Don't Do the Thing: Decision Making For Dummies [Tues, 3rd Period]

[jedigrammarians]

Aphra's first class wasn't being held in the Danger Shop, instead taking place in an ordinary classroom. Whether this was a good sign remained to be seen.

"Welcome to 'Decision Making For Dummies', I'm Doctor Aphra, and I'll be teaching you all about how not to get yourself killed in a fist of stupidity," she declared, smiling broadly in a way that totally didn't indicate their first mistake was signing up to the class. "Trust me, I've got experience here."

Totally not a mistake.

"First things, introductions, I recognise some of you, but there's also some newbies." Or people she'd forgotten, same diff. "Also it's a tradition. So name, class, and instead of telling us why you're taking the class, demonstrate why you need it by telling us all about some horribly embarrassing mistake you've made. Preferably recently."

Comments

Re: Introductions - DMD [01]

[refused2berescued]

"Uma, daughter of Ursula," Uma said. "I'm a sophomore, I think. And my biggest mistake was not checking to see if the dog could talk before trading the hostage for the magic wand."

Yes, she was still bitter about that.

Re: Introductions - DMD [01]

[jedigrammarians]

Aphra blinked as she parsed that sentence. "Well, there's a story there."

Re: Introductions - DMD [01]

[refused2berescued]

Uma shrugged like it was a fairly normal thing. "I was holding the king hostage to convince my old rival--his girlfriend--to steal and give me the Fairy Godmother's magic wand, so me and my crew could bring down the wards around the Isle. But she used a fake, convinced me it was real by having some kind of obnoxious talking dog--" Uma's lip curled. "--and then traded me the fake wand for King Ben."

Re: Introductions - DMD [01]

[jedigrammarians]

"The lesson there is always get independent verification before you go through with a deal."

A normal teacher might have said the lesson was don't kidnap people and hold them for ransom, but, Aphra.

Re: Introductions - DMD [01]

[refused2berescued]

"Not possible," Uma said, giving Aphra a look. Because, come on, like she hadn't thought of that. "She wasn't going to give me the wand without the king and anyone else we gave it to would have tried to make off with it immediately. It's the most powerful magical artifact in the world. It's the only thing strong enough to cast a spell behind the Isle's wards--which was why I told her to do something. I just hadn't realized she had a dog that could already talk with her."

Which was Uma's own fault, considering Pongo and Perdita were on the King's Council, so it's not like the idea of talking dogs was new.

Re: Introductions - DMD [01]

[jedigrammarians]

"In which case you've gotta backstab them first."

Why were you like this, Aphra?

Re: Introductions - DMD [01]

[refused2berescued]

No, no this was the first class Uma could understand.

"I figured kidnapping her boyfriend and king would count," Uma said. "I mean, I did show up and put him under a lovespell a few days later, but that wasn't just for spite."

But largely!