How to Make Friends and Influence People [Tuesday, April 22, 2014]

[sith_happened]

If you thought you were getting out of Anakin Kriffing Skywalker's class without an examination, you were sadly, sadly mistaken. "There are four essay questions," he said, passing out the papers, "and then one practical examination question. Please don't hurt yourself too badly. I don't want to have to explain it to your parents, and the paperwork for this sort of thing is completely ridiculous."

He glanced up when he was finished passing everything out. "You have been an adequate group of students when you bother to listen. You will probably not die horribly."

...and thank you, Anakin.

Comments

Question 2

[sith_happened]

The two sides you have been sent in to negotiate between are being completely unreasonable. Besides shooting one, both, or all of the people in the room, how do you get negotiations started again?

Re: Question 2

[iceolatedqueen.livejournal.com]

I suppose that would depend on what we're negotiating about. If they're too busy arguing with one another to discuss the topic at hand, the thing to do would be to get their attention away from one another, step up, and become the focus in the room. Perhaps there's a third option that hasn't been mentioned yet, some sort of compromise that suits both sides, if their heads aren't shoved so far up their they're capable of reasonable discussion at all.

Re: Question 2

[dollpocalypse]

Quit my job as negotiation facilitator so they can commiserate about how bad I was at it, Topher wrote.

Re: Question 2

[failsatspirit]

I've got a bunch of ways to get people to pay attention to me.

Though it was doubtful Anakin wanted to know what those ways were or how much property damage they'd cause.

Re: Question 2

[ultron_junior]

I try to figure out a common goal that we can all agree to work toward. Or I shout a lot.

Re: Question 2

[wildandbrave]

Scold them so that they all feel properly ashamed of themselves for behaving like children, Cosette wrote. But I would do it nicely. There wouldn't be much point in making them angrier.

A milder version of that worked on her father.

Re: Question 2

[fly-so-serious.livejournal.com]

If TV is anything to go by, I'll wait for an external crisis to ensue, and then lead the two negotiators on a hijinks-filled adventure wherein they need to set aside their differences and work together to survive. Once the crisis is over, we'll all look back on the events as a parable about the benefits of working together instead of against each other, and the negotiations will become easy.

Of course, it doesn't work like that in real life.

If neither side is being reasonable, I'll try some conventional tactics like asking them each to make some small good-faith concessions as a starting point, or finding a set of facts that they can all agree on which can then be used as a foundation for the discussion, or asking them to try to put themselves in the others' shoes, or taking time-outs every time they start yelling at each other.

If those things don't work, I'll try some unconventional tactics like yelling and calling them idiots, or locking us all in a room without food or water until they come up with an agreement, or giving them gold stars each time they're sane and rational and making them sit in a time-out chair if they're not.

If all else fails, I'll come up with a reasonable solution on my own and call in some heavy firepower to help enforce it.

Re: Question 2

[craftyladyparts.livejournal.com]

I start taking away things from both of them until they either see reason or start agreeing just to spite me. I'm willing to keep it up until either they've both ended up with all of each others' stuff or somebody kicks me out if need be.