fandomhigh | Library is Open, 3/29

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Library is Open, 3/29

Zero opened up the library again today, carrying a box of danishes from Jeff, God of Biscuits', which she set up behind the collections desk.

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"Parker is a scary, scary woman, and I say this as her friend. I can only imagine she'd be more scary with lawyers."

"I'm thinking her lawyers are a bunch of sharks. Literally. She dangles the people she's suing above the tank and threatens to drop them in if they don't give in."

Zero shuddered. "I hate sharks. So I can see how that would be effective."

Okay, no shark talk from now on. "So, how're you? Being treated well by the books?"

"Mostly. Books don't talk back." She eyed the door to Special Collections and added, "Well. Most books."

"They actually talk?" Peter asked, looking at the door. "I wonder how they do that without a larynx."

"Magic?" Zero shrugged. "I've given up figuring it out. Not good for my sanity."

"Probably a good call. Anything with magic just goes right over my head anyway," Peter admitted. But he was still curious.

"What do they say? Like, do they tell you where certain books or, or do they tell bad jokes, or recite themselves or something?"

"Some of them recite themselves, or they insult the reader. There's one that screams whenever you take it off the shelf."

"Hopefully that one's good enough to be worth the trouble of having it scream at you," Peter said. "Otherwise, why take it off the shelf in the first place?"

"I have no squallin' idea, I don't even know what the darn thing is about. I've never gotten as far as opening it. Maybe if I had earplugs?"

"Earplugs, headphones, and other ambient noise, maybe?" Peter suggested.

"Hmm. Might work...so, did you come in here for anything in particular, or just to talk to me about screaming books?"

"I had a break between classes, so I thought I'd stop in here to study. I really hope nothing distracts me from that, though," Peter said seriously.

"Oh, no, it would be a terrible thing to distract you from your studies," Zero said equally seriously.

"I tend to really focus when I'm doing something, so it would have to be really distracting," Peter said. "And then my focus would be on whatever distracted me. That would be a shame."

"Well, then, I should really go back to what I was doing and let you focus on your studies. I'd hate for you to fail all your classes on account of wee little me."

"Oops. I think I'm too focused on something besides my studies already. I'm not going to get anything done now," Peter said. Woefully. "Oh well. I'll just have to rely on luck and guesswork."

"Woe. Well, you're a smart boy. I'm sure you'll get by somehow."

"It's not like I have any tests coming up for a couple weeks anyway," Peter said. "Any studying I do now is excessive and nerdy. Not that there's anything wrong with that."

"Nerdy is good. But excessively nerdy? Jury's still out on that one."

"No, not 'excessively nerdy.' 'Excessive' as in 'excessive studying' and 'nerdy' as in 'just plain old regular nerdy'," Peter explained. "Slight but important difference. Although this probably counts as 'excessively nerdy' so I'll stop now."

"I'll forgive you for being excessively nerdy. But just this once," Zero teased.

"I should warn you, the excessive nerdiness is going to happen every now and then. Is there any chance I could earn bonus forgiveness for that through good behavior or something?" Peter asked.

"I'm sure we could negotiate something like that."

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