fandomhigh | Ungulate Yoga, Tuesday, period 1

After spending pretty much all day yesterday in bed, after getting back from Ibiza, Duke was looking forward to a nice, ordinary day. Or, you know, as close to one as you could get in Fandom. So when he saw the zebras hanging out in the clearing for class, he didn't even blink.

"At least you all have hooves. Just try not to trample my students, alright?"

The zebras grazed idly, ignoring him.

"Let's get right to warming up please," Duke said when the students arrived. "Today we're going to try out some bound poses." He very specifically did not look at Danny ~~if he was there~~ when he said that. "A bound pose is any pose where your hands are connected, and you twist through your shoulders and torso. They require a fair amount of flexibility, so I don't want to see anyone pushing themselves too hard, here. You need a prop, you use it. I've got pillows, bolsters, blocks and straps up here. Remember: a good stretch means no sharp pains. If it hurts, stop."

One of the zebras came over to try to eat Duke's hair. He closed his eyes and sighed.

"Also there are zebras. So . . . yeah."

At least he wasn't stoned this week.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Yeah, Duke was just going to give him a Look for that one.

Danny gave him A Look right on back. "You don't have any shrinks on this rock?"

"We did," Duke said. "Haven't seen him around in a while. See, people around here sometimes just." He held up his hand and closed it into a fist. "Disappear."

Also that therapist was a manipulative cannibal. Not that Duke knew that part.

Yeah, that might have put a damper on things.

"Yeah, I've noticed that too."

"So. Now that we've eliminated therapy as an option."

"No, we've eliminated traditional therapy, you schmuck. You still talk to someone about this shit."

"I talk to people," Duke said. "I talk to Lucifer all the time." And he decided to bring Duke to Ibiza to take his mind off things. It was super healthy. "I'm just not talking to you."

"Oh yeah, I'm sure you have a great heart-to-heart in Ibiza," Danny drawled.

"I did, yes. Turns out Lucifer's home dimension is in 'time quarantine'." Duke smirked faintly. "Yeah, I've been here nine months and that shit doesn't get less weird."

Danny gave him an unimpressed look. "Yeah, I noticed that."

He was sort of stuck in one too.

True. Duke had mentioned that to Lucifer, too.

"Look. Lucifer and I have a lot in common, alright?" Duke said. "And yeah, I'm aware that it's maybe not great to have a lot in common with the Devil."

Did you know Lucifer was the for-real Devil yet, Danny?

HE WAS IGNORING IT FOR HIS OWN SANITY.

"Oh, you and Lucifer have a lot in common, huh?"

". . . Yeah, that's literally what I just said."

"Alright, alright."

"You want to talk to Lucifer? 'Cause I gotta say, hearing about the melodrama that is Heaven really does put some things in perspective."

"Nope, raised Catholic. Kinda not my bag anymore."

Irish-Italian and attended a Catholic college. So of course he was lapsed like whoa.

Oh yeah, that would totally do it.

"Yeah? You two can trash talk the Church together, then. He has a lot of questions about why you people all think he's associated with goats."

Duke was enjoying having thoroughly turned this conversation away from his own trauma, yes.

He'd just ambush Duke again about it. It was a thing he'd do. Only, instead of hugs, it would surly demands to share his feelings.

"Us people? I think nothing of the goat thing. That's more of the whole Christmas tree and Easter bunny thing."

"What's the Christmas tree and Easter bunny thing?"

Duke had been raised Christian, but only barely. His dad had been great buddies with the local Reverend, but in a "let's righteously kill all these people we don't like" kind of way, and he'd died when Duke was 8.

Ahhh. So he was Evangelical.

"You know. Pagan stuff they yanked to lure people in. Bunnies, fertility in spring. Evergreens in the winter so people didn't go nuts in the cold and dark."

". . . And goats?"

Baphomet! Look, Danny was not the person with answers about Gnosticism for these answers.

"More pagan shit. Probably some god the Church didn't like."

Honestly, the concept of a horned devil was a more recent thing. But that wasn't important here!

"Huh. I figured it was the Gospel of Matthew. You know, sheep go to Heaven, goats go to Hell. Though I guess that could spring from the same thing."

So, so happy they'd moved on from his own trauma to talk about random Christian theology.

He was lulling you into a false sense of security.

"Yeah, but the bible also has unicorns in it, so..."

But he was so happy to be lulled!

"Oh, now I know you're not telling me you don't believe in unicorns."

Duke was kidding.

Mostly.

Edited 2020-05-26 18:06 (UTC)

Re: Talk to Duke

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