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Library, Saturday

Sholeh had been very happy to get a call that morning to ask if she could cover today's library shift. Not for any reason other than because she liked being helpful and enjoyed the library of course. There couldn't BE any other reason for her to want to get out of her room and go somewhere calming and relaxing.

Most certainly not because of any insinuations on radio today. That would be ridiculous! Presposterous! Utterly foolish! And, of course, wholly unnecessary, because she trusted Evan. Even if he was in some girl's room complimenting her flexibility. And offering to "spot" her. He was nice. Compliments and offers to help were just what he did.

See? She was completely unbothered. Totally. Undeniably. Completely.

*Sholeh, are you sure you're all right?*

"I AM FINE!" Sholeh snapped and then stomped away to load up the return cart. With possibly a little more force than necessary.

See? She was great!

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Yeul did not have tea, but she did have hot chocolate to share, which was almost the same thing.

(Although not really.)

"Hello...," Yeul trailed off as she watched Sholeh. "Are you alright, Sholeh?"

Because hot chocolate was better than tea. By a factor of a millionty.

"Just fine," Sholeh groused. "Just dandy and peachy-keen."

She was none of those things, Yeul. Don't be fooled by her excellent acting skills.

Luckily, Yeul was far too experienced for that to fool her.

Try again in a couple thousand years, Sholeh.

"Oh, Sholeh..." Yeul said, wandering further into the library and wondering what to continue with. Yeul held out one of the hot chocolates. "I brought you a drink."

That got through her cloud of grumpiness. Sholeh looked up at Yeul, then at the proffered chocolate, and then back to Yeul again. Some of the sulkiness left her face, replaced with chagrin. "You did? Thanks. I guess I could use it."

You thought?

Yeul smiled slightly.

"I thought it would be nice," she said lightly. "It's a rather cool day outside."

Nevermind that they were inside now. Shhh.

But they'd had to go outside to get inside! And had gotten cold from that, surely.

"It is nice," Sholeh assured her. "And really thoughtful. Thanks, Yeul. But--oh. Were you coming to visit Cassidy? I know this is usually her shift."

"I was not visiting anyone in particular," Yeul admitted cheerfully. "I simply thought that I would get two drinks and then visit, and whomever I found would perhaps be convinced to take the second drink off my hands."

She hoped it didn't hurt Sholeh's feelings that the hot chocolate had not specifically been for her originally, though there was no one else she'd give it to now.

Not at all! Sholeh was glad she was not stealing someone else's hot chocolate! She was a little touchy on the subject of people taking things that were supposed to be for someone else.

...No reason.

"You're so thoughtful," she said, taking her first sip of cocoa. "I don't think I've ever just randomly bought an extra cocoa or something to share with the first person I met."

"I do not do it all the time," Yeul replied easily. "But when I think of it, it rarely seems like a bad idea. Most people are pleasantly inclined towards a free drink, and it is a good way to talk to someone you have not met. Or even those you have."

"I should start doing that more," Sholeh decided. "Trying to get out and talk to people. That's something else I don't think about often."

She had a few good friends, her sisters, and books. That was enough to make her happy most days.

Days that didn't include vile insinuations on the radio that she didn't even believe in anyway.

It wasn't as if Yeul was particularly good at getting out and talking to people either...

"No?" she said, smiling gently. "Perhaps it might be good to think about then. I should do the same." Yeul glanced at Sholeh. "Would you like to talk about what is on your mind today, Sholeh?"

Sholeh sighed, fiddling with her cocoa a bit before answering. "It's stupid," she muttered. "I'm upset for no good reason and I know that, but instead of that making me feel less grumpy, I'm even moreso because there's nothing worse than acting like an idiot and knowing you are and still not being able to stop."

"I do not think the things that bother you are stupid," Yeul said softly. "They may be small things, or things with no rational basis, but the way they make you feel is never stupid."

"Definitely the part with no rational basis," Sholeh mumbled. "Did you hear the radio today?"

The lying radio?

Yeul shook her head slightly.

"No," she said, "I do not usually. I mean to, sometimes, but then I don't get around to it. Or I forget. What did radio say?"

Edited 2014-01-19 00:46 (UTC)

"Something dumb," Sholeh said, staring down at her cocoa like it was the most fascinating substance in the history of the world. "Just insinuated that Evan was...involved sorta...with another girl yesterday. Which is completely not true and anyone who knows him knows that!"

The last came out in a hot rush, because now she was angry on his behalf, too. Which was just what she needed. More upset to add to all the rest.

Sholeh wouldn't mind if Yeul slipped one arm around her shoulders in a half-hug, would she? Yeul thought Sholeh needed it.

"It is not true," she agreed, because Evan did not seem the sort. "And it is unfortunate that radio said such a thing." She hesitated, then asked, "Are you upset solely on his behalf? Or is it more complicated?"

Most things, Yeul found, were more complicated than simple.

Hugs were the very best. If there was one way that Sholeh thought that one-faced sisters had it better, it was that they could get hugs from their sisters whenever they wanted.

"More complicated," Sholeh agreed, looking a little shame-faced. "Even knowing it couldn't possibly be true, I'm still upset."

Dumb thing? Or dumbest thing?

Neither of those.

"It's alright to be upset," she said gently. "Will you tell me why you're upset? You believe Evan would not do such a thing, so what is it that has left you so out-of-sorts? The idea that someone might believe it and make a mistake?"

"If it were just that, I wouldn't be mad at myself for being mad," Sholeh grumbled. "I'm--not entirely sure what's wrong? I'm just mad at him, even though I know he didn't do anything wrong."

Oh, Sholeh. You weren't mad. You were jealous.

"Mad at him for being in a room with a beautiful, glamorous, s-sexy girl. Who was flexible at him."

Yeul, there was still time for you to change your assessment on how dumb this was.

Yeul did not laugh only because she suspected that it would hurt Sholeh's feelings. She didn't want to do that--not when Sholeh was doing such a good job on her own.

"I do not think mad is quite the right word," she said gently, instead, rubbing circles on Sholeh's back. "I wonder if it is more that you are... concerned that he might look at this other girl and think you do not measure up."

Yeul was wise to trust her instincts. If she laughed, Sholeh would probably run, sobbing, into the stacks, never to be seen again.

More than that, she'd put a finger on exactly why Sholeh was so upset. She nodded, miserable, but didn't speak. Just nodded.

Oh dear. Poor Sholeh.

"I expect that you know already that Evan likes you," Yeul said softly, "so I will not tell you to think about that. Instead, will you tell me why you do not believe yourself beautiful? I think you are lovely indeed."

She was very, very young sometimes. Especially for a girl who was about to be seventeen in only a few more days.

"Me? Oh, no, I'm not." She shook her head for emphasis, because that would help Yeul realize she was wrong. "I mean, I don't think I'm ugly--" anymore, though those first few years of puberty had been rough, "--but I know I'm not beautiful, either. Or s-sexy. Zhari's one, Zee's the other, and I'm the third."

Skinny, bookish, and freckled. Anne Shirley would totally feel her pain right now.

"Sholeh," Yeul said, "when people look at you, I do not believe they think you are plain. Quiet, perhaps. Shy and awkward and young, but not plain. Both of your sisters are lovely to look at, but so are you. And why shouldn't you be? You are your sisters' equal. Not inferior to them. Different hair colours, different faces, different attitudes, everything is different--but equal."

She looked searchingly at Sholeh.

"Except, perhaps, confidence."

Re: Talk to Sholeh

3girls-1core.livejournal.com - 2014-01-19 04:23 (UTC) - Expand

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