fandomhigh | Oh the Humanity!: Friendship is International Adventure, Thursday, period 1

The class had been ~~handwavily~~ notified this week to come dressed for a warm, wet hike. Pinkie, for one, was wearing a cliche bright yellow raincoat, hat, and galoshes. Eliot was more traditionally decked out in waterproof hiking boots and a lightweight, rain-proof jacket. They had extras in case any of the students didn't get the message or were otherwise ill-prepared.

"Guess what, everypony?" Pinkie enthused when everyone was gathered and properly attired. "This week we're going to one of the most exotic places on this whole planet!"

"Unless you're actually from a tropical rainforest," Eliot pointed out. "Then it ain't exotic at all."

"It's so neat that they've even got their very own division of disease research!"

"We've got bug spray," Eliot noted. "I don't want anyone coming home with zika. Or malaria." Malaria sucked ass.

"There are fish there that eat people!"

"Which is why we're not going in the water," Eliot said.

"And big hungry jungle cats!"

"Actually, jaguars are relatively small compared to lions or tigers."

"And adorable giant river otters!"

"That can take out the caymans."

"And man eating sloths!"

Eliot shook his head. "Ain't even a thing."

"Then why do they have such large claws?"

The portal opened up behind them, which was good because Eliot had no idea how to respond to that. Instead, he gestured for Pinkie to the lead the way into the jungle.

"We're meeting a professional guide there. I know we usually let you all have some free reign on these trips, but this time, I gotta ask y'all to not wander off. Pinkie ain't got a firm grasp on reality, but the Amazon is not a place to fuck around." He smiled despite his hard tone. "It's just also not one to be missed, if ya can help it."

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Eliot was getting such a look for that.

Don't think Eliot didn't see that look. "What?" he asked.

"Why were you eating snake-hearts?" she asked.

Was this something she was going to have to do once she signed a contract? Because no one had mentioned this beforehand, just saying.

"One," Eliot said. "One snake heart. I was keepin' the mark off-balance."

"From a real snake?" she checked, just to make sure she was truly understanding the nuances of the situation.

Eliot shrugged. "Sure." He wasn't the sort to think ahead enough to bring a fake snake to South America just for a bit. "It was gonna attack us, so I took it out. Then -- saw an opportunity."

"...To eat its heart." How was that an opportunity, Eliot?

"To keep the guy off balance." Eliot sometimes made weird choices when he was trying to grift. "It was a tough job. We were workin' a con man. It was go big or go home and let him walk off with people's life savings."

"Oooh, trying to con a con man has to be tough," Kathy said, trying to think of how she'd take down someone who knew all of her moves in advance. "Could you explain how the snake thing was involved? I mean--yeah, off-balance, but that doesn't explain why you were doing it in the first place."

"I was a distraction," Eliot said. "We flew the bastard down to Latin America to take a look at cocoa fields and I was playin' his local guide. We were traipsin' through the brush and the snake just kinda -- showed up. Whole point was to be terrible con-men -- Nate called it the 'moonwalking bear' -- so I played up the crazy."

See? All totally reasonable.

"Got him so focused on how terrible you were and how much better he was that he stopped looking for the hook?" Kathy asked, intrigued. "That makes sense. The name is pretty stupid, but it's evocative enough."

She was still side-eyeing him a little though. Because: snake heart. Raw snake heart.

"I'm assuming he bought it?" Because, for a third time, snake heart.

Hey, snake was tasty.

It was admittedly usually better cooked.

"He bought that we were tryin' to con him, yeah," Eliot said. "Didn't even notice Hardison was drainin' his accounts and gatherin' evidence to turn him over to the feds."

"So, in the end, you didn't even con him?" Kathy said, a delighted grin spreading over her face. "You just straight up stole from him and then had him arrested! That's hilarious!"

"Of course," Eliot said. "You can't con a con man."

"Life lessons to live by," Kathy said solemnly. "I should learn more about conning people. Just to know what to watch out for, I mean," she said quickly. "I don't think I'd be much good at the actual conning part."

"We can certainly teach ya some of the basics," Eliot agreed. "Most of what I do's more straight-forward, but I picked up some things over the years."

He'd had whole conversations made up of con names. That was a little bit more than "picked up some things".

"Can you all switch off and do each other's jobs?" Kathy asked, fascinated. "Because that takes skill."

"Depends," Eliot said. "We've all picked up some grifting, though some of us are better at it than others. And we've all taken a swing at runnin' a job." Again, some more successfully than others. Eliot was just fine with only having taken point on the Zanzibar Marketplace Job. That'd been his wheelhouse, and had involved less conning than it did negotiating and predicting the other guy's next move. "But lord help ya if you gotta ask me to do any hacking or safe cracking. Or Hardison to pick a pocket or get in a fist fight."

"I'm trying to figure out where I fit in," Kathy said. "I mean, I know I run on a slightly different trajectory, but I don't have the skills to be a mastermind, a grifter, a thief, or a hacker, and I don't think I have the temperament to be a hitter."

Oh the Humanity!: Friendship is International Adventure, Thursday, period 1

Re: Talk to your teachers

Re: Talk to your teachers

Re: Talk to your teachers

Re: Talk to your teachers

Re: Talk to your teachers

Re: Talk to your teachers

Re: Talk to your teachers

Re: Talk to your teachers

Re: Talk to your teachers

Re: Talk to your teachers

Re: Talk to your teachers

Re: Talk to your teachers

Re: Talk to your teachers

Re: Talk to your teachers

Re: Talk to your teachers

Re: Talk to your teachers

Re: Talk to your teachers

Re: Talk to your teachers

Re: Talk to your teachers