fandomhigh | Don't Do the Thing: Decision Making For Dummies [Tues, 3rd Period]

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decision making

Don't Do the Thing: Decision Making For Dummies [Tues, 3rd Period]

Aphra's first class wasn't being held in the Danger Shop, instead taking place in an ordinary classroom. Whether this was a good sign remained to be seen.

"Welcome to 'Decision Making For Dummies', I'm Doctor Aphra, and I'll be teaching you all about how not to get yourself killed in a fist of stupidity," she declared, smiling broadly in a way that totally didn't indicate their first mistake was signing up to the class. "Trust me, I've got experience here."

Totally not a mistake.

"First things, introductions, I recognise some of you, but there's also some newbies." Or people she'd forgotten, same diff. "Also it's a tradition. So name, class, and instead of telling us why you're taking the class, demonstrate why you need it by telling us all about some horribly embarrassing mistake you've made. Preferably recently."

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Making a terrible mistake.

Theron Shan

Prince Sidon

Yang Xiao Long

Peebee

Jason Lee Scott

Uma

Rhys

Rey

FN-2187

Mara Jade

Best teacher? Best teacher.

Just ignore that Aphra is taking notes, 'kay?

Would introductions ever cease to be Sidon's favorite part of his classes? Probably not! Especially when there was a brand new (to him) teacher to impress with his!

"Greetings and salutations!" he proclaimed as he stood, opening his arms wide. "I am Sidon!" And this was the best part, really, where he pumped that fist across his chest, smiled his brightest smile, and let the light catch perfectly on his sharp teeth. "The Zora Prince! I am a member of the sophomore class, and I am in sore need of this class, as I have a rather fresh wound from brash actions and stupidity! I had thrown myself into a fray I should have known would have spelled my doom, if only I had been thinking clearly! Blinded by my rage and my betrayal, I attacked a version of myself from the future, one who was bigger, stronger, and fueled by the same vile evil that has ravished my homeland. I would not be standing here today if it were not for the excellent timing and the splendid aim of the brave warrior Breq, who shot my older self just as he was prepared to deliver the finishing blow! It was a truly foolish mistake that would have resulted in a terrible tragedy not only for myself, but also for the people back home who depend on me."

Well, someone was enthusiastic. And toothy. "You come in bigger sizes?"

Very helpful, Aphra.

"Oh, yes!" Sidon answered brightly with an excited bounce. "While most Zora are smaller than me, I am heir to the throne! That means I will likely continue to grow larger and larger until the day I die, and one day, I hope to be so big I can barely fit in this here room! Oh, that would be just splendid! And if my horrible other self was any indication, I am well on the right path to be a truly sizeable king indeed!"

"Yang Xiao Long, junior, and I challenged that girl to a drinking contest," she said from behind her dark sunglasses, pointing at Peebee. "Worth it."

Edited 2018-01-02 15:59 (UTC)

"I like your style, kid." Drinking contests with pretty girls were only a problem if you didn't have your wallet when you recovered from the hangover.

"Jason," he introduced himself with a wave. "Junior. I stole a cow and put it in a school locker room."

Don't snigger Aphra, you were meant to be the responsible one. "Your mistake there was actually getting caught."

"No kidding," Jason said. "But hey, I traded house arrest and the ankle bracelet for boarding school, so... win, I guess?"

"Uma, daughter of Ursula," Uma said. "I'm a sophomore, I think. And my biggest mistake was not checking to see if the dog could talk before trading the hostage for the magic wand."

Yes, she was still bitter about that.

Aphra blinked as she parsed that sentence. "Well, there's a story there."

Uma shrugged like it was a fairly normal thing. "I was holding the king hostage to convince my old rival--his girlfriend--to steal and give me the Fairy Godmother's magic wand, so me and my crew could bring down the wards around the Isle. But she used a fake, convinced me it was real by having some kind of obnoxious talking dog--" Uma's lip curled. "--and then traded me the fake wand for King Ben."

"The lesson there is always get independent verification before you go through with a deal."

A normal teacher might have said the lesson was don't kidnap people and hold them for ransom, but, Aphra.

"Not possible," Uma said, giving Aphra a look. Because, come on, like she hadn't thought of that. "She wasn't going to give me the wand without the king and anyone else we gave it to would have tried to make off with it immediately. It's the most powerful magical artifact in the world. It's the only thing strong enough to cast a spell behind the Isle's wards--which was why I told her to do something. I just hadn't realized she had a dog that could already talk with her."

Which was Uma's own fault, considering Pongo and Perdita were on the King's Council, so it's not like the idea of talking dogs was new.

"In which case you've gotta backstab them first."

Why were you like this, Aphra?

No, no this was the first class Uma could understand.

"I figured kidnapping her boyfriend and king would count," Uma said. "I mean, I did show up and put him under a lovespell a few days later, but that wasn't just for spite."

But largely!

"Theron," he said, arms crossed. "Does taking this class count?"

Someone was becoming very comfortable with sarcasm, very quickly.

More than he thought, considering the only thing keeping him from being recognised was that he existed in a state of probably-not-canon for Aphra.

"Ha. Ha ha."

"I'm Rey, and I'm a junior, I think." She still didn't really get how that all went, mostly because she didn't want to. "I touched a light and ended up on here, on a different planet, for some reason."

"Don't touch strange lights, never ends well." Rey could probably figure that out on her own, Aphra.

She makes great life choices!

...

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Don't Do the Thing: Decision Making For Dummies [Tues, 3rd Period]

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