fandomhigh | How to Make Friends and Influence People [Tuesday, April 22, 2014]

How to Make Friends and Influence People [Tuesday, April 22, 2014]

If you thought you were getting out of Anakin Kriffing Skywalker's class without an examination, you were sadly, sadly mistaken. "There are four essay questions," he said, passing out the papers, "and then one practical examination question. Please don't hurt yourself too badly. I don't want to have to explain it to your parents, and the paperwork for this sort of thing is completely ridiculous."

He glanced up when he was finished passing everything out. "You have been an adequate group of students when you bother to listen. You will probably not die horribly."

...and thank you, Anakin.

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Afraid.

Elsa of Arendelle

Topher Brink

Korra

Victor Mancha

Cosette Fauchelevent

Joker Moreau

Toby Logan

Mercy Thompson

Jessica Drew

You are at a cocktail party for networking purposes. Upon arriving do you:

1) Get a glass of something to drink, knowing that if you don't talk to many people, you might end up intoxicated and saying something stupid;
2) Get some food, knowing that it's hard to talk with your mouth full;
3) Get food and drink, knowing you will then not have a hand free to shake with people;
4) Stand around with nothing, looking like a potential creepy person.

Explain your choice.

Elsa blinked at the question, and then decided to just answer it honestly. She circled four.

I try not to do anything that will end with me being intoxicated, and it's difficult to socialize with a full mouth. I don't know of any rule that says I need either in order to talk to people, though. That is the entire purpose of this cocktail party, is it not? Perhaps I'll take a glass for appearances, but I doubt I'll drink from it much.

Topher circled the third one.

Unless it's spinach puffs, he scrawled as an addition to the answer.

Edited 2014-04-22 13:07 (UTC)

Korra circled one.

I'll just take really small sips.

Victor wondered if none of the above was an option, but circled the first one.

I get a soda so the worst that can happen is a sugar high.

Cosette circled 2, then wrote underneath:

Of course it's hard to talk with one's mouth full, but it wouldn't be polite to eat in an uncivilized manner at a party anyway, would it? And if someone were impatient enough to start a conversation with me when they could plainly see I had food in my mouth then they perfectly well ought (this was underlined twice for emphasis) to wait until I'm in a fit state to speak to them again, and they certainly wouldn't have made a nice first impression that way.

Joker circled number 4.

I'm not going to look like a creepy person if I'm not carrying something -- I've already got my hands pretty full. I WILL look like a complete tool trying to eat anything off of a plate, unless I've got a table to set it on. Not that I'm not going to get refreshments, because I will, but I'm going to find a place to sit down when I do and so not be able to mingle effectively.

5) I grab a glass, don't drink much, and actually network.

The two sides you have been sent in to negotiate between are being completely unreasonable. Besides shooting one, both, or all of the people in the room, how do you get negotiations started again?

I suppose that would depend on what we're negotiating about. If they're too busy arguing with one another to discuss the topic at hand, the thing to do would be to get their attention away from one another, step up, and become the focus in the room. Perhaps there's a third option that hasn't been mentioned yet, some sort of compromise that suits both sides, if ~~their heads aren't shoved so far up their~~ they're capable of reasonable discussion at all.

Quit my job as negotiation facilitator so they can commiserate about how bad I was at it, Topher wrote.

I've got a bunch of ways to get people to pay attention to me.

Though it was doubtful Anakin wanted to know what those ways were or how much property damage they'd cause.

I try to figure out a common goal that we can all agree to work toward. Or I shout a lot.

Scold them so that they all feel properly ashamed of themselves for behaving like children, Cosette wrote. But I would do it nicely. There wouldn't be much point in making them angrier.

A milder version of that worked on her father.

If TV is anything to go by, I'll wait for an external crisis to ensue, and then lead the two negotiators on a hijinks-filled adventure wherein they need to set aside their differences and work together to survive. Once the crisis is over, we'll all look back on the events as a parable about the benefits of working together instead of against each other, and the negotiations will become easy.

Of course, it doesn't work like that in real life.

If neither side is being reasonable, I'll try some conventional tactics like asking them each to make some small good-faith concessions as a starting point, or finding a set of facts that they can all agree on which can then be used as a foundation for the discussion, or asking them to try to put themselves in the others' shoes, or taking time-outs every time they start yelling at each other.

If those things don't work, I'll try some unconventional tactics like yelling and calling them idiots, or locking us all in a room without food or water until they come up with an agreement, or giving them gold stars each time they're sane and rational and making them sit in a time-out chair if they're not.

If all else fails, I'll come up with a reasonable solution on my own and call in some heavy firepower to help enforce it.

I start taking away things from both of them until they either see reason or start agreeing just to spite me. I'm willing to keep it up until either they've both ended up with all of each others' stuff or somebody kicks me out if need be.

The protocol translator droid is broken and you don't speak the language of the people in front of you. Most of the hand gestures you grew up using are considered Quite Rude on this world. How do you explain to them that you really, really need to pee?

A lady doesn't announce that sort of thing regardless. And presumably I would have gone in at least knowing some sort of means of communication with these people. Really, it's basic common sense to learn about a people before travelling to be amongst them.

Fidget a lot, Topher wrote. I'd do that anyway.

...there are non-rude gestures for miming that you need to pee?

Depends. Can I get out of my seat and just start looking for the bathroom without them shooting me?

Please ignore how Cosette was blushing very bright red while working on this question.

I'm sure I could manage to look apologetic and excuse myself for a minute or two without needing to explain too much?

Do they just not have a language dictionary online, or has ALL of our tech malfunctioned? If it's the former, I can't imagine NOT having asked the droid to create at least a minimal dictionary in the standard format before we arrived. If it's the latter, then rude hand gestures are the LEAST of our worries.

If we really are just screwed, language-wise, I'd very humbly and ashamedly walk away from them, and try to either find whatever passes for bathrooms on their world (which there might not be) or else find a private corner and a bottle with a screw-top lid.

I back away slowly, let other people fill in the space in front of me, sneak away, and find the bathroom on my own.

Fandom Island has been overrun by zombies. Name three things you would do to influence people to help the majority of the island survive.

Am I myself?

... It seemed like an important question.

I suppose a good starting point would be to make certain people aren't out there wandering amongst the creatures. Starting some sort of safe haven that the zombies can't get into would be the first step. From there, taking stock of what supplies came into that safe place along with us. We'll need food, at least, and weapons. And then taking stock of those who can fight, those with powers that might come in useful, those who work best together. Nobody goes out alone, no matter how stubborn they want to be. We don't need our heroes going missing with nobody able to account for their whereabouts.

I could probably do a bunch of stuff without needing to directly influence people.

With that whole being the Avatar thing.

I'd start by helping to set up a safe zone for people who can't take care of themselves. Then I'd work with the other fighters to figure out a patrol schedule to protect the safe zone and get rid of the zombies as fast as we could without too many casualties. And then I go to the shop and try and build some kind of zombie frying machine.

1) Tell people to stay indoors.

2) Corral them into the library, so they can help research where the zombies came from and how to get rid of them.

3) Yell at all the superhero / soldier types to get out there and do their thing. In a safe manner.

1) Organize a team to stop the zombie invasion.

2) Find a way to bring anyone newly turned into a zombie to life.

3) Throw a party.

The simulation is up: you find yourself in front of Jabba the Hutt who is cackling maniacally and threatening, through his translator, to feed you to a rancor, whatever that is, for not paying him 50,000 credits.

Talk or fight your way out of the problem!

Yes, Anakin is in fact an evil bastard.

It would be so easy to just turn this... large, smelly slug-creature into an ice cube, if Elsa was the sort of person who did such things. It was certainly tempting.

"I'm curious if you would be feeding me to this 'rancor' beast raw, or preparing me somehow, first. You know, it's terribly irresponsible to feed a live meal to any pet. It might get hurt."

Well. There was a little bravado she hadn't been aware she had. But when large, unpleasant things jumped straight to making threats, she had little patience for them at all.

"The money owed must have slipped my notice. If you'll allow me to send word back to Arendelle, I can pay you as much, with interest."

No, Korra, don't encase the intergalactic crime-lord in ice, that won't end well.

Victor raised a hand, letting electricity crackle around it. "Sure about that? 'Cause I taste a little metallic."

... so maybe his battle cries still needed some work.

Joker made some quick assumptions about what he, personally, might have done in order to owe that much money to a person who was obviously some sort of crime lord -- and turned out to not be very far off. The main difference between Joker and Han was that Joker wouldn't have shot first. That, and the legs.

"I don't have 50K on me, obviously, but you know I'm good for it. I'm worth a hundred times that much to you if you keep me alive. Sure, I lost your cargo, but if anyone -- anyone -- else had been flying, you'd'a lost the ship and crew, too. So don't even give me that. I can tell you're not the let-bygones-be-bygones type, but I got two words for you: installment plan."

"We both know I don't have that kind of money. And let's be honest, if I did and I gave it to you, you'd spend it all on Ring Dings," Jessica said, being careful to stand at the very edge of the trap door. The second it was going to open, she was hopping up onto the "throne" platform and punching Jabba in the eye. And the hole in the floor would give her plenty of time to do that AND get in a good position to use the wide load gangster as a shield.

"Also, would it kill you to use soap once in an ever? The only reason I'm not complaining about your body odor is because I'm not sure that technically counts as a body. It's more of a cry for help, really."

She was going to keep on like that until action time.

Edited 2014-04-23 06:05 (UTC)

If you even want to talk to Anakin any more.

Thanks for being such a fun class, class!

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How to Make Friends and Influence People [Tuesday, April 22, 2014]

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Talk to Anakin!

OOC