fandomhigh | Doctoring 101 (07/17)

Once again, because Navaan's students were the absolute luckiest, they were meeting in town to catch a portal back to Navaan's world. "I hope you have your bags and your leeches," she announced as soon as they were gathered. "Because today we're going to actually start doctoring! I'm friends with these monks and I take care of them. I even killed a god to keep my little guys safe, so a few ground rules. Rule one: These guys are important to me, so take this very seriously. I want to see everyone's A-games, you got that? Rule two: These are my patients. I'm letting you help them because you're my students, but absolutely no poaching. You can get your own patients on your own time. Rule three: Okay, I forget rule three, but I'm sure it's important and I'll tell you as soon as I remember it. Don't break it anyway, you've been warned."

She glared at the class, making sure that they saw she was very, very serious. "Now, when we get to them, you're each gonna get a monk, you'll diagnose the issue, and then we'll discuss what we think the best treatment is." The portal opened behind her and she gestured her students through. "Oh! Right! I remember Rule Three!"

When the students stepped through the portal, they'd see a brilliant circus under the night sky. Lanterns and torches provided light, there were people teeming everywhere, with barkers crying out games, wares, and sideshows. "The third rule is..." Navaan began as she stepped out from the portal. Then she stopped, staring in fascination at the circus.

"Why didn't anyone tell me this was on?" she asked, before running pell-mell towards the big top. "Let's go, guys! We're going to the circus!"

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Prove your strength and agility. Wrestle a jelly golem!

If anyone needed Elsa, she was going to be standing and staring at this particular attraction in a sort of transfixed horror, occasionally ducking the odd glob of flying jelly.

She wasn't smiling so much as wearing a horrified rictus. Why was this happening?

"I think this is officially stranger than the weekend was," Eleanor noted.

Which was really saying something.

"Yeah," Elsa agreed, still staring in horror, "I'm pretty certain you're right."

A fleck of lime jelly flew toward her, splattering on her shoulder.

...

"How is this actually happening?"

What was her life?

"I assume the jelly's been animated via some sort of magical spell," Eleanor mused. "Or else it's a person wearing an elaborate costume."

This was probably not her actual question, Eleanor.

"I think I can see right through it sometimes," Elsa replied, still staring in what was almost certainly horror. "I occasionally catch glimpses of... the other... wrestler. Through it."

You know. Parts of the other wrestler.

Oh my.

"I don't think I'm going to be participating in this one," Eleanor decided, solemnly. "It would be far too difficult to wrestle jelly. One's grasp would keep sliding away."

Don't ask Eleanor about Blind Chicken Melee, Elsa. Just don't.

Elsa was trying not to think about the Blind Chicken Melee, thanks.

"I don't think I would fare much better," she admitted, blinking over at Eleanor. "Grip or no grip. I'm pretty certain I'd lose my nerve."

"I seem to just be embracing the chaos," Eleanor noted, with no small amount of amusement. "Normal rules of propriety do not apply here. Otherwise I'd be getting far odder looks for carrying around this."

'This' was, of course, a large plushie in the shape of the word cocksucker (http://fandomhigh.livejournal.com/3657766.html?thread=208556326#t208556326).

This was about the point where Elsa's brain tried to rebel on her, maybe to crawl out of her ear and hie away into the woods, never to be seen or heard from again. Life would be much less horrifying that way, for certain.

She closed her eyes for a moment. Opened them again.

Nope. Cocksucker was still there.

"Well, if it makes you feel any better at all, you can have as many odd looks as you like from me."

Joker had a transfixed grin, too, but his was very different from Elsa's. "This? Is a thing of beauty," he remarked conversationally.

"I think," Elsa said, sounding a bit baffled, "that your definition of beauty and mine might differ slightly."

Slightly. A little. Maybe?

Elsa wasn't even sure.

"And I think you're just intimidated by how titillating it all is. Just try to relax. Let go a little."

People kept saying that to Elsa. She had no idea why!

"What could I possibly gain by letting go here? I'm not climbing into that ring, if that's what you're suggesting."

She would destroy yet another dress in this class, for a start!

"Well, much as I'd like to see that, no, it's not what I meant. Just... relax, and try to have fun." He gestured at the wrestlers. "C'mon, admit it -- as horrified as you are, there's a tiny part of you that's enjoying this. It's okay to say so. No one else is paying any attention, and the only person judging you, here, is a complete and total pervert."

Joker was getting a bit of a sideways smile at that.

"I suppose some of the, um, shapes... are eye-catching," Elsa noted, "though that could very well be the way the lighting is catching the jelly, too."

It was sort of difficult to look away from, truth be told.

"Yes, yes, it's very fetching," Joker agreed. "Well-sculpted."

"Very well-sculpted," Elsa agreed, right back to distractedly watching the proceedings. "And they're very... confident."

Endowed. The word was 'endowed.'

Okay, no, this was better than the fetish fight. Especially when the other wrestler was female.

Doctoring 101 (07/17)

Jelly Golem Wrestling

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