no' at least once this week when they want something and you don't. Firm up your boundaries, kids. It serves you in every aspect of your life."

Special Assignment - Eleanor

[spin_kick_snap]

Ha! Bet you think Kathy wasn't going to make this a thing. Guess what, Eleanor, you were wrong.

"Last week, Eleanor volunteered to do some extra research," Kathy said, looking at the girl in question if she was here. "Looking at pornography and discussing how it differs from real sex. Thank you again for volunteering, Eleanor. Are you ready?"

Re: Special Assignment - Eleanor

[mother_forker]

Oh shit. "Surrrrrrrrreeeeeeee."

Fuuuuuuuuuck.

Eleanor stood up in front of the class and let out a loud cough and swallowed hard before speaking.

"So. First of all? I don't care what anyone says, clothing choices are never going to be like that. Oh sure, Victoria's Secret makes a shirt ton of money for the illusion but chances are when the action kicks off it's not going to be some stupid mini dress that I have to pull down a million times a night. It's going to be a ratty sweatshirt and sweatpants. And there ain't going to be a motherforking strip tease because once it's on, it's on. It's going to be a mad scramble and cooperative movement to get everything off and out of the way so we can get to business. Furthermore if you think anyone has planned this act so far in advance that there's some kind of Victoria's Secret outfit under those sweatpants you are sadly mistaken. It's going to be a worn set of granny panties and a sports bra that has seen better days and probably has some old rust stains on it. So on to the action itself. First of all? The lighting in any real life scenario is not going to be even remotely good and chances are I'm getting those lights off because I haven't spent an hour getting body make up applied to hide scars and my cellulite. Also if you think any girl just strips and then gets down to the forking, you are definitely delusional. I don't know about you all but I need a warmup. And I'm not talking about stretching and forking jumping jacks. And I'm not talking about getting him ready because if it is a him he should need no help in that forking department. Now, if we're getting into pregaming? All that shirt I've seen just looks painful or just really done badly. Then again, I'm never at that camera angle so maybe it is like that but from a girl with experience? I'm saying a hell no to most of that shirt. And all that moaning and screaming? Way overdone. Anyway, if I go any further, you all are going to know a hell of a lot more about me than my own mother. Suffice to say? I'll give all of you nerds an analogy most of you can understand. Porn to real sex? Is like the meta forLord of the Rings to Monty Python and the Holy Grail. Completely different in execution, but satisfying in their own separate way."

Re: Special Assignment - Eleanor

[rebelseekspizza]

Dante shrugged. "Checks all the boxes," he said. He cast Kathy a look. "Anything like your big Porn Common Room there, babe?"

Talk to Your Teachers

[spin_kick_snap]

Especially have questions. Or answers. Or...whatever.

Re: Talk to Your Teachers

[spin_kick_snap]

"Just remember!" Kathy called as the class exited the room. "Consent can be revoked at any time! And just because you've done something before doesn't mean you have to do it again!"

Re: Talk to Your Teachers

[rebelseekspizza]

Kathy's teacherly outfits were already starting to amuse the crap out of Dante.

He hung out in his chair, shooting her the occasional glance.

Re: Talk to Your Teachers

[spin_kick_snap]

"I can't see you," Kathy informed him.

She didn't have to. She knew

OOC

[spin_kick_snap]

Kathy "I HAVE OPINIONS AND YOU'RE GONNA HEAR ABOUT THEM" Li, ladies and gentlemen.

Re: OOC

[mother_forker]

For the record? I was not expecting Eleanor to give a presentation today so I apologize if any of that offends anybody. I wrote it strictly for laughs and what I assumed Eleanor's point of view would be.

If it does offend you, I really do apologize. If need be I will delete and write another response.

Re: OOC

[rebelseekspizza]

♥ ♥ I think you're good.

Re: OOC

[nicedragonsfinishlast]

You are delightful and thank you for rolling with it like a mime chicken. <3