fandomhigh | Summer Shenanigans, Wednesday, May 27, 2020

No one should be surprised to see the bleachers set up in the park on Wednesday mornings any more, and should probably be giving the center of town a pass if they didn't want to be voluntold into an Exciting Summer Game of some type.

At least snacks were provided?

Anakin was in the middle of the park as usual, surrounded by rope, two-by-fours, and other building materials. Next to him, chittering, was Leroy the Radio Squirrel wearing a jaunty "press" fedora.

"Leroy has informed me at length," Anakin began dryly, "that the squirrels are feeling unappreciated. And while they cannot bite you and make you behave like a moron for an hour like the gremlins, they remind me that they can absolutely destroy every single being here's reputation by making up a story about them and having it end up on the radio."

Anakin glared at the squirrel. "Which is super unethical and definitely prosecutable."

Leroy shrugged, unmoved.

"So today we are going to make an obstacle course for squirrels," Anakin said. "Each team will be in charge of coming up with a portion of an obstacle that you think will stop the radio squirrels from getting to the final prize at the end of the course: rum."

Because of course.

"Listen for your names and get your shirts! There will be seven teams of three."

TEAM HOMESTEADY CORN HIDE
Lucille
Steve
Juillene

TEAM CRUISELINER BIKINI
Tahani
Rey
Mae

TEAM RAINY MORNING
Rosa
Sabine
Tisarwat

TEAM FAIRYLIGHT SMOKE
Prompto
Alara
Astrid

TEAM PACK IN THE CONE
Duke
Beaker
Freya

TEAM ABANDONED FACTORY
Amaya
Stark
Summer

TEAM ICE AND ICE
Shuri
Alexis
Liam

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Danny just laughed because this was literally the least annoying thing that had happened to him since he got here.

"I am going to give you so much shit about this later."

Edited 2020-05-28 01:08 (UTC)

Piggy abruptly stopped flirting.

“You’re going to give me what.”

Someone was looking to get karate chopped into a wall.

Hey now! Assault on a peace officer!

"Nothing, nothing, you look great."

Not guilty by reason of temporary insanity!

“You’re damn right I do,” Piggy growled.

Then flipped her hair again and immediately launched back into posing.

“So which magazine are you with?”

The hair flipping was just... chef's kiss. It really was.

"Cosmo," he replied in his very dry sarcastic way that sometimes made it hard to know if he was telling the truth or not.

Watch out, Danny, if she decides you're flirting back, she might throw herself at you. Kind of literally. Despite her flippered soulmate looking on or because of it? You be the judge.

"That's very impressiiiive!" she cooed. "You must be this week's guest star!"

KERMIT, YOU BETTER FUCKING RESCUE HIM HERE.

"I don't think the press guest star on things." Well. Maybe Anderson Cooper. Or Al Roker. "Just here to, to save this moment for posterity."

Kermit was probably just relieved to have a break for a minute.

"But of course! Everything moi does must be preserved for pos-ter-i-ty!" She turned away to toss a smile over her shoulder and gave a little giggle. "Kissy kissy!"

Run, Danny.

"No," Danny said, scuttling back because that was just horrifying on many levels. "Nope. I'm very good without that."

And you would never live this down now, Duke.

"A shy one, huh?" Piggy said, dropping the falsetto. "You'll never get anywhere in this business with that attitude, bubba."

"I'll live with that heartbreak," Danny assured her in that that dry tone again. "You just. Maybe go home and sleep this off."

"Oh, but we're not done with the charity event yet!" Piggy protested. "You simply must get a picture of me with my Kermie. Oh Kermieeeeee!" She called in a singsong. "Kermie, come here and say hello to Coooosmooooo!"

And here came that weird kid with the hair. "Yes, Piggy, my dear?" he totally didn't meep.

"You know what? I think I've got all the material I need--" Danny paused and just sort of stared at this whole thing happening right here. Because this was some sort of fever nightmare, wasn't it?

"Kermie, I'd like you to meet --" Piggy looked at Danny and frowned. "-- Oh whatever, your name doesn't matter. Cosmo Man, meet the love of my life, my better, greener half, Kermit the Frog. Mwa!"

And she leaned ~~down, way down~~ in for a big kiss!

This will definitely not be weird when the venom wore off!

"Piggy!" Kermit complained, but didn't sound all that displeased. "You've made this poor man uncomfortable."

By any number of things, truly.

DEEPLY, DEEPLY UNCOMFORTABLE.

"I think I've gone blind," Danny agreed.

"Deal with it, Cosmo," Piggy growled. Then tilted her head with an adorable little hum. "The whole world should get to know about my hunka hunka burning frog."

Yep, Duke was definitely getting drunk again tonight.

If felt frogs could blush, Kermit would definitely be blushing. "Gee."

Why would you people do this to him? Couldn't he gleefully blackmail Duke in peace?

"Okay. You two keep the PDA to a minimum. Preferably to a zero. Let's go with that, huh? Don't want to upset the kids here."

Yeah, those poor teens.

Piggy blinked at him. "Are you against interspecies relationships?"

Kermit looked very disappointed in you, Danny.

"I really don't think that's the issue here," Danny said with the utmost honesty.

What a man and a puppet person did in the privacy of his boat was their business. Their dirty, horrifying business.

“What a pig wants to do with her favorite frog is her own business, buster!”

"And maybe also the frog's," Kermit piped up.

Re: Arrive and Mingle

hatesparadise - 2020-05-28 11:30 (UTC) - Expand