fandomhigh | Ungulate Yoga, Tuesday, period 1

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yoga

Ungulate Yoga, Tuesday, period 1

After spending pretty much all day yesterday in bed, after getting back from Ibiza, Duke was looking forward to a nice, ordinary day. Or, you know, as close to one as you could get in Fandom. So when he saw the zebras hanging out in the clearing for class, he didn't even blink.

"At least you all have hooves. Just try not to trample my students, alright?"

The zebras grazed idly, ignoring him.

"Let's get right to warming up please," Duke said when the students arrived. "Today we're going to try out some bound poses." He very specifically did not look at Danny ~~if he was there~~ when he said that. "A bound pose is any pose where your hands are connected, and you twist through your shoulders and torso. They require a fair amount of flexibility, so I don't want to see anyone pushing themselves too hard, here. You need a prop, you use it. I've got pillows, bolsters, blocks and straps up here. Remember: a good stretch means no sharp pains. If it hurts, stop."

One of the zebras came over to try to eat Duke's hair. He closed his eyes and sighed.

"Also there are zebras. So . . . yeah."

At least he wasn't stoned this week.

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Danny politely flipped him off. "But seriously. Talk to someone. Drinking yourself dumb works for... about a week."

And hey, look at that!

"Ah! Not if you keep drinking."

He was kidding. Mostly.

"Your concern has been noted, Detective. It's very touching, I assure you."

Don't make him rant at you, Duke. He'd do it.

"Uh huh."

Why not? That sounded entertaining.

"You're really not going to let this go, are you."

Danny made a face, wobbling his head from side to side like he was considering it. "Not really, no."

Because he was the mom friend. He was the biggest mom friend. Even if they weren't, in fact, friends.

See, and that was very weird to Duke. Even his actual friends didn't push this hard.

"Man, why do you even care? You don't like me, either."

"Because I am an empathetic person," Danny replied. Which was half the reason, sure.

"You're a cop," Duke said. "Seriously, what's your angle here?"

"Angle?" Danny asked. "Jesus, I'm not the CIA. I don't have an angle."

"Yeah, buddy, most people aren't. But everybody's got an angle."

Were you just getting more and more sad for Duke, Danny? Because his was a sad, sad life.

He kind of was, yes. Which was uncalled for. This whole sad, defensive thing was just shades of McGarrett.

"Fine, my angle--" A word he was saying with the utmost disdain. "--is that I'd rather not see someone who is, well I'm not gonna call you innocent at all, but you're also not a piece of garbage. So, I'd rather see you actually get over all this shit rather than play act at it."

"Oh, I'm not a piece of garbage. That's very kind of you, thank you. How often does berating people into mental health work?"

It was a work in progress. But, hey, he'd drag Steve into couple's counseling eventually.

"Want someone to lie to you? Go elsewhere, pal." Danny would aggressively tell you how dumb he thought you were being. It was his thing.

Danny aggressively did most things, as far as Duke could tell.

"I didn't go to you in the first place," he pointed out. ". . . Okay, I did, about the Octavia shit. But otherwise, you came to me."

It was his charm!

Danny nodded like it was all Duke's fault anyway. "And now I'm invested."

Duke groaned and rubbed his forehead. "Is there any way to get you uninvested?"

"Therapy," Danny pointed out. "The therapy thing."

"Sure, that's a great plan. I'll just tell some therapist that my girlfriend from a nuclear post-apocalypse got kidnapped back to her own universe three weeks ago and then my junkie mother lured me into a cult. Maybe I'll throw in my roommate who didn't know what names were when I met her, and that my teaching career is being determined by a moose. Yeah, I'm trying not to end up in a straitjacket, thank you."

"Then you embellish a little," Danny said like that should have been obvious.

Yeah, Duke was just going to give him a Look for that one.

Danny gave him A Look right on back. "You don't have any shrinks on this rock?"

"We did," Duke said. "Haven't seen him around in a while. See, people around here sometimes just." He held up his hand and closed it into a fist. "Disappear."

Also that therapist was a manipulative cannibal. Not that Duke knew that part.

Yeah, that might have put a damper on things.

"Yeah, I've noticed that too."

"So. Now that we've eliminated therapy as an option."

"No, we've eliminated traditional therapy, you schmuck. You still talk to someone about this shit."

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