fandomhigh | Doctoring 101 (07/17)

Once again, because Navaan's students were the absolute luckiest, they were meeting in town to catch a portal back to Navaan's world. "I hope you have your bags and your leeches," she announced as soon as they were gathered. "Because today we're going to actually start doctoring! I'm friends with these monks and I take care of them. I even killed a god to keep my little guys safe, so a few ground rules. Rule one: These guys are important to me, so take this very seriously. I want to see everyone's A-games, you got that? Rule two: These are my patients. I'm letting you help them because you're my students, but absolutely no poaching. You can get your own patients on your own time. Rule three: Okay, I forget rule three, but I'm sure it's important and I'll tell you as soon as I remember it. Don't break it anyway, you've been warned."

She glared at the class, making sure that they saw she was very, very serious. "Now, when we get to them, you're each gonna get a monk, you'll diagnose the issue, and then we'll discuss what we think the best treatment is." The portal opened behind her and she gestured her students through. "Oh! Right! I remember Rule Three!"

When the students stepped through the portal, they'd see a brilliant circus under the night sky. Lanterns and torches provided light, there were people teeming everywhere, with barkers crying out games, wares, and sideshows. "The third rule is..." Navaan began as she stepped out from the portal. Then she stopped, staring in fascination at the circus.

"Why didn't anyone tell me this was on?" she asked, before running pell-mell towards the big top. "Let's go, guys! We're going to the circus!"

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"Yeah," Elsa agreed, still staring in horror, "I'm pretty certain you're right."

A fleck of lime jelly flew toward her, splattering on her shoulder.

...

"How is this actually happening?"

What was her life?

"I assume the jelly's been animated via some sort of magical spell," Eleanor mused. "Or else it's a person wearing an elaborate costume."

This was probably not her actual question, Eleanor.

"I think I can see right through it sometimes," Elsa replied, still staring in what was almost certainly horror. "I occasionally catch glimpses of... the other... wrestler. Through it."

You know. Parts of the other wrestler.

Oh my.

"I don't think I'm going to be participating in this one," Eleanor decided, solemnly. "It would be far too difficult to wrestle jelly. One's grasp would keep sliding away."

Don't ask Eleanor about Blind Chicken Melee, Elsa. Just don't.

Elsa was trying not to think about the Blind Chicken Melee, thanks.

"I don't think I would fare much better," she admitted, blinking over at Eleanor. "Grip or no grip. I'm pretty certain I'd lose my nerve."

"I seem to just be embracing the chaos," Eleanor noted, with no small amount of amusement. "Normal rules of propriety do not apply here. Otherwise I'd be getting far odder looks for carrying around this."

'This' was, of course, a large plushie in the shape of the word cocksucker (http://fandomhigh.livejournal.com/3657766.html?thread=208556326#t208556326).

This was about the point where Elsa's brain tried to rebel on her, maybe to crawl out of her ear and hie away into the woods, never to be seen or heard from again. Life would be much less horrifying that way, for certain.

She closed her eyes for a moment. Opened them again.

Nope. Cocksucker was still there.

"Well, if it makes you feel any better at all, you can have as many odd looks as you like from me."

Doctoring 101 (07/17)

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