Fandom High Welcome Picnic, Front Lawn of the School, All Day: Part I

[bigdamnprincipal]

There really was just no getting around the fact that it was cold outside today as Fandom welcomed its newest residents. Food? Check. Nametags and lists for people to look at for their siblings and roommates? Check. Bonfire? Definite check, it was hard to miss in the center of the lawn. Temperature away from the fire? Around 40F/5C.

At least there was a lot of warm food and chairs by the fire?

[OCD is up! This is part one of the picnic, specifically for meeting siblings, roommates, and teachers. The rest of the picnic is happening here. Since it's outside, the picnic is open to all students, teachers, and townies!]

Comments

Re: Meet Your Teachers! [Spring 2018]

[arboreal_priestess]

"Well, you're not a giant tree-rock-guy," Verity said, raising her mug to him in greeting. "So I'm pretty sure this introduction is already going better than our last one did."

She held out her hand. "Hi, I'm Verity. I'm guessing you're my new teaching buddy?"

The flames didn't even faze her. She was kinda wondering if they were hot and how good friends you had to be before asking if you could warm your hands on them.

Fortunately, she wasn't going to be saying that part aloud.

Re: Meet Your Teachers! [Spring 2018]

[furnaceface]

It was okay, Verity. Jono had had people ask him about roasting marshmallows, before. Warming hands was nothing, really, by comparison.

//Lord,// he said, shaking his head, but reaching to shake her hand, too, //do me a favour and don't remind me of the giant rock guy, would you? I'm not above taking my teaching buddy ball and bat and going back home, after all.//

He was teasing. You could tell because it came out dry as the Sahara and he wasn't actually leaving.

//But yes, I'm your new teaching buddy. Jonothon. Jon or Jono for short, if you prefer.//

Re: Meet Your Teachers! [Spring 2018]

[arboreal_priestess]

Yes, but Karla had asked him for that out of love. Assholish love, but still love!

"Oh no," Verity said, looking around wide-eyed at the other picnic goers on this side of the fire. "But then whereever will I find another teacher to show me the ropes?"

She was teasing back. You could tell because--well, mostly because she was talking. But the hint of a smile around her lips and eyes helped, too.

"And just Verity is fine by me." Very was a nickname that only her dad got to use on penalty of grenade and who thought Ver was a good nickname anyhow?

Re: Meet Your Teachers! [Spring 2018]

[furnaceface]

//Verity it is, then,// Jono replied, fully intending to come up with some kind of nickname eventually anyway, or just call her 'luv' a lot. //And I probably won't run off and leave you to your own devices. After all, your only other option is probably Deadpool, at this point.//

You were great, Wade, except for how you were nuts.

Re: Meet Your Teachers! [Spring 2018]

[arboreal_priestess]

Verity frowned, looking around to see if she could spot someone who'd go by 'Deadpool.' Honestly, the red and black pajamas with the swords would probably tip her off if he were here. "Yeah, no thanks," she said. "He's the reason I'm teaching at all this semester."

Re: Meet Your Teachers! [Spring 2018]

[furnaceface]

Jono's eyebrows quirked up a little at that.

//Oh no,// he replied. //Which topic did he naff up so much that you felt as though you needed to set the record straight? Magical crystals? Arts and crafts?//

Re: Meet Your Teachers! [Spring 2018]

[arboreal_priestess]

"Cryptozoology," Verity said crisply. "My family's been cryptozoologists for generations."

Right after they'd hopped off the cryptogenocide train. Which still sometimes made things awkward when dealing with the sapient cryptids.

It was my OTHER character who was teaching arts and crafts this semester

Re: Meet Your Teachers! [Spring 2018]

[furnaceface]

//... Ah, lord,// Jono replied, nodding knowingly. //I can see how that one might've touched a nerve. I can't even imagine where he'd get his information for a class like that from. Conspiracy theorist communities on the internet? Bubblegum cards?//

Re: Meet Your Teachers! [Spring 2018]

[arboreal_priestess]

"I mean, I should probably be grateful?" Verity said. "In my world, we try to make every reported cryptid sighting sound like a hoax or a bad conspiracy to help protect them." The Prices loooooved conspiracy theorist communities on the internet. "But this place has teal deal and alots and gremlins, so that cactus cat is already out of the bag."

Which had meant that his shoddy information was downright insulting.

Re: Meet Your Teachers! [Spring 2018]

[furnaceface]

//Yeah, I think most things that are considered odd elsewhere mostly just get a shrug and a 'whatever' around here,// Jono allowed.

Case in point: Jono.

//And in a place where running into any of those things could be a very real possibility someday, having the proper information is a must.//

Re: Meet Your Teachers! [Spring 2018]

[arboreal_priestess]

Verity had never met a person on fire before, but once you spoke to a woman with snakes for hair and an Ukupani mid-transformation between man and shark, a little thing like 'on psychedelic fire' was pretty easy to wave away.

"Exactly!" Verity agreed. "Though after a couple of weeks ago, I'm thinking of adding snake cults and the honeycomb theory of the universe to my curriculum."

Re: Meet Your Teachers! [Spring 2018]

[furnaceface]

//Honeycomb theory?// Jono tilted his head a little, curiously. //I'm afraid I'm not familiar with that one, unless it's exactly what it sounds like?//

A bunch of little realities, all tucked together neat and tidy?

Re: Meet Your Teachers! [Spring 2018]

[arboreal_priestess]

Sort of!

"Okay, so you can consider our dimension as one cell in a really, really big honeycomb. It's touching other realities, all sort of parallel, all sort of not. What you get is determined by what direction you go--and don't ask how you know what dimension you're going, I am not a dimensional traveler. That's my Grandma Alice's job. Anyway, if you travel on the vertical--" she swept her hand out between them, palm flat. "--you get humanoids, things that generally look like life on this planet, though the further you go, the more differences there are."

Cuckoos had probably come from a horizontal dimension, not that Verity was up for having a discussion about a race of humanoid, sociopathic telepaths descended from sociopathic, telepathic wasps a million steps up their evolutionary ladder.

Even if her Cousin Sarah was a peach.

Re: Meet Your Teachers! [Spring 2018]

[furnaceface]

Jono nodded along, listening to the whole spiel thoughtfully.

//So far as interdimensional theory goes, that one makes more sense than most,// he admitted. //I wonder if the folks at Portalocity have any insight, there. Not that I'd trust half of what they'd say, anyway.//

He'd gotten trapped in unfortunate stopovers a few too many time.

Re: Meet Your Teachers! [Spring 2018]

[arboreal_priestess]

Verity shrugged; she'd had blissfully few Portalocity interactions in her life thus far.

"You go vertical then, you get things that differ from us in that they're rarely humanoid, but are statistically likely to be more like us overall--friendly, intelligent, empathic." She grimaced. "Not that humanity is stellar overall at those traits--" why yes, Covenant of St. Thomas, she was side-eyeing you, "most beings in this dimension have varying levels of them greater than zero."

Until you put them in groups. And then everything crashed down, starting with intelligence.

"And if you travel on the diagonal, you get the weird shit. Frequently snakes. Like, three times outta four, snakes."

Re: Meet Your Teachers! [Spring 2018]

[furnaceface]

//Most individuals do, yes,// Jono replied, nodding along. //... And snakes? Oh?//

Really, Earth had snakes, too.

Not all of them were actually reptiles, but they were there.

Re: Meet Your Teachers! [Spring 2018]

[arboreal_priestess]

"Yeah, snakes," Verity said. "Snakes on a cosmic scale that can sometimes break reality. Hell if I know why. Hell if anyone knows why. At this point, our best guess is that the universe really just enjoys making snakes."

Big, giant, brain-breaking, super-power snakes.

It was weird.

"But you ever notice how prevalent they are in human religions?"

Re: Meet Your Teachers! [Spring 2018]

[furnaceface]

//Now you mention it....// Jono gave a thoughtful nod. //Always sort of figured it was because they were practically everywhere and so different from humans. Maybe at least in part because of the healthy fear of the venomous ones...//

He shrugged.

//I suppose if it's actually snakes all th'way down, that'd do it, too.//

Re: Meet Your Teachers! [Spring 2018]

[arboreal_priestess]

"My mom has a whole lecture prepared about it," Verity said with a shrug. "She says part of it's because of monomyths and part is because all religions are at least a little bit right, but it's at least partially because there are a really disturbing number of dimensions filled with nothing but big, fuck-off snakes. And because of that number, people have run into them at various points throughout history. And because humans are predictable in really bad ways, there are always people who think summoning a giant snake from another dimension is going to help them get their heart's desire."

Re: Meet Your Teachers! [Spring 2018]

[furnaceface]

//And those people are stupid,// Jono added, even though that part really went without saying. //And hopefully they were the first to get eaten.//

He kind of had this thing about cultish crazies.

Re: Meet Your Teachers! [Spring 2018]

[arboreal_priestess]

"I generally assume that's their heart's desire, cause it's the only thing that makes sense," Verity said. "In which case, interdimensional snake entities have an impressive ratio of answering prayers."

She also didn't sound terribly broken up about it.

Re: Meet Your Teachers! [Spring 2018]

[furnaceface]

//And dumbasses are apparently delicious.// Jono shook his head a little. //I think a class about how not to get eaten by snakes from the wrong direction in the honeycomb wouldn't go amiss out here, no.//

Re: Meet Your Teachers! [Spring 2018]

[arboreal_priestess]

"But it would boil down to saying, 'Don't be an idiot, no really,'" Verity pointed out. "I don't know if that would help. Once you start thinking that summoning a giant snake from another dimension will solve your problems, you're long past the point where being told not to be an idiot is going to work."

Re: Meet Your Teachers! [Spring 2018]

[furnaceface]

//Wouldn't be a bad way to weed out the students who would probably be best handled by tying them up and locking them in a closet until they stop being idiots, though.//

Jono was truly a gentle touch when it came to students.

... No, really, he was. He was just also a cranky ass, too.

Re: Meet Your Teachers! [Spring 2018]

[arboreal_priestess]

"Is that your first piece of teaching advice?" Verity asked, grinning. "Lock them up in a closet until they stop being idiots? Because I'm suddenly worried about the number of available closets we have, even in a castle that size."