fandomhigh | The Library, February 22

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The Library, February 22

Zero opens the library and heads for her customary station behind the desk. She doesn't seem to have any trashy romance novels about today, so she should be helpful, if you need help. The library is open, people!

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"Madam Director."

Parker is pretty obviously not pleased.

"Co-director," Rory corrected gently.

"You got me into this. I auditioned 'cause you asked! Now I have to kiss an ass's head!"

"It's just Xander," Rory said. And then her eyes went very wide. "Unless Xander gets sick or something. Then it's just, um, Anakin." She shook her head. "In any case, it's just going to be an ass's head. And you're queen."

Parker pinched the bridge of her nose and closed her eyes. "Of the fairies." She scowled, then opened her eyes to glare at Rory again. "I hate the ending of this damn play. Oberon wins! It sucks!" Then she blinked. "Wait, Anakin is Xander's understudy?! Okay, I have to tell Harris he can't quit. Because that is... too weird."

"You're telling me," Rory muttered. "Hey, I'll get Xander to stay, if it needs to happen. And sure, Oberon wins, but Titania obviously should be the one winning."

"Damn straight." Parker started to smirk. "You know, there's nothing to say we can't-- modify the ending. Just a little?" She added, "Oh, and Xander didn't audition. Your good buddy in caffiene, Jake, did it for him. And Xander didn't kiss anyone or make up magic glitter stories a week or so ago. You may want to watch yourself, Miss Co-Director."

"Oh, dear," Rory sighed. "I thought the pirate had just gotten to him."

"The pirate? What's Barbossa done *now*?" Parker cocked an annoyed eyebrow and added, "Hey, if they're putting a ninja and Steve Austin into this play, the ending should be negotiable too."

"I don't know, I need to talk to Cordy," Rory said, waving a hand. "Barbossa, um, auditioned people. Against their will. Sent in tapes and stuff."

"Ohhhhh. That explains Vala. And Jack." Parker shook her head. "He is *so* cruising for time in the brig, I swear I don't know why he hasn't been keel-hauled yet. Except no one we know has a boat."

"That creepy guy who calls me Color Becky does," Rory pointed out. "But I don't want to borrow his boat. But yeah, he auditioned a whole bunch of people. Ergo why Anakin, who admittedly is not Mr. Up-With-People, usually, is the Wall."

Parker started laughing. "Oh. My god. You're kidding? You're not kidding. Oh, that's perfect!" She chortled a bit more, then said, "So, are people really stuck in the play, even if they didn't audition? I may reconcile myself to this for the sight of Zero stalking Adama, but I'm not sure anything's going to keep Xander in there short of non-stop detention threats."

"I'll get Xander to stay," Rory promised. "I'll, I dunno, bribe him or something. Oh! That reminds me."

She pulled out her phone. "Wanna see what John got turned into yesterday?"

"Of course." Parker took the phone, snickering as Rory brought the photo up. "Ha!"

"He was a hat," Rory said helpfully.

"I heard, but I didn't believe. Ohh, boy. What did he do to deserve this *this* time? Claim to be Skeeter's father? Dance the Macarena? Offer to hook her up with a cabana boy?"

"He didn't really do anything," Rory shrugged. "Which is why he was a hat and not an animal, I think."

Parker's eyes narrowed. "Right." She smirked evilly. "If I weren't already helping Fraiser get this bitch, I'd be coming up with something for her now. When is she on radio again? I think a dedication to the pure true love of family that she and Wilbur have together is in order."

"I think she has Mondays, but it's been all weird lately," Rory said thoughtfully. "And who are you helping? Janet or the Mountie?"

"Janet. It involved a lot of lying. So no matter what you hear? I don't have a birthmark." Parker looked dreamy for a second. "I'd help Constable Fraser anywhere in any way he wanted, though."

"Did you see my article?" Rory asked happily.

If Parker could *squee*, she would. "Yes! Ha! He likes us best, he likes us best!"

"He soooo does. Xander just thinks he was being polite." Rory pouted a little.

"Xander's delusional." And in denial. "If he was just being polite, he would've said that he didn't have a favorite part of the school, that it's all wonderful, etcetera and la-di-dah. He likes us best!" Parker did a little shimmy with victory arms, and grinned. "Think I can kick his legs out from under him when I graduate?"

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