fandomhigh | Ungulate Yoga, Tuesday, period 1

After spending pretty much all day yesterday in bed, after getting back from Ibiza, Duke was looking forward to a nice, ordinary day. Or, you know, as close to one as you could get in Fandom. So when he saw the zebras hanging out in the clearing for class, he didn't even blink.

"At least you all have hooves. Just try not to trample my students, alright?"

The zebras grazed idly, ignoring him.

"Let's get right to warming up please," Duke said when the students arrived. "Today we're going to try out some bound poses." He very specifically did not look at Danny ~~if he was there~~ when he said that. "A bound pose is any pose where your hands are connected, and you twist through your shoulders and torso. They require a fair amount of flexibility, so I don't want to see anyone pushing themselves too hard, here. You need a prop, you use it. I've got pillows, bolsters, blocks and straps up here. Remember: a good stretch means no sharp pains. If it hurts, stop."

One of the zebras came over to try to eat Duke's hair. He closed his eyes and sighed.

"Also there are zebras. So . . . yeah."

At least he wasn't stoned this week.

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"Alright, alright."

"You want to talk to Lucifer? 'Cause I gotta say, hearing about the melodrama that is Heaven really does put some things in perspective."

"Nope, raised Catholic. Kinda not my bag anymore."

Irish-Italian and attended a Catholic college. So of course he was lapsed like whoa.

Oh yeah, that would totally do it.

"Yeah? You two can trash talk the Church together, then. He has a lot of questions about why you people all think he's associated with goats."

Duke was enjoying having thoroughly turned this conversation away from his own trauma, yes.

He'd just ambush Duke again about it. It was a thing he'd do. Only, instead of hugs, it would surly demands to share his feelings.

"Us people? I think nothing of the goat thing. That's more of the whole Christmas tree and Easter bunny thing."

"What's the Christmas tree and Easter bunny thing?"

Duke had been raised Christian, but only barely. His dad had been great buddies with the local Reverend, but in a "let's righteously kill all these people we don't like" kind of way, and he'd died when Duke was 8.

Ahhh. So he was Evangelical.

"You know. Pagan stuff they yanked to lure people in. Bunnies, fertility in spring. Evergreens in the winter so people didn't go nuts in the cold and dark."

". . . And goats?"

Baphomet! Look, Danny was not the person with answers about Gnosticism for these answers.

"More pagan shit. Probably some god the Church didn't like."

Honestly, the concept of a horned devil was a more recent thing. But that wasn't important here!

"Huh. I figured it was the Gospel of Matthew. You know, sheep go to Heaven, goats go to Hell. Though I guess that could spring from the same thing."

So, so happy they'd moved on from his own trauma to talk about random Christian theology.

He was lulling you into a false sense of security.

"Yeah, but the bible also has unicorns in it, so..."

But he was so happy to be lulled!

"Oh, now I know you're not telling me you don't believe in unicorns."

Duke was kidding.

Mostly.

Edited 2020-05-26 18:06 (UTC)

"Well, if they show up for yoga next week, maybe I'd be a believer, but as it stands..."

He had an eleven year old daughter. Unicorns had been a vital part of his life for a period there.

THIS WAS FANDOM, THEY JUST MIGHT.

"Have you seen the green dear yet?"

JUST HELPING THE THE UNGULATES.

"I know what you're doing here."

~~NOW I HAVE TO REWRITE MY SYLLABUS~~

"And what's that, Detective?"

~~SORRY NOT SORRY~~.

"Distracting me, you putz."

"Ohhhh. See, I just thought we were having a conversation."

How could these two be anything but the best of friends?

The bickering was Danny's love language, it's true!

"This just earned you more checking in, you know."

"So . . . more police harassment? That'll be new and different for me."

Duke's was making people food! But he was pretty fluent in bickering too, thanks to growing up with Nathan.

"Can't help, but live up to expectations, babe," Danny replied with a flippant wave of his hand.

". . . Babe? I think you need to at least buy me a drink before we start giving each other pet names."

Danny looked confused for a moment before rolling his eyes. "Don't flatter yourself. I call everyone that."

Mostly Steve. No reason.

"And how many times have you been sued for sexual harassment, then?"

"None?" Honestly now. It probably helped that people seemed to think he was married to his partner half the time.

Re: Talk to Duke

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