fandomhigh | Advanced Journalism (Tuesday, April 4

John doodles in his notebook, trying to think of someone or something to interview.

"You could interview me.

"What?" John says, looking around.

Rory jumped about a foot.

"What? Didn't say anything."

"You didn't?" John shakes his head, trying to clear it of cobwebs. "I swear someone just said something to me."

"Work quietly," Rita said, rubbing her temples.

"Stop talking to me then," John mumbles.

As entertaining as I find this particular professor, it was not her that addressed you. It was I.

And when John looks up, Scorpius is standing behind Professor Skeeter's desk, smiling widely. John falls out of his chair.

"Back in your chair," Rita said sharply.

"Professor," John says quietly, keeping his eyes on Scorpius, who is still grinning. "If you've ever cared for me at all, you'll turn around and use your wand on the person behind you."

Rita raised an eyebrow and slowly turned to look behind her.

"There's no one there, Mr. Crichton. I thought we had moved past this particular joke."

She's right, of course. This particular joke is aged. Why don't you be courteous to your professor?

"Who the hell are you?" John asks, eyes wide.

Rita rolled her eyes and went back to reading her paper.

Scorpius leans down and sniffs at Professor Skeeter's hair, smiling yet again.

"Sawdust. Is your professor a carpenter"

"She's married! Get away from her!" John shouts, getting to his feet.

"Mr. Crichton, please take your seat," Rita said, bored.

Scorpius only laughs.

"Perhaps she doesn't share our mutual love of leather? Pity."

"Can you see her wearing leather? She'd look like vinyl tire!"

And John can't believe he's talking to...it.

"John, does your imaginary friend want a cookie?" Rory offered.

He stalks closer, coming out from behind Professor Skeeter's desk and John backs away slowly.

"Imaginary? Is that what I am? Perhaps you should give me a name."

John closes his eyes for a moment and opens them again and he's still there.

"He's not imaginary! He just sniffed Profesor Skeeter's hair and thinks she'd look good in leather!"

Rory blinked.

"Well, this one's new. Does your really not imaginry friend want a cookie, then?"

He approaches slowly and reaches out to touch John's shoulder.

John swats at...nothing.

"Do you think they'd laugh if you took the offered snack and attempted to give it to nothing?

"Cookies are bad for your cholesterol," John answers blankly.

"These are low-fat," Rory answered.

"How very polite of her. Take a cookie, John. Make your friend happy.

John tries to ignore the thing. "Give it to Professor Skeeter. She's put on weight in the hips recently."

And he might back away more, edging closer to the back of the room.

"Why don't you?" Rory suggested, looking concerned. "Um. Or am I not following today's thing correctly?"

Scorpius tsk's him. "Refusing a courteous gesture. So unlike you, John.

"Shut up!" John shouts, pointing at the air. "I'm the nicest guy around!"

"Your professor does not seem to think so."

"Professor Skeeter is a clueless old fossil."

Oh, oops.

Rita sighed and lazily pointed her wand at him.

"Enjoy your time as a zebra."

Of course, he was a very wee zebra. She had learned her lesson, and had shrunk him down to the size of a small dog.

John was almost glad to be a zebra. He thought Scorpius would go away but, as soon as he was finished being shrunk, he looked up...and Scorpius was still there.

"This is what you do in your spare time? Very odd."

John gallops as far away as he can.

Rory scurried after him to offer the wee zebra a cookie.

John hides somewhere dark, where he can't see anything. He closes his eyes and just hides.

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